ANSWERS: 8
  • i dont think its wrong to think about an ex husband or ex wife because at one time they would have been a big part of your life,so you are going to have some good memories. if you still care about them as a friend i dont think this is wrong either because its hard to just switch your feelings off. we wouldnt be the people we are today if we didnt have a past. if i split with my bf i know i would never forget him because he as been part of me for 10yrs and there is no way i could just forget all the good and sometimes bad memories we have had together. i dont think there is anything wrong thinking of the past because its part of who you are.
  • No, it's not wrong. As has been mentioned, they were a major part of your life and you don't need to wipe it out of your memory. There is no law that says that divorced people have to hate each other's guts for the rest of their lives. There was probably animosity, conflict, etc, during the break-up and for some time afterwards, but if you have moved on, don't feel bad about remembering the good times or wishing the other person well. Think of the old relationship like the relationship you had with a friend or family member who has passed away - just because they are no longer physically in your life, that doesn't mean that you never think about them ever again and remember them fondly when you think of the good things you used to share. As the question says, the parties have moved on, maybe to new relationships; hopefully, the new relationships are with people who are more compatible and you will not end up separating/divorcing. There are no guarantees, but every relationship we have is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and what we want in life.
  • It isn't wrong. I don't know about anyone else, but as acrimonious as my divorce was, it surprised me that such thoughts managed to occur at all but they did. It's perfectly natural considering that you slept, ate, lived with, shared your hopes, dreams, and disappointments with that person every single day. Certain places, songs, and other things tend to trigger such feelings too. It caught me off guard many times to have such nice thoughts. You once loved that person enough to marry them after all. Then you remember WHY you divorced them and it goes away :)
  • It is very normal and healthy. He/she was part of your life and not all the memories could have een bad.
  • my wife left 10 years ago and not a week goes by when i dont think of her , we are divored and have not seen or heard from her for all tese years , my feelings are still strong a nd i still love her , but i do find it hard to build a relationship because of the love i still have . its aa if im betraying her even togh it has been this long , surely this is not healthy ??
  • I don't think it's right or healthy to think of your e-wife/ex-husband when you're engaged in a relationship, because you should focus on your new chapter in your life rather than keep going back from the past. What benefit you'll gain from thinking about the good old days with your ex- when everything is over!!!! I think people who still think about their ex need to see a psychiatrist/councelor becasue they still stuck with that feelings that can't let GO!!!!They need to move on with their life and focus on the new chapter, just like reading a book you can't keep reading it backwards or going back to the last chapter unless you really didn't know or understand what you've just read!! These type of people are confused and mentally disturbed by their past memories!!!!!
  • I still think of my ex husband and i am good friends with him now. it took some time and i was in a bad marriage and also he was abusive to me. I have moved on and what not and we can talk about anything now and it is better off. I am divorced from him also. I do love him and I think I always will. He is/was a part of my life. I will always care for him as well. it is more of a best friend love now.
  • Its not wrong to still think about your ex unless you are letting yourself completely obsess. You probably are obsessing if you are thinking about the ex everyday. Sounds like you may have some extra time on your hands... ever thought about volunteering?

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