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by Anonymous on December 25th, 2004

Anonymous

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I’m 17, he's 22, and we’ve been dating in secret since my parents don't approve. We love each other, but will my parents ever accept us?

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Answers. 5 helpful answers below.

  • by Glenn Blaylock on September 16th, 2005

    Glenn Blaylock

    When you are both adults, then five years difference is not that much when it comes to choosing someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. However, at your age it is a significant difference. Your are still in high school (or you should be). He should be about ready to start a career (unless he is planning on going to a graduate school). You still have a lot of maturing to do. Personally, I think that you should not be getting too serious with him. Give it at least five years. If he is really the one for you, then he will give you the space to finish growing up.

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  • by Suzuhara on February 26th, 2006

    Suzuhara

    I really cant argue with you considering I am 17 dating a 30. I love him as well but I am not going over the board making the decision that we are MEANT to be. Time will tell for us both. If you really love him, just live the the present as it is now... I wont suggest wandering into the future yet

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  • by Anon on June 16th, 2005

    Anon

    It depends on why your parents don't approve and what type of parents you have.

    If it is because of the age difference, I can understand why they might be concerned. Since he's older and probably has established a life for himself, they might worry that he could exert more power over you. Often parents worry that older, more experienced boyfriends will pressure their younger girlfriends to engage in behavior they don't approve of. However, it's likely that their fears will subside if they get to know the guy (assuming he is truly a good boyfriend) and they see that you are not being taken advantage of.

    You might have more problems, though, if the reason for their disapproval is related to differing religious beliefs, if he has a criminal history, if you're gay (you didn't say) or other issues.

    The good news is, though, that you will be 18 soon. Once you have established a place of your own you can tell them what's been going on. Don't expect them to accept it immediately, but give them time. Meantime, try your best not to care that they approve just that they probably do have your best interests at heart.

    If it makes any difference, I never thought my in-laws would ever approve of me. My husband thought he'd be disowned, his mom tried to sabotage the wedding, etc. A few years later, though, we all get a long.

    I'm sure your parents love you and don't want to entrust their child to just anyone. Is it any surprise then that it might take a while for him to earn their trust?

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  • by Anonymous on November 23rd, 2009

    Anonymous

    It's okay since you're both practically adults.
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  • by Anonymous on November 21st, 2009

    Anonymous

    You can't date in secret unless you have been leaving your house at night. Why don't you trust your parents and wait until you are ready?

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