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by highrider30m on January 12th, 2005

highrider30m

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I love giving my wife oral sex, but she doesn't enjoy receiving it and never has. Is there anything I can do to help her enjoy it more?

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Answers. 17 helpful answers below.

  • by Anonymous on February 10th, 2006

    Anonymous

    In most cases where guys get this wrong, its down to being too rough. Remember to start gentle and slowly with light pressure, and then build up the pace a bit more. You could ask her to push at your head slightly if she wants you to increase the pressure or pull your hair (gently!) if she wants it gentler- this puts her in control of the experience, so she can get exactly what she wants from it.
    Some women enjoy a little pain during oral sex, but until you learn otherwise you're safest to assume that she doesn't- so don't biteor nibble, and don't suck - the area is so sensitive that there's a very thin line between "ooh thats nice" and "ow, that just hurts". And the bit I think is most important- once she's come STOP! If only for a few moments whilst she recovers. Women become far more sensitive after orgasm and what would normally be pleasurable can become downright painful at that point. Let her calm down first, or go straight to full sex from behind, to give her clitoris a rest.
    Also; foreplay begins a lot earlier than many men think- it involves the meal you have together, the evening chatting, the sensual massage, the pink champagne, the sexy underwear you buy her, the compliments you pay her- oral sex is not just foreplay, its an act that needs build up in itself for a truly sensual experience, so spend more time on the little sensual (but not necessarily sexual) things, and she'll feel sexier, and more receptive.

    On the other hand (although I can't imagine why this would be!) if you try all this and she still doesn't like it- don't force the issue, or you'll make her feel guilty and damage the rest of your sex life.

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  • by Alonzo Garbonzo on April 7th, 2005

    Alonzo Garbonzo

    At least half of the enjoyment of giving oral sex is the woman's pleasure. So it is puzzling that you continue to do it in spite of her lack of enjoyment. This is questionable behavior to say the least.

    A few women object to oral sex because they don't want to "lose control." Other than that, I have never heard of a woman not enjoying it. You could be doing something to put her off, such as making a lot of slurping noises, as if dining on barbecued ribs. Maybe you are chafing her with beard stubble. Maybe you are too rough.

    See if she would be willing to teach you what she likes. Otherwise, it's an issue for a therapist or counsellor.

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  • by postmuffin on December 20th, 2006

    postmuffin

    Communication is important. Has she enjoyed oral sex before or are you the first man to give her oral sex? If you are the first, then she may just be very uncomfortable with you "up close and personal." I remember when my first boyfriend did it for me and I just couldn't believe that anyone could enjoy doing that to me. (I was only 16 then) I was pretty embarrassed and it took a little while for me to get comfortable. My bf and I read books to instruct us how to give each other oral sex and they were very helpful. Since then I have had a lot of different men do it, and some are very very good and some are pretty terrible. If you have done this for other women and they were pleased, then you're probably doing it pretty well, but communication is what is important here. You need to talk to your wife (outside the bedroom) about her likes and dislikes and tell her that you want instructions from her if you're not doing it right. Tell her she won't hurt your feelings that you just want to do it better. If she still doesn't feel comfortable with it, you may just need to give this up. Because the most important thing is that you are both enjoying sex.

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  • by Tye209 on May 12th, 2005

    Tye209

    U can try a few things, but let me tell you how to do this properly. Dont just rush down there, take your time and rub her body gently. Rub down her legs to her feet and then back up and then slowly and passionately kiss her inner thighs. Then nibble on up while moving one hand further up her leg and the other on her stomach. When you start to lick her, long soft soft strokes from the bottom of the clit to the top of her clit. Do that for awhile while teasing the opening of the vagina. Do not stick your finger all the way...just tease her. Then lick to your right which will be the left side of her clit. That side is more sensitive in most women. Judge by her body language and decide how much of your finger to insert, then change your tongue motion to a figure eight then go back and finish her out when its time. She will start to ride your finger and you will both enjoy it more at that point. wish ya luck . Remember, soft and tender to begin, keep her wanting more.

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  • by tamzin on May 14th, 2006

    tamzin

    To be honest i cant see why she doesnt like it! i wish my partner loved giving it me all the time! id love it! but make sure u do it slowly first teasing and concentrate on the clitorus becoz this wil make her cum an keep likin it go slower then faster an harder u will get the reward when she releases good luckx

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  • by Patman on January 13th, 2005

    Patman

    Find out WHY she doesn't enjoy it? The possibilities are endless.. It could be anything from childhood issues/trauma to just being uncomfortable with herself. Talk to herm find out what it is about it that she doesn't enjoy, and work on it. It could be an unresolvable problem, especially if it's psychological.

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  • by Praveen on October 11th, 2009

    Praveen

    Oral sex could be anything. It depends on what type of oral sex you are doing. First give her pleasure in simple things. Suck her nipple, lick her pussy, insert your middle finger into her vagina then step by step...

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  • by jopauw on December 1st, 2009

    jopauw

    All of the above plus maybe try stimulating her nipples while licking: rubbing, squeezing, rolling,... very gently (!) Try doing these things in sync with what your tongue is doing.

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  • by buster on November 21st, 2009

    buster

    With most women, it's all about the build-up. Draw out the foreplay for a very long time, make it all about turning her on. when she wants you so bad that you are going to explode, then make your way down to her sweet little pussy. tease her with the oral sex, lick around her clit, but don't touch it yet. After a few minutes of quality teasing, hopefully she will just grab your head and pull your face into her sex and beg you to eat her 'till she cums in your mouth.
    Good luck!

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  • by Anonymous on April 6th, 2008

    Anonymous

    been maried 10 years it took me that long to know what she likes . tyr to find what and how she likes it mate. My wife is indian and she never tell what she likes

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  • by ekersongeorge on July 14th, 2011

    ekersongeorge

    http://www.xvideos.com/video237488/nina_hartley_seymore_butts_how_to_eat_pussy_like_a_champ

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  • by kirsten_dee on February 26th, 2010

    kirsten_dee

    I dont like oral performed on me. I like things a little bit more rough. Perhaps try sticking a finger in while licking her clit dont think any girl would complain about that.

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  • by Chris the other white meat on April 10th, 2008

    Chris the other white meat

    Not sure if someone already said this but some women get stimulated with insertion and others from stimulating the exterior. Now there are two possibilites. Either you are just terrible at it. In that case you need to have her tell you what to do. Find out what feels good. the second is that she only stimulates from insertion. At that point if you wish to continue oral try fingering her and eating out at the same time or use a dildo.

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  • by wthing8 on June 20th, 2008

    wthing8

    Yes.STOP

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  • by goofy66 on October 11th, 2009

    goofy66

    maybe you doing it too hard, some woman are very sensitive on that thing

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  • by Mr. Kitty on September 14th, 2009

    Mr. Kitty

    Watch some good porn together, then let her continue watching while you are down there. She may not be comfortable saying what she wants, ask her questions that require only yes or no, like, is this good, does it feel good when I do that, is this okay...say encouraging things, like, you taste so sweet, I love your pussy.

    Don't urge her to cum, maybe she won't ever, or she might learn to, but it could still be fun and enjoyable for both w/o an orgasm. Nothing kills my enjoyment more than a guy who is down there urging me to cum.

    This may have been said already but sucking the clit gently and then a little rough towards the end is oh so good, as well as a finger up and down her slippery slit, inserted very slowly, and then deeper will enhance the sensations for her, but ask as you go.

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  • by Anonymous on February 16th, 2010

    Anonymous

    My wife was like that too. She always prefered her orgasms with intercouse. Oral orgasms weren't intense. That led to her getting bored until I stopped and we began to fuck. I was reading a book ,don't remember, but it was about the mental aspect of it and making it intense and something she would like.
    It wasn't until I ate her hot creampie for the first time. She wanted to go again and began to suck my cock. When I told her that I wanted to lick her pussy, she didn't want me to because my cum was oozing out.I told her that I didn't care and went down on her and began licking her. Her legs were spread, she just looked at me like I was nuts for wanting to do it, but she didn't stop me. I licked my cum from her as it oozed out of her. I took my finger and put it in her. When I pulled it out it was coated with cum. I rubbed it on her clit and covered it with cum. She told me"enough playing around", and wanted me to put my hard cock back in. Actually, I was hard from my first kinky action of licking my cum after fucking her. I looked up at her and told her to watch for one minute. She looked down and I stuck out my tongue and licked it up,down and sideways. When I pulled the hood back I exposed her "little cock", put some cum on it and gave her a mini bj. Whatever I did was doing the trick. She shook and quivered, then squirted right on my chin. It wasn't pee. I couldn't miss this and went right back down on her. Instead of pushing my head away, she pulled it in so tight I had to open my mouth sideways to breath.
    Ever since, oral is one of her favorite things to enjoy.

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