I gave a pretty nice gift to a co-worker/friend for her wedding and now one month after the vows, she has left him. Should they return the gifts?
by 
Just Penrod
ANSWERS: 8
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I think it would definitely be correct of them to return their gifts. If they choose not to, if I were you I wouldn't ask for it, though. I can understand your upset!
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I think that would be the ethical thing to do.
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It would be ethical, but it may not be practical. This probably isn't what you want to hear, but after I sent off the thank you cards for my wedding gifts I can't honestly say I remember who gave what. Even if your friend wants to return the gifts, that might not be as easy at it seems! It may also prove difficult emotionally for her. Once you give a gift, it's gone. You didn't give it with the expectation of it being returned.
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I personally would return the gifts, but it's not the "normal" thing to do. I look at it this way: If I gave a gift for a wedding, then I shouldn't expect to see it again even if the relationship didn't work out. I don't spend lots of money on wedding gifts unless it's a family member. You never know what's gonna happen!
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When you give a gift, it is assumed that you are giving freely and without condition. However, If you were to expect that gift back on a condition (i.e. if the marriage doesn't work out) you should have stated this at the time of the giving and before the acceptance from the receiver. Then the receiver would have had the choice not to accept the gift from you. In a contract, terms and conditions should be stated before acceptance. If the condition was stated then yes, they should return the gift to you. If not, then no they are not oblidged to return the gift. They are free to return it, keep it, discard it, destroy it, donate it to charity, do with it as they choose as the item is their property and you hold no claim to it.
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They might have had a spat, but are staying together. If you just got married, a one month isn't enough time to leave; aren't you still paying off the reception? ;) jk
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A gift should be given freely and without expectations. To ask for them back is a HUGE no-no. They don't have to return them. I would, but I'm weird.
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They should give back the gifts, but you have no right to expect them to.The etiquette for you doesn't match up to the etiquette for them. As many people have mentioned, once you give a gift, it's gone and they may do with it as they please. In their case, in the event that a marriage is called off, they should return any gifts that they have not used. However, there is one thing to note: they DID get married, which is the occasion for which you gave the gift. Either way, a marriage has just ended. I hope you will be supportive of your friends, rather than overly focused on recouping your investment.
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