My entire life has been a disaster due abuse by my father. School staff told my mother to get me help but she refused. Why do my sisters who knew of my problems say don't blame Mom she was abused by dad too and she didn't know you needed help?
by 
Apples
ANSWERS: 6
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It's simple, they love their mum. They're wrong to say this as it makes it feel like they're deminishing what you've been through, but it's unlikely they'll stop saying it. I think this is one of those circumstances where you have to chose the lesser of 2 evils.
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It seems there is no one to blame here but your dad! Maybe your mum didnt get you help because she didnt know how much it had affected you and was also struggling to cope herself, some people choose to ignore the problems and think they will go over time, however this obviously still affects you, its never to late to face these problems and go and get help your self. your sisters just love their mum and thats why they may be comming of abit insensitive to you, maybe they saw things that happend to your mum you didnt and that has affected them and they understand why she is being the way she is, who knows?! All i can say is maybe you should go and get some kind of counselling your self to deal with this and let the others sort them selves out. xx
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Try to make your sisters understand that it's a cycle and that your Mom wrongly allowed the cycle to continue and effect you as well as her. Then maybe if you can make your sisters understand then all of you can confront your Mom and make her understand. Then maybe she will help you get help.
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How about taking responsibility for yourself. Your life is a disaster because of you. Sure, you need professional help, but you're an adult and you know that. Stop blaming other people and take actions that will help the problem.
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they dont want you to hate her
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They feel their family unit is being threatened by your seeking of answers and reasons and this is something they do not feel comfortable dealing with, because they do not understand where you are coming from or why it is so important to you now. ~ Try to help them understand that you are not simply looking for someone to blame. Explain to them that you are looking for acknowledgement, that you are looking for someone to step up and accept responsibility for what happened to you as a child. Perhaps then, they will feel less fearful and be more able to communicate with you about your past.
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