Yesterday, she and I were watching TV, laying together on the couch. She initiated sex, which lasted 10 minutes, and I wasn't "completed." Last night, we took a sexy shower together. After we cleaned and shaved etc... she started stroking me, and after ten minutes, asked me to take over for a bit. I did, and I asked her to Dance around in a sexy way. She refused entirely claiming she didn't want to because she's look weird doing it. Well, we discussed for a few minutes, and I was ready to go to bed. Once in bed, she refused to "finish the deed." I was fuming mad, and after she fell asleep, I went into the living room to sleep on the couch. I tried to fall asleep, but couldn't and for some reason, I wrote her an email that stated how hurt I was. I wasn't as nice or polite as I should have been, and I definately should have been more tactful in some of the things I said. Well, she's pissed now, and we'll both be getting home from work in about 6 hours. I was hoping somebody might have some good advice on what I should do to express how trully sorry I am. Flowers and a card, a babysitter and a night out, let her go out with the girls, I'm stumped. I don't think I've ever done something this stupid. Please help!

A sincere apology works wonders

O.O flowers will work saying your sorry making dinner might help going out for a night and getting a babysitter that would be nice you know all the nice things be sweet to her and all that tell her you love that might help alot

I'm not sure what your wife likes, but I would probably appreciate you dropping the kids off somewhere for a few hours and making dinner, along with a bunch of flowers and some nice chocolates. And an apology. You probably shouldn't initiate sex either, you have to at least pretend to be sincerely ashamed of yourself :) Discussing your preferences and desires is a good thing, something you shouldn't be afraid to do. But doing it during sex and writing a tactless email right after the incident is where you went badly wrong.

tell her you were a total idiot and are terribly sorry,and then she is more important than sex(which she should be) and buy her flowers and take her out to dinner and keep buying her gifts that you know she'd like, until she cools down, and tell her you were all wrong, and she was right, and tell her you never should have gotten mad, and never should have slept on the couch.

The sincere apology and a regretful tone. Don't be defensive, that will probably get her hackles up. I do however feel bad for you. The whole thing seems pretty unfair. Sorry to hear you are having troubles Josh :(

So she keeps starting things but being unable to finish them? Loves you, wants you, but loses oomph? Did she get to come, the night before, when you didn't or did it fizzle out for both of you? Did you even ask? Thing is, you men are supposed to be psychic. You are supposed to know exactly when to put all self gratification to one side and ask your lady if she's alright, because you love, live and breathe her so much, you have noticed a worried or tired look about her. Trust me, I've pulled that one. Sometimes we girls don't know how to 'say' a thing because it makes us feel selfish or like we're making a fuss or starting a war, so we keep throwing it in your face in bizarrely cryptic ways, waiting for you to ask, instead. You didn't ask her if something was worrying her when she quit on you and gave you the reigns last night - instead you asked her to do something that made her feel self conscious and not enough for you 'as is'. Tell her she's beautiful. Tell her it wouldn't tie you up in knots like this if you weren't so totally attracted to her; so 'in lust' with her as well as in love. Tell her she means more to you than getting your end away. And then ask her what you can do to make her smile. Good luck.

Send her flowers with a simple message. Then later on, talk to her and ask her how you can make up for the mistake. To prevent further issues about this, you guys need to get more creative with your sexytimes.

Well for my honest opinion I think that even if you were a bit rude when trying to get your point across she needs to realize that you have needs too. I also feel that she should be completely comfortable around you in everything that she does! That is part of marriage... I think that you should go to her and tell her that you are sorry for being rude but not sorry for telling her how you feel. Let her know that you don't like being left hanging like that. I think she will come around and things will get better... after they get better I would say surprise her with a babysitter and a night out... When you do things like that for no reason it means way more than doing it to apologize.

ok, couple of things im gathering from her bahavior. She is stroking you, but doesnt want sex. what this means is....she wants your affection and for some reason feels that you are only willing to give her affection if its in a sexual manner. Are you balancing affection and sex? Many woman take a lot of offense to a man who only shows attention to her when he wanst sex. be cautious os this and give her genuine affection, that isnt leading to sex. also, during sexual activity is the worst time to try and push her into a sex act that she doesnt want. If there is something you want that you are unsure if she will, approach the subject another time. If this is something she deosnt want, NEVER try to force it on her. this will turn her against sex altogether. As for the imbalance in sex drives, to a degree, this is normal, but seems a bit exreme in your case. I get the feeling that she may think she is only kept around as a sex toy, and this, you need to fix asap. Remmeber- balance sex and real affection.

What excactly what in the email? Just apologize.. Tell her youre hormones stepped in and you where stupid. Take the whole blame and im sure it will be fine. After all she is your wife you should be able to be forgiven for stuff like that.. Even if it takes a day or so.

Well, first of all, never push that "Send" button until you have thought long and hard about what you are sending. And emails to someone you live with seem, well, wrong. Communication that marriage experts push on us all the time is more about sitting down and talking about stuff than about emailing! When she gets home, sit her down, look her square in the eye, and say "I'm so sorry". Ask HER what you can do to make it up to her. Our answers could be on the mark or far off the mark. Her answer should be the only one that really matters. Good luck - I know it can get pretty darn chilly in that doghouse!

After reading your answer, I think there is plenty of blame to go around on both sides. There is no reason why you don't have the right to express being hurt. However, I would be pretty hurt if my husband went to strangers on the internet to solve a problem that should be between us. Now thousands of strangers know exactly what happened in the intimacy of your bedroom last night, and that place belongs just to the two of you. You both need to talk about this. To have a good sex life, you need to be sensitive to one another's needs and you can't be afraid to talk about what you like or don't like. You need to ask her why she felt the way she did and you need to express why you felt the way you did. You need to come to a resolution that you are both comfortable with. I wouldn't go with a night out or a night with the girls. You two need to talk. I'd go for a night in where you cook or get take out from her favorite restaurant.

...not to worry! During my "tours of duty" (married three times now), I've been in the doghouse so many times--I've got my own food and water dish!!!! Try SINCERE apologies, learn from your past mistakes, and hope for the best. Remember, love conquers all! Good luck!

Whoa! Josh! I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier, feel like I let you down here. Well, first off, it's good that you let some of your feelings out and cleared the air. I mean, okay, maybe you weren't very diplomatic about it, but let's face it, there are things that needed to be said. You aren't getting your needs met right now. That much is clear. I just hope counseling will help. I think she's not trying as hard as she could with this. Maybe it's because of what happened to her. Probably because of that. But it needs fixing.

If you feel a little guilty write a short letter in caligraphy on nice paper take her out to eat somewhere nice, get up and go to the bathroom leaving her the letter. Don't be long, when you get back you should have things to talk about...just don't put something in the letter that will piss her off or you could end up with marinara in you lap.. TC