How to tell my twelve-year-old sister she isn't the great singer that she thinks she is?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 22
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Secretly tape her and play it back
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Is there any hope for improvement if she took singing lessons? Or is she so badly off key, that you can't even imagine her improving? If you believe it would be the greatest kindness to tell her, then tape her singing, and have her listen to it, and kindly, gently tell her. I will say that as a singer who has been paid to sing...I care about how I sound! I've been very aware in the past of times I either had something going on with my voice in general, or with a specific song that I could tell something was "off." Either a unpleasant "burr" or tonal quality that was simply WRONG! I'd have to then work to change what I was doing wrong, or get help to correct it. I've been singing since I was in a group band at age 15. 12 is pretty young, and generally quite sensitive emotionally. You could choose to let her believe in her dream a bit more, and if she takes steps to put any plans into action with public singing, a group or solo..."the world" will let her know pretty quick, if she can sing or not.
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You can begin by saying that she has various talents such as (for example since I don.t know her) sports or academic. Then allow her to ask you what point you are making. "Well I appreciate your honesty with me- can I be honest with you?" "ok..." "don't get me wrong but I don't know that singing is your thing- but I'm not an expert- I'm just trying to give you advice" since there is no easy way to tell her you might want to use a different way then I said but make sure to be honest. One time I didn't give my friend the honest truth about her singing and she decided to sing in front of people and well next thing I know a bunch of people are talking about her and she is like really close to tears- I felt really bad about it. don't make the same mistake
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My younger sister isnt that great a singer either...my whole family has told her.
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Buy her some singing lessons as a present for her birthday. That looks more positive and might help her reach her goals.
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Just tell her, but make sure you stress that it's just your opinion.
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You have to trust she is an intelligent human being and will sense it. This might be a great opportunity for her to pick the sincere appreciation from the mixed messages sent out of out of curtsy only. If it appears going out of hand you can tell her the best possible way as suggested by other respondents.
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Don't tell her. Let her keep singing the way she does. What would it accomplish if you told her. It would only make her feel bad. Maybe she would come to the conclusion herself later but for now, let her have her singing. It makes her happy.
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If she enjoys it, what's the harm? She will probably figure it out on her own one of these days and there's no sense in making her less confident at this impressionable age.
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With my sister it was the Sound of Music, she would play it over and over and sing along. How do you solve a problem like Maria? (her middle name is actually Marie), Well I moved out. The only time my brother ever hit a girl, he was studying for exams and she was in the next room screeching about the hills being alive with the sound of music, refused to shut it down. A couple of decades later, my brother passed on. My sister wanted to sing at the funeral. I couldn't believe my mother was actually going to let her. Well, it was so good that I had to force myself not to clap (you don't usually clap at funerals). She'd been practicing over the years. Is a teacher now, does the annual production, this year Chicago, last year Grease, both daughters tried out for Idol, one made it to the celebrity judging. LET THE GIRL SING!!! (and get your self some headphones)
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Don't. You could hurt her feelings on the subject of singing and ultimately damage your relationship with her. Let her sing her little heart out off-key and at crazy pitches. Unless she's due to go onstage in front of 1,000 people tomorrow, it shouldn't matter. And in any event she IS due onstage tomorrow, it STILL shouldn't matter because you're her sister/ brother and should love her regardless of her singing capabilities-or lack thereof...
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Dont tell her she cant sing, because you dont want to turn her off of it. I go to a club frequently that has karaoke. It is so much fun, and there are those that really cant sing, myself included, that love to sing. Those that can sing put up with us because they know it is a passion. I sing with my CDs in the car, the radio, sitting here listening to youtube videos, etc... I know I am not going to make a living at singing, but I love it. Your sister maybe the same way. Let her sing her little heart out. And you might be surprised at what a couple of years can do for a voice. If she is twelve, her voice will change somewhat between now and 20. It wont change as dramatically as a boys voice, but it will come around. Dont judge her singing voice until she has come around physically. You could help her immensely by encouraging her and supporting her.
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You don't do that - at best you give her suggestions for improving.
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Put her on American Idol®, they'll tell her !
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Do not tell directly. Instead take her to someone who is experienced with music and vocals like a choir master or a music teacher and let them give their opinions. If that fails take her to an American Idol audition and let the judges handle the dirty work.
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Don't tell her because it would obviously hurt her feelings. Someone else will when the time comes if she is as bad as you think.
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Why should you tell her? Let her do what she wants. I started singing seriously when I was 11, and I wasn't great- though at the time I thought I was. Nobody ever told me I was terrible, because that would have crushed my dreams. If she finds this to be what she loves, don't put her down for it. But you don't have to tell her she's amazing either. If she asks, say something in relation to what she was trying to do. If she was trying to hit a note, and you could tell it was totally and completely off, tell her something like "You need to continue working on it, but you're getting there." So you're not telling her she's bad, but you're not telling her she's good either. That's what everyone did to me, and now I realize it, haha. But now I'm also a lot better, so I realized how much I wasn't great back then. And she will too, if she takes it seriously. She'll see it in time.
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Don't break her singing spirit. There is something magic about children enjoying things freely. If it is difficult for you to hear her singing - try ear plugs. In my church choir, there are quite a few adults who "cannot" sing - I have a very hard time with that as I have perfect pitch and hypersensitivity issues. However, they are full of enthousiasm, love music and give the very best they have to offer every week. They sometimes sound awful to my ears, but they do give a beautiful gift.
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Don't tell her. I heard Crystal Gayle when she was about that age, and she was awful! Something changed. Maybe your sister will, too. When she's rich, maybe she'll let you wash her Rolls.
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don't tell her! Let her sing if she enjoys is- she's only 12 for goodness sake!
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Did you ever suggest her to either record herself (audio and/or video) in order to help her make some adjustments to improve her performance, just like singers do? When she hears or views herself, she may realize more than she expected but at least, it will not come from someone else and her feelings will not be hurt by the comments of others. Also, this will prevent her from receiving negative or harsh reactions when singing in public.
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You don't. You help her become better.
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