That's a tough one. I would ground her, not letting her go anywhere except school. Then let her have friends over, this way she'll forge relationships with people who don't get high. Good luck, teenagers are made to make us crazy.

Really make her explain WHY she shouldn't do it. I mean if i was doing it, I'd obviously know I'm doing wrong, but not understand the full extent of where I'm going wrong. Do some research on the net e.g. on where just her smoking marijauna can lead to bigger more addictive worse off drugs. (Print this off to her and make her go through it with you) Ask her, if she would allow her children to do this? Ask her to put herself in your position as a mother. Educate her. Let her know that there will be consequences for which she has done, than lay them down e.g. no longer trusting her. looking through all her stuff and searching to see if there is any more marijuana, and if there is taking it away. I would place less emphasis on this point: to let her know the label that is attached to people who do this. Lastly let her know how this has made you feel. & that it's not easy stopping but you'll be there to support her.

You could try restricting her activities and make her build your trust again. Also do random drug tests on her. When she passes cleanly make sure to praise praise praise. Tell her how proud you are that she is respecting herself enough to stay clean. Do something special for her for staying clean for a long time. Sometimes kids do drugs just to impress friends. If they have a way to get out of it by saying "Man I would love to join but my Mom drug tests me." Then they can get out of it without feeling like a "loser" under peer pressure. Make sure the tests are random because there are many ways to fool the tests. Most importantly have open and honest conversations with her. If you dabbled in your youth be honest about it. She needs to know that you are not looking down on her but you are concerned for her.

You didn't mention how old your daughter is which makes this kind of hard to answer, but I think it'd be easier to have a sit down and talk to her about the effects of smoking ANYthing. The real question that should be the deal breaker is, "Why are you smoking it in the first place? What does it DO for you?" We all know that there's no benefit to smoking marijuana- much less anything else. If she can't answer this question seriously and just gives the infamous "I don't know," then it should be easy to punish her and ensure her that she WON'T be doing it anymore. The drug is, in fact, illegal so bringing up the dangers that she could get herself into might shake her up some at the thought of doing jail time just to get high. You could even make up a story of an "old friend" of yours from highschool that got in trouble for smoking. Good luck with that, teenagers are creative, she probably won't make it easy. The best thing to remember is that YOU are the mother, YOU'RE the enforcer- no matter what she says :)

A good mix of suggestions from all of you. I have learned in disciplining this strong willed child - what works and what doesn't. For more background, she is 17 and diagnosed ADD when she was 14. Prior to that we had behavior that is consistent with ADD children - risky behavior. She is also suffering from depression and anxiety. She is on an anti-depressant - started taking ADD meds. at 14 but didn't like the effect on her - made her feel sad and withdrawn (she is very outgoing). School has been going down hill since the end of middle school. She is now going to high school and it is our last alternative for her (at this point we're just trying to keep her in school). She has decided to take Adderall to help her concentrate at school and then claims that marijuana helps her come down. I have been to the internet and printed out info and talked to her about the physical and mental consequences as well as the fact that it is illegal. If she is arrested for possession - she faces the consequences. I will add that she is basically a good kid making bad choices right now. We live in an affluent area where kids have the money for drugs and parents with blinders on. Our daughter has a part time job and is required to buy gas for her car. I constantly pray for wisdom and for God to protect her. I have made it very clear to her what this is doing to me emotionally and how it hurts to see her hurting herself. I appreciate any further input you have. Thanks!

I'm sure I'm going to get rated waaay down for this, but here goes anyway. Marijuana is not a "dangerous drug". The only really bad thing it has going for it is the fact that it's illegal. It's also got a bad rap as being a "gateway" drug - opening up the door for people to start using hard drugs - simply because it's the drug that most people try first (it's cheaper and easier to get a hold of than cocaine, heroin, meth, etc). Not everyone is going to go on to use harder drugs, either, just because they have tried smoking marijuana. I'd suggest explaining to your daughter how to be responsible with her marijuana use and allowing her to continue ocassional use at home (hey - it's better than having her lie to you about where she's going so that she can smoke pot and get busted, isn't it?). The fact of the matter is, she's already decided that she's going to smoke. You forbidding it is only going to make her want to do it even more (to spite you for not respecting her decisions or understanding her point of view). Principles of Responsible Cannabis Use http://www.norml.org/index.cfm?Group_ID=3417

My honest truth is that.. I have never seen any one of my friends stop smoking pot just because their parents caught them or because their parents grounded them Unless they have only tried it a few times There is only one way to be positive is to violate their privacy or keep them in the house for the rest of their lives--other than that you have to trust them maybe inform them on exactly what it does to you and how it can affect your health that might motivate them to stop ..good luck

i don't see, personily wut is wrong with it. do you drink thats even worse maybe you should leave her alone it could be worse

You will need to sit down with her and set some limits and accountability proceedures that neither of you will like. She will not like them for obvious reasons. You will not for three main reasons: 1) She is going to call you things that hurt you. 2) It is going to take a lot of effort and attention. 3) You are going to feel "mean" and grieve the loss of your trusting relationship with her. Tell her that you are doing this because you love her. She will act like she doesn't believe you, but don't get flustred. She knows now or will know later. Don't expect that she will see the logic of your reasoning, but give it to her anyway - once or twice. After that, revert to the old adages like, "because I said so," and "when you are on your own, you can make your own decisions about these thing, but for now, I am responsible for you and these are the rules." Ask her if there are things going on in her life that she needs to talk about. Be sensitive to the inner turmoils that may be causing her to rebel. Do not do this as a substitute for discipline and acountability, but as a complement to them. Faciliatate her talking to someone she can trust and open up to if she is willing. Keep loving her and don't give up. Also, do not lose your resolve. You have my prayers and encouragement.

Because we dont know her age, its difficult to make a suggestion. If kids smoke it due to peer pressure, sadly that is normal just to experiment. But if she is using every day, I suggest rehab. I put my son in at 15yrs old, it began to take its toll on his school work, memory and attitude. Good Luck

I think it's difficult to stop her from doing it if she really wants to, I would completly disagree with the advice to restrict her/ ground her/ check up on her etc. If you do those things she is so much more likely to rebel against your authority and do it more, get more in with 'the bad crowd', sneak out, or learn how to hide it from you. If she's grounded except for school, shes more likely to skip school, or be high in school. I'm 17 myself and have smoked solid 3 times, and weed once. After that i didn't do it any more, i wanted to know what it was like, and decied MYSELF that it was stupid, and the weed made me very depressed. I smoked it these few times becasue I WANTED TO. I was never pressured, it wasn't even particularly readily available, and most of my friends don't do it. I wanted to know what it was like, and wasn't doing it to be rebelious. I had nothing to prove by doing it, continuing it, or stopping it. So it was very easy for me to stop. My mum is very accepting of things like this, I'm pretty sure she's aware of the fact i've done it, but she never got cross about it. When i was younger she admitted to trying it once, throwing it up, and never doing it again. She said she hoped i would never make the same mistake, but wouldn't be suprised if i did. This meant that it was completely my loss if i chose to do it, and it wouldn't be hurting her. (The harder you push a teenager in one direction, the hardr they will push the other way.) I go out to parties and get drunk, however, becasue my mum is so laid back, i don't feel the need to hide it from her, so she would be aware if it did start to become a problem. (If you get to a position where your daughter is hiding it from you, you will never know if it gets out of hand) I understand it is difficult to see your daughter doing something which you know is dangerous, however, no-one has ever died directly from taking cannabis. If it's only something she does occasionally, in a safe place, with friends she trusts and she doesn't feel that she needs to carry it on, or she will be 'giving in to you' (I can't stress this enough) she will probably work through it, and realise it's something she doesn't need to do. If however, you are open with each other (this depends on how your relationship is with her at the moment, my mum knows EVERYTHING about me, and i honestly believe our relationship is like this becasue she treats me like a friend and equal, and i know i can go to her about anything, without her freaking out. Actually, this means i think about thins more carefully, becasue i don't want to dissapoint her, rather than hiding it, i don't do it.)you will be able to see if it becomes a problem. If you notice she needs to smoke everyday, or she is using other drugs, it's imparing her schoolwork etc, then you are in a much better position to say to her that you are worried, and get her help. Please don't come down on her to hard, the more alienated she is, the more she will do the things you don't want her to. Be accepting, be her friend and let it be known that even though you don't support it,if she ever gets into trouble, you will be there to help her without being cross, because her safety and happyness are the most important things to you.

As a smoker myself - I would tell her the negatives.. acknowledge that it may make her feel good, and fit in... but here is the flip side Never having any money - how can she look good if she spends all her money on drugs (you can't afford clothes, makeup, hairstyling) Not being able to communicate with others about your life as you know smoking is not really acceptable to general people that you meet - so it is isolating you to hang out only with other people that take drugs - no promise of future there. You can't remember anything - if she has any aspirations school wise - it will be much harder to achieve them when you have no motivation to learn and can't remember it anyway. People surrounding her who will be taking drugs will be erratic for her to get along with, the drugs that they take may make then violent or very hard to speak to - no fun in friends like that. I hope that helps a bit. Good luck

As a parent I have come to feel that I cannot condone my daughter smoking an illegal drug under any circumstances. There must be another way for her to cope with the Adderall and hopefully I will find what that answer is and be able to share it with her. I think what most teens don't understand when they're going through this "phase" is that they could have the gene that causes them to become addicted. They don't know until they use it and are taking a big risk. Actually taking the risk is probably what it's all about. I think being a teen ager in todays society must be pretty hard. Mostly I will love her just as she is and love her enough to want to see her change and not stay where she is. Thanks!

people at my school dont give a damn about adults or parents - if you've seen the film battle royale, the japnese/chinese one you'll get an idea of where im going - i respect my elders where most people dont and the only way to get through to them is to threaten them. Now i dont mean everyone but i used a gun as an example - it doesnt have to be real or loaded - just use a fake one and that would scare them - that is if they dont listen to you!! My dad used to use a belt as a threat if i wouldn't listen but my brother was the worst one. we were never hit extreme just a tap to send the message through. so back to your daughter - if you say "this drug can or will kill you can you do you not understand what im saying - your life is threatened with this drug - theres so much things you should look forward to but if you keep going the way you are i'd have to berry you coz you would have died of it." Now dont use this speech if it doesn't sound right but if you could go along the lines of it just to get her to understand! you''l know she'll be listerning coz she'd go quite, or would nod her head, or shed look at you when you talk. i hope you for the best and im sorry my first answer was miss leading!

Keep it in perspective. Teenagers are inherently rebellious and maybe this is her way of rebelling. There are worse things she could do, like getting pregnant. There are also far worse drugs out there than marijuana; crack and even the legal drugs (alcohol and tobacco) are far more dangerous. Treat it as a phase she is passing through, and remember she will change as she grows up. Your relationship is more important at the end of the day and you mustn't do anything that will destroy the trust between you. Treat her with love and understanding and I'm sure you and she will weather the storm. Good luck!

I have basically done all of what you have suggested. I have ordered a drug test as well (not sure how that will go over). At least we have been able to have open dialogue about this. As I told soneone else, I love her just as she is but also love her enough to want to see her change and not stay where she is. I think as a parent I have to make a stand and not waiver. We have always taught her that using drugs is wrong and allowing her to use Marijuana under any circumstance will not be tolerated. We have let her know about the consequences if she gets caught (loss of car, legal ramifications, etc.). Most importantly, I pray for her everyday that she will make good choices and that God will give her the strength to do that. Thanks!

In a recent clinical study, it has been proven that marijuana not only damages the human brain, now it has been linked to lung cancer. She is a teenager and this info. will mean nothing to her. in one ear and out the other. I have tried the following and it has worked in about 10% of the cases: Tell your daughter you are about to be arrested, for contributing to a minor, if she does not quit smoking pot. that until she turns 18, you are responsible for her health, education, roof over her head and food. you are not actually responsible for her pot smoking, but the words just might scare her into quitting. If this does not work, call the police and make a report for simple possession, concerning your daughter. you may be asked to sign a petition and a warrant for her arrest. yes, this is dramatic. sometimes, teenagers need a jolt to get their attention. a one-nite stay in juvenile court does wonders for many kids. her record can be expunged, at a later date. Good luck and do not give up. If she loves you, this will hit home.

I did this in high school and if my parents found out I wouldn't have been given access to the marijuana because I would not have ever been let out of the house except to go to school. Yes, some kids these days can and do do it right in school, but the school I went to I do not think anyone could have gotten away with it. I am not saying to lock her away, but don't reward her for doing this by letting her have her freedom. Smoking weed is very serious and can screw up your life, maybe not to the extent that other drugs can. I honestly think no matter what you try to teach her about the dangers of what she is doing is going to go in one ear and out the other...after all wasn't she taught in school since she was very little that doing drugs is bad? I really believe that you need to find the sources and cut them out of her life. If you have to ground her and let her have no freedom then so be it. It's better than having her arrested, or worse get hooked on more serious stuff.

She won't. Sorry. It had to be said. As one other poster said above me, you will need to lay some ground rules about its use. 1) Never in the house and it cannot be kept in the house. Social smoking only. 2) Never drive on it or anything else. You will come get her at any time of the day or night rather than see her attempt to drive on any substance legal or illegal. 3) Never get involved in the commerce angle. No selling. 4) Never in school. 100% clear-minded while in school or you WILL ship her off to a special school with large gates. Basically permission to party at other people's parties and that's ALL. If she learns to trust you then you will know she is always safe. You can also explain about drugs testing in the US. If she wants a job she'll need to pass. Sad but true. Intermittent use is the only way for her to continue her toking ways on your watch.

PERFECT! I'd love to answer this question. Let me involve myself personally, after asking you - 'Is your daughter a good person? Is her heart in the right place?' If she is, your chances of her sorting things out for herself are significantly higher. If theres a loose cannon in the family, well it could be different. It takes alot to go about this the correct way, and i believe my parents were quite good with resolving this situation. I kept the fact that i did weed a secret, when i was 15-16 years old. Infact my parents think i've never smoked (to my knowledge they don't anyway!) and i've always managed to keep it a secret. I think if they had 'found out' it would have made things worse - the number one misconception for why a teenager does something like this is that they're trying to be someone they're not - WRONG. It's an experiment. To them it seems the perfect idea in the beginning and they'll keep at it. If they're denied it they'll go at it even more. If you haven't told her you know, DON'T. Watch closely what she does but never tell her you know. I did it for a year and in that time i made the conscious decision to stop. Infact, i'm against smoking altogether, and have been since i stopped. The final thing that made me stop DEAD was MSN Today (News page) came up on my computer one morning and it said "1 Spliff is the equivilent to 28 cigarettes!" It stopped me in my tracks, i proceeded to tell everyone on MSN and i never touched the stuff again. I've become more lax with cigarettes but , i've made my own mind up, without parental guidance. Play it cool, but unfortunately you're going to have to do more work than what will happen otherwise - shouting at eachother. If you disagree with something a teenager does and let them know it, your communication will lower and you'll become inescapeably distanced from them. Thats the WORST thing that you can do! If things get worse, because i personally again, have never touched any substance other than marijuana. (Maybe once but i'm against it actively) If you feel she might have, use the worried mother approach and sit her down and say something like "If you ever took drugs, you'd tell me right? You wouldn't ever take drugs would you?" Again, never admit to knowing. IF, by the way, you have told her that you know, things become a little different. I had a few friends' parents who knew, and got funny about it sometimes, but left them to their own devices - it didn't work, the kids are now on hard drugs and i have nothing to do with them. I think you need to intervene and show that you aren't afraid to call the cops on your own child. Thats only if it gets reaaalll bad though. I know this is a huge essay but i sincerely hope i've helped, i've thought about this question SO many times. Best of luck.

Oops. This was meant to be a comment.

I'm not going to weigh in on this from a "for or against" marijuana viewpoint--that's obviously being done to death here. Instead, I'm going to attack it from a parenting perspective. Parents are ultimately the final authority on how their child is raised. It is for them to decide what they think is right and wrong, and how to translate this to their kids. Unfortunately, they are also a voice among many in the world: media, friends, and various other aspects of our society vie for your daughter's attention--and to a young person eager to find their place and stake their claim in the world, the last person they wish to turn to is the parent. So, what do we do? We have to approach them as if they were an adult--as if they were our peers. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but hear me out. There are many ways which you can steer a conversation in order to make the child understand your point of view, and even come to agree with you--all while seeming permissive to the child. Make the child feel that their input has a chance to sway you towards their side. This will put them in a receptive mood for compromise or reason. So, we have a discussion with the child. We ask a few tough questions and maintain an open mind toward the needs of the child. Hopefully, this will force the child to see your view as well. Why do you want to smoke? How does it make you feel? Why do you think your parents would rather you not smoke? Note the subtle difference between "rather" and "require"--again putting the discussion in the light that your opinion could be swayed. Another tactic that you may approach is sharing any bad experiences you or your spouse may have had with drugs. You may not want your child to know you've had any (if indeed you had) experience with drugs, but once again, we are trying to place the child in a mood that is receptive to reality and reason. On the flip side of things--depending on how educated you are about the use of marijuana--you may decide to work towards some compromise. In just a few short minutes of research on the internet you could read about alternatives in the use of marijuana, the health effects both long and short-term, and any benefits that may exist. You may decide that since you cannot forbid her and realistically expect that command to be followed that instead you will allow limited use with the provision that she use a vaporizer (to limit the lung-health impact) and only once a week at most on the weekends. I understand that that suggestion may be insane to some of you. Of course we won't all have the same approach to this situation--I'm just pointing out one possible alternative. Of course, you should take all the answers here with a grain of salt. I mean, look at the disclaimer down at the bottom of the page: "Important: Answerbag cannot guarantee the accuracy of answers submitted by members, and we recommend that you use common sense when following any advice found here." It's like I said at the beginning. You are ultimately the final authority on how your child is raised. But whatever you do, BE a parent. My mother used similar tactics with me when I was a child, and not only did it sharpen my critical thinking skills, but I even won a few arguments along the line and it made my mom seem more like a wiser, older friend whose got my back than the authoritarian dictators my friends all told me about. Good luck.

I've used drugs and alcohol since I was 16 (over 20 years now). No amount of talking before I started helped, no amount of screaming, talking, begging and intervention stopped the addiction. I got clean and sober when I was ready, when I had had enough, when I reached the point where I wanted to be clean and sober much more than I wanted to be strung out or drunk. (I'm an on again off again addict my periods of use are broken with periods of sobriety) The "problem" is not doing drugs, the problem is that we do more drugs to treat ills which we don't know how to cope with. Teenagers are at risk because being a teenager sucks. Think back Mom to when you were a teenager, the confusion the being a kid and almost, but not quite an adult. Along with the rest of the pressures of fitting in, being cool and pretty much having to figure out now what you are going to be for the rest of your life. If you didn't drink or use pot back then, I bet if you were handed liquid "fun" or a smoking forgetfulness you would have jumped on the chance to escape being a teenager for just a minute. There is something she is trying to find when she is high, something about being high that makes her feel better. The problem is not the drug, the problem is something else and she is using the drug to deny or get away from the problem. Addicts in NA/AA sit around and talk about their lives before, during and after drugs. If you sit there and listen you will see that most of them started using/drinking because they had emotional/mental garbage that they were trying to deal with. Instead of actually working on the garbage pile, they try to bury the garbage under mind altering substances (drugs/drink). Have you ever smoked pot? I'm being serious in that question. If not then you can not relate to her - so all of your clean and sober talk is coming from an empty space. I do not know how willing you are AND I DO NOT SUGGEST DOING THIS WITH OTHER DRUGS - smoke a joint WITH her. Just once (no you won't get hooked on one joint) Again WITH her - you two have a personal party. 1. You will experience what she experiences and you will know the attraction. 2. Pot makes you talkative - meaning you both will open up more with each other. 3. Getting High with Mom will be a really weird trip for her and will most likely cause her to think a lot more about what she doing. 4. Maybe you too will "connect" for a moment and be able to find out the underlying reason why she smokes. You will (if you never smoked pot before) come out of the experience understanding the attraction. Which may make it easier for you to understand the drives and see clearly the other issues in her life so you can work on those.

you could make her watch the episode of south park. they tell it like it is. pot isn't all that bad, but pot makes it okay to be bored. you're bored, you smoke one, you're not bored anymore. and it's when you're bored you should be doing something to improve yourself. read a book, exercize,learn to play an instrument, just do something other than being a dirty pot smoking hippie. god potheads are dumb.

How old is your daughter? She might just realize that its a totally uncool thing to do and grow out of it. I'd just tell her how disappointed you are in her choices and you thought she was smarter then that. If my mommy was disappointed in me like that I would stop..Plus pot makes you entirely Lazy!

Morally your daughter owns her body and therefore is responsible for what she puts in it and what it does to other people as a result. However the stuff is illegal in the US therefore I would say do what you want with your body but don't do it under my roof or on my property. I would say that if you get in trouble then you will suffer the consequences of legal repercussions from the state. I would explain what could happen and that this is not something she will be able to cry home to mommy/daddy about, it is serious and she will be punished by the law. My personal point of view is that marijuana makes you laugh, makes you tired and makes you hungry. It never made me want to hurt people so who cares.

A lot of people just don't think there's anything wrong with using marijuana. It's certainly very helpful to some people who have chronic painful conditions. I've never done it myself, but I know plenty of otherwise-law-abiding, productive members of society who smoke the occassional joint without dropping dead or murdering anybody. I guarantee your daughter probably knows a lot of kids who are considered by adults to be "model students" or just normal kids that secretly use marijuana, and that will probably demolish any argument you try to make about how bad it is for her. But of course while your daughter is a minor and in your custody, you are liable for her actions. Marijuana is illegal, and there can be consequences for both your daughter and you as her parent if she were to be caught. I feel that this is the angle to approach this from. You may know that your daughter would not respond well to an approach emphasizing how BAD and WRONG marijuana is, or at least I'm guessing that from your phrasing of the question. What may be more effective would be for you to let her know that, while in a few years she will be an adult and can do what she wants, right now she is living under your care and she HAS TO FOLLOW THE LAW. If she protests that the law is stupid (and my feeling is that this is arguable), acknowledge that sometimes rules are unfair. But you care about her future and don't want to see her throw that away for a few hours of pleasure. Some actual punishments for posession of marijuana might be useful as well.

pls ignore this. I added it accidentally.

AN UPDATE ON MY DAUGHTER - she was arrested and put in jail for underage drinking a few weeks ago. This to me was actually a good thing. She was traumatized by the experience of being handcuffed and taken to jail where she sat for 5 hours crying. The police called me about 3:30 am to tell me she had been taken to jail - words a mother never wants to hear. We have met with an attorney who told us we needed to get a drug/alcohol evaluation. We did that and it was determined that she does have a drug problem. She was given the choice of going on her own for help or waiting for the courts to decide she had to go. As of this past Monday, she has been placed in an intensive out-patient program and is doing great. She has admitted that she needs help and that she does have a drug problem. This program is allowing her to live at home and she receives 4 hours of counseling a day and must be at 4 evening meetings. She is already developing a great network of friends who are sober and very supportive. The friends she used to smoke with are not being so supportive - they're all afraid she'll "snitch" on them. This is all new to us and we are working through it. I'm thankful she's getting help at 17. I was very worried about what life would be like once she turned 18 and still involved in drugs. My husband and I will be going to a parent meeting once a week for support. I really need it right now. I may start a blog about this. I'll let you know if I do. Thanks!

You can do a little research on all the effects of marijuana, such as addiction and memory/learning impairment (not to mention the fact that it's illegal). At least try to get her to be as safe and responsible as possible with it, and show her that you're still there for her and love her, since rejection can make any problem worse. If she begins to go down the wrong path and lose control there are many rehab and therapy options you can choose.

I wouldnt worry about her smoking grass when the most deadly drugs are avaliable by prescription.the enablers being the American public which tries to make marijuana look dangerous but offer far more dangerous drugs like pain killers and tranquilizers. i would tell her too much of anything is bad and any drug thats manufactored is far more dangerous than any plant.cigarettes in my opinion are far more dangerous than marijuana and i know 65 year olds who smoked the stuff all their natural born life and they are sharp as a tack.so boo hoo to your memory loss wait till your ass gets alzhiemers.

tell her Thank you for Pot Smoking and keep her crack shut

http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/spiritualresearch/mentalhealth/addiction/ You need to go through this website, it really helps.

The law is the law, and your the parent. What kind of example do you set for your own child if you dont obey the law yourself. Getting busted for posession along with all the other charges either of you could face is not worth the risk just for your daughter to have a "different" type of social life. If she's 18 and living under her own roof and providing for herself, then thats her shoulders the responsibility falls on. Not yours. Also i have to say. The myth that people spread around about how smoking marijuana is the gateway to other drugs, well its not a myth. Never have I met a friend that smoked marijuana that did not try another drug or at least looked for a dealer of another type of drug to try.

I have to agree with some of the statements above that talk about the fact that your daughter will never stop if you tell her. Honestly being that age and smoking weed didn't stop me from being a wild child that my mom couldn't handle. What really made me realize is that it isn't my mom or my dad or anyone that's going to help me control my nasty habits, it's going to be me. Although it did take awhile to realize that (and going through alternative school) it's the fact that I knew my parents were there to help me out when I needed them, they were the ones that made me realize that my friends aren't the best thing for me, the school isn't really helping either and another thing was that my boyfriend smoked weed and I thought that by me telling him that he can't do it, controlled my habit, I haven't touched it since. So don't think about what you can do, realize that if your daughter is doing well in school then once her grades slip them maybe that's an indication that you need to analyze things. If I were her and my mother was telling me that I can't smoke weed anymore would be really weird, on top of that would really bother me that she would know, plus it all depends on you and your daughters relationship, if she really wants to make you happy she'll respect the fact that 'okay maybe this isn't the best thing for me'. Just keep your head high and pray that nothing will lead from this. Be positive.

tell her to talk to FRANK

don't allow it but don't lie about it either, if you try to tell her that if she gets caught with marijuana then the police will come and put crime scene tape around your house and confiscate everything you own (like my parents did lol) then she will never believe anything you have to say, tell her, okay its not gonna kill you but driving impaired could, it can keep you out of schools, groups, sports or from getting a job and it is illegal and can cost you a lot of money and state punishment if you get caught, when i was 15 i was put on probation after my stepmother called the cops on me for the bottom of a blunt and i had to pay lot of fines and had a 7 o clock curfew while all my friends were out i also missed my junior prom and couldn't get my license until a year after everyone else, so those are more reasonable reasons not to smoke, plus its not that terrible but it is unproductive and can affect your school work lessen you motivation and is not going to get you anywhere oh yeah don't do what my stepmother did because i later began selling to get out of her house the day i turned 18 and was eventually caught and we currently still have restraining orders on each other

let her smoke a little weed what hert her. my daughter smokes crack

Gannett News Service On a typical weekday, stockbroker Irvin Rosenfeld has a marijuana cigarette before work, then goes to his firm's smoking area for another after he gets to the office. By day's end, he usually has smoked more than a half-dozen joints -- and handled millions of dollars' in clients' holdings. There's nothing illegal about it. Rosenfeld, 54, of Fort Lauderdale, has a condition that causes benign tumors in the long bones of his body. After trying to control pain by taking narcotics such as Dilaudid, he persuaded the U.S. government to put him in a test program that gives marijuana to people with certain illnesses. His pain is now manageable, he says. "I've smoked 10 to 12 marijuana cigarettes a day for 25 years," says Rosenfeld, adding he gets no euphoric effect from the drug. "All my clients know I use it. Without it, I wouldn't be able to work." His firm, Newbridge Securities, supports his use of marijuana and says it hasn't hurt his performance. In Florida, Rosenfeld is an exception to state law that bans marijuana's use in any situation. But at a time when the use of medical marijuana is expanding -- this month, New Mexico became the 12th state to allow it -- the issue is raising a range of ethical and liability questions for employers across the nation. Some companies, wary of marijuana's impact on employee performance, continue to fire those who test positive for the drug, even when its use is sanctioned by their state for medical purposes. Those companies include Columbia Forest Products, a manufacturer of hardwoods based in Oregon, one of the states that allows medical marijuana. Even as the company maintains its zero-tolerance policy toward drug use, it has faced legal action because its company rules conflict with Oregon's medical marijuana law. A few companies, such as Newbridge Securities, have embraced the notion of employees using medical marijuana at work. Meanwhile, there are questions about whether medical marijuana laws would offer any protection to employers if a worker who used marijuana to treat pain wound up injuring others or making a mistake on the job. It's unclear whether such an incident has occurred. "The rights of an employer to ensure productivity and safety around machinery and on the job has to take precedence," says Mark Levitt, a labor and employment lawyer in Tampa. "The use of marijuana has an effect on employees' ability to perform. That's a big concern for employers."

Tell her that weed is O.K. occasionally. However,don't let her smoke that cheap brown crap, the kind that you have to smoke a giant reefer just to catch a nasty fuzz buzz. Buy her some good sensi and explain to her that one or two tokes every once in a while won't kill you. Smoking cheap weed joints will clog your lungs up worse than those nasty cigarettes.

as a marijuana "addict" i can say, you dont have much to worry about. i smoke up to 4 times a day and am still going into collage and doing something with my life. i DO however know, how dangerous that shit CAN be. you have to let her know that you accept her decision, but make sure SHE knows, she cant let that shit controll her life like i did for several years. although it may not be labelled as "addictive" or "dangerous" it still has the potential to be exactly that. as for the whole "gateway" drug. i wouldnt worry. that scheem was simply another effective way for harry j anslinger(drug commissioner back in the day) to get people to stop smoking the herb. his first two reports were that it killed you, or made you criminally insane after one use. all in all, weed has gotten itself a bad name. I would only worry if you notice her grades dropping dramatically.

well, cannibus is an extremly bad way to go imho, but thats just me, its a typical teenage thing to do, but im only 18 myself, ive never seen the point in smoking pot, whats the use?? its a bit of smoke, great fad eh?? weed actually isnt harmless at all, every draw you take on the joint kills around 500,000 brain cells, it also is mixed with tobacco smoke with can cause lung cancer!

Mary Jane isn't a drug at all, its a herb. People smoke it for different reasons, for example. I smoke to calm my nerves, and if my mom catches me thats exactly what I'll tell her. Weed isn't bad for you. It actually can be good for you. It's all the other things you have to be worried about bro. I'm 17 and smoke, but I'll never do other drugs. Drinking is actually more harmful then smoking bud. Sorry if you are not looking for something like this for your answer. But alot of people think weed is bad, and I had to let you know it's not.

Kick her out of the house and don't let her come back until she has stopped smoking. It is bad.

personaly if my mom had throne me inn the street i would have thought twice bout my habit!! moke

its her choice to smoke the thing she did wrong was not telling u about it and atleast shes not doing heavy duty drugs like crack ect just talk to her about it

I just found out that my son is smoking pot. He is 14. I took some time to think about what I was going to do and instead of punishing him by grounding or other means I wrote the following, put in on a poster and made him sign it and hang it on the wall in his room so he could see it every day. What I understand about smoking pot... I understand that marijuana is an illegal substance and if I am caught by the police I will be arrested, charged and prosecuted. I understand that smoking pot doubles my risk of developing depression and anxiety later in life. I understand that the amount of tar and carbon monoxide absorbed by marijuana smoke are three to five times higher than tobacco smoke. I understand that contrary to popular belief, pot smoking can become addictive. Each year more kids enter treatment for pot addiction than all other drugs combined. I understand that today’s pot is more potent than ever and can be laced with crack or other chemicals to increase addiction. I understand that pot is a gateway drug and can lead to other substance abuse. I understand that smoking pot impairs my ability to make good judgments, choices and life altering decisions. I understand that smoking pot can lead to a host of health, social, learning and behavioral problems at a crucial time in a young persons development. I understand that smoking pot can put my academic achievements at risk. I understand that operating a motor vehicle while under the influence of marijuana is an illegal offence and that if I am caught I will be arrested, charged and prosecuted. (If I am not killed first) I understand that smoking pot impairs my fine motor skills, balance and internal timing system by impairing the CEREBELLUM part of my brain. I understand that smoking pot impairs blood flow to the PERFRONTAL CORTEX, in my brain, (which does not fully developed until my mid 20s), effecting my ability to make decisions that require judgement and consideration of long term consequences. I understand that smoking pot impairs my ability to reason and problem solve by affecting the receptors in the CREBRAL CORTEX of my brain. I understand that smoking pot can affect the HYPOTHALAMUS part of my brain causing sleep disorders, hormonal imbalances, increased blood pressure and heart rate. I understand that smoking pot impacts the LIMBIC SYSTEM in my brain leading to depression, short term memory loss, lack of motivation and suicidal thoughts. I understand that even a small amount of marijuana found at home or at school will have severe consequences including suspension. I understand that I only have one body and it has to last me the rest of my life. I understand that comparing the risks of pot smoking to other substances does not change any of these facts. I understand that we know more about marajuana use today than we ever have and that I have someone in my life who loves me enough to provide me with this information, that information equals power and that I now have the power to make an informed decision. Gail

I just found out that my son is smoking pot. He is 14. I took some time to think about what I was going to do and instead of punishing him by grounding or other means I wrote the following, put in on a poster and made him sign it and hang it on the wall in his room so he could see it every day. What I understand about smoking pot... I understand that marijuana is an illegal substance and if I am caught by the police I will be arrested, charged and prosecuted. I understand that smoking pot doubles my risk of developing depression and anxiety later in life. I understand that the amount of tar and carbon monoxide absorbed by marijuana smoke are three to five times higher than tobacco smoke. I understand that contrary to popular belief, pot smoking can become addictive. Each year more kids enter treatment for pot addiction than all other drugs combined. I understand that today’s pot is more potent than ever and can be laced with crack or other chemicals to increase addiction. I understand that pot is a gateway drug and can lead to other substance abuse. I understand that smoking pot impairs my ability to make good judgments, choices and life altering decisions. I understand that smoking pot can lead to a host of health, social, learning and behavioral problems at a crucial time in a young persons development. I understand that smoking pot can put my academic achievements at risk. I understand that operating a motor vehicle while under the influence of marijuana is an illegal offence and that if I am caught I will be arrested, charged and prosecuted. (If I am not killed first) I understand that smoking pot impairs my fine motor skills, balance and internal timing system by impairing the CEREBELLUM part of my brain. I understand that smoking pot impairs blood flow to the PERFRONTAL CORTEX, in my brain, (which does not fully developed until my mid 20s), effecting my ability to make decisions that require judgement and consideration of long term consequences. I understand that smoking pot impairs my ability to reason and problem solve by affecting the receptors in the CREBRAL CORTEX of my brain. I understand that smoking pot can affect the HYPOTHALAMUS part of my brain causing sleep disorders, hormonal imbalances, increased blood pressure and heart rate. I understand that smoking pot impacts the LIMBIC SYSTEM in my brain leading to depression, short term memory loss, lack of motivation and suicidal thoughts. I understand that even a small amount of marijuana found at home or at school will have severe consequences including suspension. I understand that I only have one body and it has to last me the rest of my life. I understand that comparing the risks of pot smoking to other substances does not change any of these facts. I understand that we know more about marajuana use today than we ever have and that I have someone in my life who loves me enough to provide me with this information, that information equals power and that I now have the power to make an informed decision. Gail

You cant make her stop. sorry. After some time with smoking, she properbly get tired of it.. if not? actuly theres nothing wrong with it.. i know some grown ups with a VERY well functional life, and just like everybody else, who smokes from time to time.

Sorry can't comment on your comment( because I dont get a verificationmail:S) But I had to respond anyway. I hope you can become mature?? Sorry, but I do not think im the only one who have not become mature yet. You are mentioning my friends having a "Functional Dysfunctional life" without knowing them(very mature)And you are saying that you hope I'll become so mature, to realize that drugs aren't the answer.. who have ever spoken about an "answer"? The only reason the do it is to have fun(Like some grownsups enjoy to share a bottle of wine from time to time. But by the way I'm first very sorry to hear how bad your daughter was into this, and I'm very pleased to hear that shes happy now..

I'll be honest. I started smoking pot in late middle school. Stopped for about 5 years after high school. Now (I'm 30) I smoke an occasional joint. Parents can't stop kids from smoking pot, or doing other drugs for that matter. As to pot being a gateway drug, that's just not true. I nor any of my pot smoking friends, have never done any other drug. To your question. In my experience I've seen two types of pot smokers, the functional ones who can smoke a joint here and there and still move on with day to day life (me, I'm successful, have a great job, drive a nice car, don't do any other drugs and don't drink. Pot is my alcohol) The other kind is the "burn outs" they smoke all day, don't do anything etc... Pot is very similar to alcohol, sans the addictive properties. Pot is NOT addictive. One can have a few drinks and be fine, or can become a drunk. Just make sure your kid doesn't become a burn out and you'll be fine. If you attempt to stop her, she'll just keep doing it.

the only thing that might work on me is going to jail and there a slim chance of it working

consider your own addictions. if you smoke tobacco or drink alcohol, then that is enough of a reason for your kid to smoke pot. what is the difference, they will say. it is not physically addicting. it is just mentally addicting. they just think they are addicted. they say they can stop if they want to. and that is correct. except their friends smoke it, so why stop. if she meets people that dont smoke and who she might look up to and want to associate with, that might work. since she is hanging with low life characters, she wont stop....its over a year since you asked that question. is your daughter still smoking pot?

the fact is she probably wont stop. you could tell her to, she will do it more, you start to try to make it seem uncool, then she will think your real slack and do it more aswell, the best thing, would be to sneak in her room when you can and look form dope, then remove it, jsut tell her i dont trust you, you can do it i knwo i cant stop you but if i find it in my house ii will take it, chances are that is the best you can do.

use at home drug tests, then punish her if she fails. its simple, you have to be the bad guy but its an inevitable scenario in parenthood.

Don't ask her to stop. It's not harmful and it's not a gateway drug, if her grades don't decrease and she doesn't move on to other drugs, theirs no real reason to ask her to stop.

Smoking marijuana is the most popular form of drug use in Canada and the U.S. Many parents are shocked when they realize their son/daughter smokes, but it really is not uncommon, and it is very easy to find. It doesn't just make you feel calmer, it makes you think in ways you usually would not, and it can help with sleep problems. It doesn't make it alright. My mom found out when i was 16, and she wasn't really that angry. She just told me that if i continued to use pot on a regular basis that i would end up like some of her friends are, addicted, slow, and forgetful. I still continue, but once in a while she says "it's going to make you stupid" and things like that. Did i care? No. Flipping out doesnt help either, just be calm, and explain to her to look at her friends who do smoke pot, what do they have to offer really compared to the kids who don't? She WILL see a diffrence i guarantee..because i do. Also tell her it is PROVEN and show her that it can lead to many mental problems and it can trigger depression. Thats all i can say really

I believe my daughter is smoking marijuana to cover up or try to forget about her problems, she is 18 now... and 4 years later from the start of her abuse and we are ready for her to change, I know she wants to change but I was a smoker and I do not ever want to smoke another one, so the sitting down with her on that level and smoking a joint is not going to happen. It took me seeing myself that way and not liking it to stop. Hopefully she will do the same, she suffers from depression as well and she needs help to cope, but the abusing marijuana and other drugs has to stop first.

If YOU want her to stop, light up a joint with her. Let her friends and their parents know you smoke mj with your daughter. She will be so embarrassed she will disaassociate herself from mj immediately. If not, at least you will know what you are asking her to give up.

this is very tricky. I smoked lots of marijuana in my early college years but it did NOT lead to harder drugs for me nor did I get addicted to it. In fact, in my mid-20's I just lost interest in it. If my mother had said anything to me about quitting I would've just rebelled. I doubt if talking to your daughter will get her to stop but at the same time I believe its a parents duty to still talk to the child about the cons of marijuana but tis very important to make it a heart to heart talk and not a screaming match or a lecture.

I am now in the same situation. Allowing any of this to continue.... Apparently some of these answers are from people who don't have a child and understand this kind of love.

Personally, I don't see any thing wrong with it, however I'll suggest what my mom did with me. 1. Thank God it wasn't something more serious. 2. Tell her to quit, and explain why you want her to quit. Tell her that if she doesn't she'll be punished. 3. Wait 28 days, buy an at-home drug test (they can be purchased at any drug store for roughly twenty dollars. Trust me, I had to pay for them everytime.) And adminester it. (Put cleaning chemical in the toilet, and make sure the sink is off the entire time. Make sure she doesn't have water with her, and keep the medican cabneit locked.) If it's positive: 4. Enforce the punisment (It was six months without leaving the house, no t.v., no phone, no internet, no one over, ect. for me.) 5. Repeat step 3, if it's positvie again double the previous punishment. I was scared shitless of my mom.