I prefer relationships and friendships with adults. I'm almost 17, and myself and this guy I've known for three years have a friendship. But we have romantic feelings for eachother as well. He is 9 yrs. older than me. Is there something wrong with this?
by 
tomboyriot
ANSWERS: 27
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nope, people say that its not right for an older man to like a much younger girl and all this stuff but your 17 you should know better and know when someone is trying to take advantage of you, if you feel safe with him and you like him then theres nothing wrong with it
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There is a TREMENDOUS difference between a 16 yr. old girl, and a 25 yr. old guy (MUCH more than a mere 9 yrs.). I recommend that you be extremely careful -- you may be 'playing with fire!', and may easily 'get burned! (P.S.: such a relationship, if involving 'intimacy', is also illegal im most U.S. states -- just so you know).
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HelloHaley said it nicely and I believe correctly. Only in the eyes of the law is it wrong. There is noting wrong at all for loving and being in love with a man 9 yrs. older than you.
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There is nothing wrong with having romantic feelings, it happenes. However, you, despite feeling older than you are, have a limited amount of life experience. This guy is 26. The fact that he is moving towards a teenager instead of a woman who is closer to his age means either that you are exceptionally mature or that he is immature. Chances are that you will get older, grow up even more and get wiser. At his age, chances are that he is immature. Since he has not grown up, chances are that you will pass him by within a few short years while he will still be chasing teenage girls. I know this guy who is in his forties, who prides himself on the fact that he can date young women. He is a jerk to them. My point is that he has to date young women because the rest of us who have experience, who are of his age, see that he is an idiot and wouldn't date him!
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Not now, it may have been a problem 3 years ago
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You will find out that there are just so many differences between you both that it won't work out. When I was 18, I fancied a guy who was 25 but we just weren't on the same page. Listen to the song "Hey Nineteen" by Steely Dan and you will figure out what I am trying to say.
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In the framing of your question alone, it is evident that you are more mature than your age would suggest. I compliment you. As for your question, itself, it is more common than many of us realize that age differences in relationships occur many, many times. In addition to what you stated, I would think that you are not all that attracted to young men your own age in terms of romance...or much of anything else. In my view, it's fine...and understandable. Let your maturity and common sense continue to guide you in your relationship. Be wise in how you proceed. Take it slowly. Things may change...or they may not. My best wishes to you...to you both. +5
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Ahhhhhhh.... I would be concerned with why someone so much older doesn't seem to be concerned with the vulnerable feelings of a teenager. Honestly, I would assume he might be damaged if he isn't weary of this situation and the possibility of manipulating someone with not as much life experience. If I was a parent in this situation I would be very angry regardless of how great a guy he is and how you feel about each other.
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Be friends until you are over 18. If you still feel the same way, it is not a huge age difference.
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It really depends on the two people involved. You also might want to note that doing things with this guy may be considered against the law where you live, depending on where you live. Do your parents know about him?
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you are jail bait in Connecticut! doesn't he seem a bit immature to you? there should be a huge difference in personalities you are still in highschool and he should be well into adulthood
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im the same way girl. im almost 22 and my boyfriend and know father of my child is 33. i couldnt imagine being with any thing better. however i was living on my own at 17 and have always been more mature for my age i was running a resturant at the age of 20. but age is just a number its the person that matters. just know too your young and enjoy life while you can.
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Its sounds like a good deal, but when I think about you guys being friends...when you were 14, and he was....23....thats a little strange. But, since you are almost of age...its up to you.
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You sound like me when I was at your age. I can understand why you'd be attracted to older men, because boys at your age aren't very mature. Nevertheless, it would be wise to maintain a friendship with this man and not go any further. Men of that age who are attracted to very young women are usually immature. If you date him, you may find that you quickly outpace his maturity level after a few short years. This has been my experience.
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Nothing wrong at all in my book. My sis was 8 years older than me so at an early age, I hung out more with older people than with those of my own age. I feel I relate to them better, and am even marrying one. My guy is 13 years older than me, and I couldn't be happier. Just remember that most states consider 17 to be statuatory, so if the two of you decide to take a romantic walk together, limit it to handholding until the big 18.
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My mother dated my father (9 years older) when she was 18. They married when she was 22, and their marriage lasted 56 years. They both passed away in 2001 within 5 months of each other. I hope this answers your question.
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Hmmm ok people there is nothing wrong with it, sweetie im in the same boat, im 17, and i recently started dating a guy who is 26, my mother encouraged me! some people just cant handle the immature punks who are supposedly "the right age" its not about the age, its about love, aslong as you are sure its romantic feelings and not any bad things then go for it... just if you do anything before the legal age (keep it damn quiet) Make sure hes hanging round u for the right reasons, at the start of the year i got out of a 1 an a bit year long relationship with a guy who was 22/23, we were about to move in together (this happened in the caribbean - not many laws) then i found out he had girls on the side and he was just using me, and he started beating on me so just make sure the reasons are right and go for it!!! f*** the haters!! right? its ur life, your happiness, your future, not theirs!!
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There are some states that both parties muct be over 18 to be consenting adults. Please be careful and make sure your not being used.At 16 years old some 25 year olds would consider you a trophie more then a girl friend.
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there is nothing wrong with it at all. As long as you are in agreement and desire to do so there is no problem at all. Rights of privacy should prevail here
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if so i'm really messed up(i'm 13 and made out with a 19 and 17 yearold)
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Yep, he is way to young for you ;-)
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not at all. although my boyfriend is only 4 years older then me, two of my closet friends are 44 and 65, and i meet them for a drink every week, they are funnier and more intelligent then anyone i know and weve been friends for 5 years. im 22. also because i am female and they are male, they were accused of outrageous things when we first made friends. there is nothing wrong with your situation
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It could be ok but be careful. And, if you are have sexual relations, depending upon where you live, he could go to prison.
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He can't have a real conversation with you. Date boys closer to your age for now. When you're 26 & he's 35 then see haw you feel.
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We the people just talk because we think but, not everything we think is the truth, even if we beleive it to be. Is my opinion that most men are atracted to young women not because they are young but because they are pretty. Beauty can stay with some women for all their lives and they're going to be admired not only in their adolescence but also in their mature years. This guy coud be your biggest fan the rest of your life if you both have the personality that leads to a good relatioship because beauty is not all there is.
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If you have to ask... then, yes, there is.
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My dadmom was 23 and my dad 45 when they married. They wer fine.
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