If a relationship deepens quickly, but yet feels right, is it wise to allow it to continue deepening, or to apply some kind of brakes?
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Yanstari
ANSWERS: 13
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What are you afraid of...?
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Go with your heart...
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If you cannot tell whether its love or infatuation, then you should apply the brakes untill you can tell.....
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Its not wise to move to fast, so you may want to tap the brakes just alittle.
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How exactly are you going to "apply some kind of brakes" without either offending the other person or preventing the relationship from going any further anyway. just dive in and go for it. :)
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The only brakes I'd put on it is to hold off on sex until you are married. Other than that, go for it. There are several reasons for waiting to have sex. One is that even with birth control, there is always the chance of accidental conception. Every child deserves to have two committed parents who are going to do their very best together to raise it properly. If you aren't ready financially, mentally, physically and spiritually to do that, wait. The other reason is that sex bonds you very tightly together, so that a break up is just as painful as ripping off an arm. As for going for it, absolutely. Use the time of courtship to explore feelings, values, morals, character, what you both want out of life, where you want to live, whether you both want children, how many children, and even how you will handle the mundane details of life. Talk about how you will handle it if life throws you a curve ball, because it definitely will. And if it still feels right, then pop the question.
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If it is deepening quick, and it's both of you who are doing it and it's not just a one sided thing that I would say just go with the flow. :) If it feels right, then there is no need to stop it, go with your heart and enjoy the closness. It may be scary as it's getting to be a quick commitment, but it could also end up in one of the best relationships you've ever had. :) I'm talking from experience lol, so I know that it can go a really good way. If at anytime you feel like your other half is going a little too fast for you and you are starting to feel uncomfortable, that is the time to 'put the brakes on'; but for now, just enjoy it and don't worry. Good luck :) x
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If it feels right, let that guide you. If your friend respects you and cares for you, s/he will respect your boundaries and treat them with care.
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well lovly i cum out of a two year relationship about 3 months ago and now i got into another realtionship and it was all going so fast so iv slowed it down i wudnt jump into things can go terribly wrong but but but if you feel you can do this then hell yeah go for it!! x Best of luck! :)
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i would put the brakes on...i want to know the person i'm getting involved with and that only comes with time. if it's right today it will still be right next week, next month and next year...so there is time.
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if the coast is clear keep going, but if the road turns ahead slow down. As long as you dont run into any problems, this may be a match made in heaven.
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I don't think any brakes are necessarily required, but I think, to avoid unnecessary heartache, people should always be aware of their own feelings and thoughts and should communicate openly and honestly with the other person. People should also strive to keep in mind the general fact that life is forever changing and it's unreasonable to think that something one way one day will be exactly the same in the future. Relationships are growing, breathing things in a way, I don't see anything wrong in allowing them to deepen and develop unhindered. Within relationships, however, are agreements -- marriage being an obvious example -- and for these I think brakes can sometimes be useful, to allow time for both people to understand what is really involved in the agreement and if they are really able and willing to commit.
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In my personal experience, when everything feels right, and has a fast progression into deep feelings, it ends up bad. The best and most healthy relationship I have ever been in (and still am) went very slowly and we developed feelings for each other over time as we got to know each other better. But, hey, it could be fine. I would just be cautious and make sure you don't purposely overlook any red flags.
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