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by youngmom on February 3rd, 2007

youngmom

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Im a 20yr.old mom.Ive been w/ my partner for 4 1/2 yrs.Recently hes been going out every wknd for 7 or more hours! god knows where.He tells me hes not married and doesnt have 2answer2 no one when i ask about this or tell him how i feel.Is it time 2go?

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Answers. 4 helpful answers below.

  • by Tantric on February 4th, 2007

    Tantric

    From a male point of view I think you may be facing an abuse and control situation. Some people have trouble recognizing that they are being abused. Recognizing abuse may be especially difficult for someone who has lived with it for many years. A person might think that it's just the way things are and that there's nothing that can be done about it. People who are abused might mistakenly think they bring it on themselves by misbehaving or by not living up to someone's expectations. He may think you should just accept he fact that he goes out where ever he wants and whenever he wants for as long as he wants to stay gone and he expects you to think it's ok.

    Abuse is always about CONTROL. This is a form of control and it is verbal abuse, it is emotional abuse, I hope there is no physical abuse. The abuser or controller is all ABOUT CONTROLLING YOUR you, subtly or maybe even openly.

    CONTROLLING behaviors such as those above are used by verbal abusers to gain feelings of power and control whenever the suppressed fear and pain in his own life start to "seep out" - terrified of not being in control, terrified of "feeling," terrified of you preparing to leave the relationship.

    If there isn’t a feeling of goodwill and understanding between the two of you in your relationship, if you hurting and feeling constantly put down by actual comments, for instance, "You can’t do anything right," You aren’t listening," you don't need to know , I don't have to answer you, or you may be frequently yelled at, then you may be in a verbally, controlling, abusive relationship.

    Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the "silent treatment"), manipulate, and control.

    You may have some decisions to make.

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  • by Mirage V2.0 AWOL on February 4th, 2007

    Mirage V2.0 AWOL

    I think the terms of your relationship have just been re-defined for you. And the magic 8 ball says: "Look for a change"

    I turned the ball again: "Hire a lawyer."

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  • by romelang1 on February 4th, 2007

    romelang1

    Leave if you have somewhere else to go. A committed relationship is no different to being married and he's not taking this relationship seriously.

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  • by Sunblynd 5.0 on February 4th, 2007

    Sunblynd 5.0

    Absolutely.

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You're reading Im a 20yr.old mom.Ive been w/ my partner for 4 1/2 yrs.Recently hes been going out every wknd for 7 or more hours! god knows where.He tells me hes not married and doesnt have 2answer2 no one when i ask about this or tell him how i feel.Is it time 2go?

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