Marijuana; I'm 47, gf is 45; she gets buzzed 3-4x/day, claims it doesn't mess up her life; I can't smoke it;i get drug tested at work, it's messing things up, not fair to me because I'm not allowed to;compromise maybe possible; should I keep her?
by 
chillione
ANSWERS: 18
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I'm not sure if it's necessarily fair for her to be getting ripped all day when she knows you can't. That's a little insensitive. Maybe you could ask her to cut down? Or at least be sober when you two are together (like when you're not at work, etc.). I know that when my boyfriend is sober and I'm high (or vice versa) the conversation and connection just isn't as good. Talk to her about it, and tell her how you feel. If she chooses pot over a relationship, then you aren't missing out on much, man.
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Sorry but the issue here is less that she is doing it and more that you're jealous of her. Honestly I don't see a compromise as being fair in this case.... that isn't to say that I condone drug use.
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You are right, I am jealous I admit it, what should I do though because it's always going to be between us, thanks for any advice!
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tell her that being around her when she does it might make you susceptible to a positive drug test. tell her they started testing people's hair or something, and being around her might cause you to fail the test even if you aren't smoking. it's not technically accurate but she might believe it. good luck.
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A 45 year old stoner is just not cool. Remember one of the rules of perception is that you are the company that you keep. If your employer were to find that she is a stoner, it could hurt your career. If she were to get popped by the police, you could get dragged into it, too. Be careful!
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Is that really all you have to complain about in life? That your girlfriend gets to smoke weed and you don't? That the unfairness of it all is getting you down so much that you're thinking about ending it with her? You're 47 years old. Don't you think it might be time to grow up? Move past the obsession with getting trashed and focus on what actually matters, which is keeping your job? The world is in a very bad place financially right now - can you really afford to screw your job up because you want to smoke pot? As for your relationship - yes, I'm being judgemental, but you asked for advice: Dump her. She sounds like a loser. Anyone that gets high that much can't possibly have an adult job that requires much attention or responsibility. Her drug use is a problem.
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Being that your problem sounds like it is not with her drug use but sour grapes because you can't, she should be the one dumping you.
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I don't know everythng but why punish her just because you have a job that drug test Honestly you come across a little whiney
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dump her ass that will end up fucking your life up
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You're considering breaking up with your girlfriend/wife because you are envious that you can't smoke marijuana? Her smoking has no bearing on your ability to smoke. That would be like saying because somebody has diabetes, their spouse should not eat sugar because they are jealous. If you're that concerned you can quit your job. It's not her responsibility to quit smoking because you're sad you can't. I would quit or slow down if I were her, but it sounds like the only thing you can fix right now is your attitude/viewpoint on the issue.
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It's more than just a little thing, would anyone want to be with someone who's drinking several times/day? Never knowing whether you're talking to them or the alter ego? Who wants to go to a house where everyone is "partaking" and you can't?
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my daughter is in a serious relationship and he doesn't smoke. He loves her but couldn't stand to be around the marijuana. He told her it was becoming an issue with him because he really wanted a career with the CHP. She quit. She said it was the best thing she's ever done. She's in college and she said she can study more easily and doesn't feel lathargic. She doesn't hang around those same people since that was what they had in common. They are engaged and he just passed his exam. If your girlfriend would give it a chance, she may find that her outlook in life would be different than it is when she is stoned. She may actually like the way she feels. I hope it all works out for you. Take Care.
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Keep her, but replace her fatties with catnip.
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Well the answer to that question (should I keep her?)is actually another question. And that is, Do you love her? Yes=yes:(because you love her silly!) no=no: (because, if you don't love her, but do like her, then your already wasting each others valuable time to find that love. We dont have much of that (time), because life is so short. To elaborate, When you find that person no matter what he/she does, you just can't live without. Then you have the right one. And yes, you do sound a little bit jealous, and you know what? There's nothing wrong with that either, Many people would feel your pain lol
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Arent you both a little old for all this nonsense, getting 'buzzed' 3 to 4 times a day? Even the language you use is juvenile. Be careful mate, your gf sounds like she needs to take her place in the adult world...be careful she doesnt cause you to lose yours
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A person who smokes that much is running away from something with in herself. She can't face it so she gets buzzed out of her head and can't bare to be normal. Don't you think you are headed into a disaster of a relationship? She is looking for something that is badly missing within her personality makeup. There is a bad flaw in her personality somewhere. She thinks it doesn't mess up her life......... but her life is so messed up she can't bare to face it straight. Don't that tell you something about her? RUN~~!!! '
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Nope. I mean, she has a clear over the top addiction if its 3/4x a day, and marijuana while fairly cheap for a drug, definitely adds up when you smoke it that much. Plus you seem to have envy for her being able to smoke it, which means that there are other problems in this relationship. She is just going to bring you back down with her, and at 47 its time to leave that drug behind to the college kids.
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Marijuana is not addictive, but it is habit forming. If you think it is causing problems in her every day life then maybe you should talk to her about it. Let her know how you feel about the situation. Personally I smoke it 3 or 4 times a day too. On the weekends, way more, my life is totally stable and I can honestly say that I am way less stressed out and calm when I do smoke it. If the main reason you are thinking of ending it is just because you think it isn't fair then you should take another look at your perspective on things. Compare it to a different situation. If something else in you life wasn't fair, would you just cut it out of your life to avoid those feelings? Probably not.
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