Im in love with my friend of 4 years, hes a white guy and im an asian girl of mixed ethnicity. I really like him and he likes me too. Just recently we exchanged I love yous. Its just sometimes he says "stupid asians", isnt this odd? Does he have issues
by 
trestreschic
ANSWERS: 20
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Tell him how it makes you feel when he says this. Yes, I think he has an issue. He may be ignorant and caught up in stereotyping people. This is not good and maybe you can help him see how wrong and hurtful it is. Talk it out. Communication is key.
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I think that is in poor taste. If he loves you, I am leaning toward the thought that he does not have huge issues, but it would be an awful thing to have more of that come out when you are deeper into this relationship. I think at this early stage, you need to sit him down and tell him how that makes you feel. Facing it now will save you and him a lot of trouble down the road.
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I'll play devil's advocate, then, and say that it isn't too much of a problem. My wife is Ukrainian, and I often refer to her 'stupid Russian logic' while she points out our women's 'typical fat Scottish a*se'. However, we do this as part of a loving relationship, where I agree that too many Scots women are overweight and she recognised that much Russian logic has been twisted by Sovietism. Our comments are not meant as personal jibes, and we recognise this. We can both laugh at traits in our own people. That said I don't think it is fair to refer to 'stupid' Asians, as there is no basis to assume Asians are less intelligent than others. Let him know you are irked, if not offended, by his words and that he should perhaps find a different phrase.
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call him a cracker and then your even, everyone has issues.
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Back in high school (predominantly white), we used to have this expression "do it like a white man", it meant do it properly. When I started dating someone of a different ethnicity, I stopped using that expression. No big deal (after we broke up I didn't go back to using it). I would ask the boyfriend to stop. If he really does love you, he'll stop. He'll say something like "oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about it and I sure didn't want you to feel bad. And that will be the end of it. No big drama. If there is a problem with him stopping, I'd think perhaps he isn't that great.
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weve never called each other anything derogatory, for the past 5 years.
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when he says it, pull him up and point out (as if he hasn't noticed!) that you are asian. Tell him this hurts you. Sometimes when people hear things all their lives, it just becomes second nature to say it without thinking.
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Remind him that your asian too. Listen to his response you can base your future with him on that topic.
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I find that very disrespectful, racist and offensive. I am Jewish and if any man said that to me, I would be highly offended and angry. There is no need for that, EVER. I would tell him exactly how his remarks make you feel. I am sure if you said something negative about whites he would flip out. Before this relationship goes any further, talk to him now, otherwise he may get worse as time goes by.
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why are you attracted to a guy who says "stupid asians"? Your asian! Thats like the girl who finds bad guys and goes "oh , why do I always find the bad men"? Be careful, he may only be attracted to you because he is fascinated with your Asianess and little more.
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a lot,it is something you may have to live with. however,gradually you can "break" it out of him.
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it could be worse, he could use ethnic slurs instead of the word "asians"
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i do find that a bit odd, but i don't know that he has issues. in my experience, some people assume asians are all smart. maybe he's just joking around when he saying "stupid asians", making fun of that generalization.
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my man calls me a cracker and i just laugh at him !!!! if its joking around dont take it personal but if he seriously thinks your race is stupid, i'd question your relationship
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i think its just his humor. I do it all the time. racist jokes are HILARIOUS! only if they are truly jokes, though. but, anyway, id ask him to chill out. he probably doesnt even know it offends you and wouldn't mind stopping at all! :D
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No he doesn't have any issue because its you that have it. You allow him to treat you like a secondary and abuse you verbally and you have not reacted to him because you love him to death and is too dumb to see that he is not that into you. He has insulted your background and all of asians and it seems you are on his side. Have some respect for yourself or no one will show it to you.
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All Americans are racists at heart
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I think it likely that he is joking when he says 'stupid Asians'. There are plenty of stereotypes for Asians but stupid isn't one of them. . If he actually does think that 'they' are stupid it is not at all clear that he thinks of you as 'them'. . Regardless, you can train him. Most men respond to a rolled-up newspaper smacked smartly across their noses. the nose is a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. If that doesn't work, there are other sensitive areas. . Good luck. Truly.
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NO LOL! I SAY THAT ALL THE TIME! is he joking? im almost POSITIVE hes joking... stupid asians (>.<')
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Frankly I would say goodbye immediately. I take that to mean he has deep seated racism, and it's unlikely to change. Why would he be in a relationship with you if he's racist? Because for some men, sex and relationships are about domination. Dominate the "stupid Asians" in this case. Will he become a wife beater in the future? Maybe. Please don't hang around to find out.
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