ANSWERS: 3
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You said it's hitting you hard. This is totally understandable, particularly since it's been out of your realm of conscious thought until now. I would strongly recommend working with a counselor skilled in the area of trauma to help you process all of this and move through it with as little re-traumatizing as possible. Best wishes to you...
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Counseling, drugs, psychotherapy. Going Postal will not take care of any of the original problems. Trust me, that'll just make things worse.
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I had counselling myself, but i don't think it actually helped me at all (it works for some but not others). Whatever you do, don't bury it any longer. If you feel sad, let it out, cry. If you feel angry, find a good outlet for that; punch pillows, scream, write it down on paper and then destroy it. but you must deal with these emotions, as they are like "pure poison" and suck all the joy out of your life. If counselling for you is out of the question, then at least confide in someone you trust, get it off your chest. Also, there are many groups on the internet for survivors of sexual abuse as children, these can be really helpful, and you will get a lot of support from others who have experienced the same thing. I am really sorry to that you were abused, and i wish you the best of luck. You deserve it.
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