Find someone else who would give you what you need!

You have to ask him and find out what or why he is holding back. Doesn't seem or sound right that he can simply say "soon" and something (or someone) is the real reason for not having sex.

I once knew a couple who had their own rule: if one party wasn't willing to give it up, the other had the right to seek resolution elsewhere! It seemed to work for them, despite being extremely unconventional. I don't know if I would go that far, but a year is a long time to wait. Sounds like he's just lost all interest and this is a permanent situation. So... you need a long-term solution. I see 4: 1- Give up sex yourself. 2- Have a secret affair. 3- Have a "non-secret" affair (tell him about it) 4- Leave him. All of these have their disadvantages, and nobody can tell you what to do, that's your job. But if I were in your shoes, I would think hard about who I am, what my values are, and what the consequences are for each choice. You can't do better than that getting advice from strangers, you're the one steering your ship.

Get a boyfriend.

A date rape drug is fairly effective in seducing a person. Just force sex on him and when he wakes up say, "soon wasnt fast enough hun".

Have you ever had sex with him? If so, what happened? Are you prepared to live in a sexless marriage? For some people it's not a big deal, but if it is for you, then you need to do something about it. Not having sex for an entire year indicates a fairly serious issue. I am pretty sure he knows what's going on with him, have you talked to him seriously about this issue? If he won't talk to you, maybe he would be willing to go to counseling to address this problem (and it IS a problem - if not for him, then for you). It's possible that he's gay (sorry, but that happens), it's possible that he has contracted an STI that he doesn't want to tell you about, it's possible that he has some health issue - whatever is going on he's likely hiding something from you - that's what my gut says. If you have never had sex with him since the marriage, then it could be annulled if you want to move on with your life. Personally i could not live in a sexless marriage. Good luck to you

Whats your number, maybe I could call you personally and we could talk about it in more detail.

Hire yourself a gigolo

Try doing it to yourself and have him walk in on you and if that doesnt work then I think you should talk to him and find out his reasoning for not wanting to

There's not enough info here to say much so I'll ask question: Could he be depressed? That's a common cause of large sexual changes. Could he be having an affair? Have you gained or lost significant weight or otherwise changes your appearance? Have you started a new job or other activity that takes up a lot of your time? Has he? Are you sure that sex in the past included things he liked, including variation? (I don't mean to imply that sex has to be just "about him" - it shouldn't be. But I'm wondering if he could simply have gotten bored with what you two were doing.) And lastly, I will suggest for you... Buy re-chargeable batteries. +5

Couple Counseling, Male Libido Enhancer, Libido Herbs, or a Sexy lingerie may help....Good luck!

I think your husband my not want to admit this but he might have erctile dysfunction. You really want to have sex ,but you just can't. you should make an appointment for him to see a Urologist. Things should get better from there..Good Luck.. Fox700

What is his reasoning behind this?

I was in a very similar situation for 10 yrs. This is not the only reason but it was a big factor in the breakdown in our relationship and she is now my ex.. I have since met someone else and I am having the time of my life... Only you can decide when you have had enough and either you have to be happy with the way the relationship is, get a bf, or walk away.

This is called 'loss of consortium' during a divorce proceeding, I believe. Sex is a part of marriage. A lot of spouses use that as a ground for divorce. Give him a realistic time limit. A month should be plenty. If its not, you need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about why he doesn't want to have sex. If you can't find a solution, perhaps you will need to look elsewhere or get a divorce. If he is simply unable to perform, maybe he'll let you sleep with someone else.

I'm affraid he has something hiden, ED or stress or perhaps a girl fried. Things still can be fixed. The symptom of a man having affair sometime is so good, he is more attentive and loving to his wife for "guilty feeling". May be that's why you think you have great relationship. Better find the truth than living a lie.

I would be tired of waiting but i am just a person who loves sex with the right person. when a man tells you soon he has to be having a hidden agenda for sex. Men are sexual creatures

It could be he is putting you off for various reasons, many of which were brought up by fellow ABers. I highly suggest he see his physician and have testosterone levels drawn. Also the sexual enhancement pills such as Cialis, Levitra, Viagra, etc., are there for this reason. Unfortunately, more and more men (in their 20s and 30s even) are falsely stating lack of stamina, difficulty maintaining an erection, lack of sexual desire just to obtain these meds. Yes, they now being abused for recreational purposes (bedroom marathons/sexual acrobats, etc). In the meantime, there are various "toys" to help relieve your sexual tension. They can be habit forming and could very easily and quickly become the best sex of your life. The sad part of using those is that for many women, they take away from the bonding aspect that sexual intercourse with one's partner can provide. Bottom line: Let hubby know that it's an extremely common occurence and that healthy young men are even lying to their physicians hoping to get their hands on the "sexual enhancement" meds. Perhaps he will see it as less embarrassing to ask and more of a trend? Gosh I hated saying that! I hope this helps.

He may have a medical problem and be too embarrassed to talk about it. I would ask him if he needs to see a doctor. That may make him angry, but something is wrong either physically or psychologically and needs to be addressed. He simply could be tired as well. Disease like diabetes can cause impotence; blood pressure issues can cause impotence; all kinds of vascular issues. Only a doctor can diagnose him. Seeking an affair is not the answer. You could ruin your marriage and hurt your husband deeply, destroying both of you.

As is mine. But thats always because both of us choose the wrong times, either I dont want to, or he doesnt. Anywho, does he show any attraction to you at all? If not you may want to ask him if hes having an affair and if he says no and truly looks insulted, then you tell him you only asked because he doesnt show that hes attracted to you. Or you may even ask if he wants a divorce, he may be to scared to ask. For awhile when I was pregnant and for about 2 months after, my s/o wouldnt, all he wanted to do was spend time with the baby, so baby and I took a little vacation to my mothers house. And when he decided to show up I ignored him, he got the point, now its equal time between us. But now theres the issue of timing, haha. Good luck, hope it works out for you.

Your husband sounds like me. He just wants to know you like him for him, not just for his body. I read some of your comments, too, so yeah. My boyfriend and I have this issue, but, well, we're not married. Still, though, we have it. His way of getting sex with me was only really ever talking about it and that contributed to me feeling like that was all he wanted from me. I just wanted him to show me that it wasn't all he wanted from me, though, and to notice other things and to just talk to me, and not just about sex stuff. I'm sure he loves you. It sounds like it. You also sound like a sweet and thoughtful person. Perhaps you should go about getting sex differently, though. People like us don't like it if it feels forced. We want to know we're wanted for more than our bodies and we want proof. How do you show proof? You notice and appreciate other things we do.

Honey get naked, its that time of year, handcuffs always help the situation. :-)

I really don't have that type of problem. I can't give you any ideas. Spicy Hot has a good idea though.

Get him to see a doctor. This could be a sign of something serious, such aa prostitis or prostate cancer.

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