Sheila? sorry bad flash back that was my psycho ex-wife who did similar things to me. SEEK HELP NOW you need someone professional to talk to before you do something you might regret. Trust me when I say he's not entertianed when you do it no matter what he says.

That sounds like a very serious problem, and you really should talk to someone with medical credentials, and when your BF comes over lock up all your sharp objects before you hurt him. It almost sounds like Schizophrenia(totally spelled that wrong) Good luck!!

You must not have liked these answers, but they are the truth. Violent loss of control will get you into a lot of trouble. You may eventually end up seriously hurting him or someone else. If only for the sake of your loved ones, see someone professional. We can't help here.

He stays with you?

I do not know what is wrong with you, but I have (or had) what seems to be the exact same problem. I actually once did take a knife to his throat, and swiped it across. I didn't know at the time that there was no blade in the knife, but if there was I would have probably killed him. I also got entertained with the physical fights. I can tell you...that eventually I did get sent to jail. Which to this day I think still isn't fair because believe me he was never innocent. However, I just want to tell you to be careful. You really can get in a lot of trouble. Or get a charge that will ruin your life forever. In this state Domestic Violence/Assault and Battery is not a light charge. Take care of yourself. Take it from someone who knows...seek help. It probably doesn't seem like a very good answer, but it will help you. You don't want to wind up in jail for attempted murder or even murder. It could happen without you meaning it to. I was court ordered for help, and we're so much better now. That and we don't drink anymore. You wouldn't by any chance be drinking...? That caused a lot of the issue it seems. I wish you luck. Let me know if you need advice. I've definitely been where you are...

It involves the neurotransmitter, dopamine, that is in the brain. Commonly associated with the pleasure center of the brain, dopamine provides feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate a person to perform certain activities such as eating and sex. This same mechanism is also responsible for the craving connected with chemical addiction as well as the “high” we feel when we do something daring. Previous studies in rats have shown that animals that tend to explore and take more risks in a new environment also tend to have fewer dopamine-regulating receptors, which monitor levels of the neurotransmitter and signal the brain cells to stop producing it when there’s enough. Basically, you get extremely bored and so you need something extreme to pull you out of feeling that way. You're like a high-wire walker. Or a female Evil Knievel. That would be my guess.