My fiancee has stopped drinking cold turkey last week. We were fine today until he started talking about bars and all the drinking. I said it would be difficult for him to be in that environment and he got angry and stopped talking to me.What can I do?
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 7
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Just be supportive and listen to what he has to say, instead of telling him how he feels or what he is or is not capable of. His lack of control is probably a sensitive issue for him that he need to come to terms with. To hear someone else, a loved and trusted person, reinforcing a conclusion that he himself has not owned, is a bit dismissive.
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Its so difficult to deal with a touchy subject like that, cause then they are just going to call you the "nag" but you are right it is a bad idea. I would give him his space and then try a different appoach. If he's your fiance I'm sure you can think of a better way to talk to him
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Find a new fiance, yours sounds like he is an alcoholic. He might be a great person but this is a major issue/addiction with him and unless you plan to spend the extra effort needed to keep him away for alcohol, in return for very little gratitude, you are going to be in for a world of misery emotionally.
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Based on what you said you said, you expressed a lack of trust and confidence in him and his ability to manage his "condition". That was a bad move on your part...IMO. I might have responded with more likes of, "OK, but do you think you'll be OK in that environment? It might be rough for you." Keep in mind that if he were a heavy user, and he went cold turkey last week, he very well may be "on edge", and that condition may last for a long time to come. Obviously, he's aware of his problem, and wants to beat it. Don't over-react...lean towards full support. Finally, contact AA and seek advice as to how you should handle yourself, rather than shooting from the hip, as it were. AA is a great organization, with direct hands-on experience and more than eager to help. +5
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Take him out for a drink
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I think that your fiancee is having a hard time with not drinking and he is missing that part of his life. You are correct that it would be hard for him to go to the bar and not drink, and I do think that if you guys went to the bar than he would drink. However maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt and give it a try, and if it doesn’t work than he can’t hold it against you. Good Luck
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well what you said was true but that doesn't matter. I know what happens when i quit smoking. I got angry and sensitive and short fused. That is typical. I suppose
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