by littl_foggy on January 16th, 2007

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How many of you are raising children without the other parent there? How do you deal with birthdays or special moments they would be spending with the other parent?

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by mstdawn on January 16th, 2007
I have 2 children by 2 different fathers. I was married for several years when my husband and I decided to have our first child. He was an awesome father until we decided to get divorced. We have been divorced for 9 years, the first 3 years he spent trying to take her away(and was charged with using the courts to harrass me),the last 6 years he has seen her less than a dozen times. The kicker to that he lives in the same town, and its a small town. He has visitation rights and he use to take her on holidays and such. We just found ways to make our own special days before or after she returned home. He missed her last birthdy, then thanksgiving, x-mas and new years. At first it was very hard, she still has moments when it gets to her, and she is 12! I think she has learned that its not her fault for his actions and god bless her soul she is the sweetest child you could imagine. I feel it is him missing out not her! After dealing with all that when I found out I was pregnant with my second I decided not to force a relationship on my sons (who is now 5)father, he does not know of his father. I dated a man for a few years before I had my son and we started dating again when I was pregnant so he has been in my sons life since he was born. Im blessed! Sorry for rambling, touchy subject I think.
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- no sorry needed! thank you!
  
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  by littl_foggy on January 17th, 2007
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by Damiana on January 16th, 2007
I'm raising an offspring on my own and I would love to have my child be able to spend and share those special moments with her father. I have to deal with my situation differently because he passed away. So if you are sharing the parental duties, holidays and special events of your child's life - embrace it and let your children see the both of you doing as such and working together because you both love your children so much.
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- the problem with that is he did not see or even call our son on his b-day. he used to see him every weekend 48hours straight and he lived in the same town. now he see's him every other weekend 1 night and has moved a town away. for the 1 night he is with his son he dosnt take him to the bathroom, change his cloths, have a room for him, and he teeches him really bad words. so our son comes back in a reck completly depressed.
  
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  by littl_foggy on January 17th, 2007
- I definately see your point here. My heart goes out to you and your son. All he's doing is causing undo stress and confusion for your child. I have 2 offspring and each had different fathers. The older didn't see her dad very often and he was in the same city. After two years went by with no calls or visits, at age 11 she contacted him, he resumed visitation - which was difficult because I had to "share" again and 5 months afterwards he died in a car accident. The other offspring's father died of suicide when she was 5 - we were separated at the time and trying to "share" in our parental duties. Both fathers died 2 years apart. Now everything is left up to me to take care of and to mend the broken hearts of two grief stricken offspring. My situation is very different and my answer was to based on that. What your son's father is doing will probably "bite him in the ass" when your son is older and he realizes how poorly his father took care of him during their visitation.
  
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  by Damiana on January 17th, 2007
- I hope he just realizes that his father can't grow up it is beyond his ability and that it is in no part my sons fault. I hope he can look back and remember all the times I have and will take him fishing, hiking, biking, 4wheeling, to the park. and the fact that I always put him first. that I am a lot younger than his dad but still stood up and took both rolls. I hope that even though he may be sad to think of his father he will be proud to have me as his mother.
  
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  by littl_foggy on January 17th, 2007
- How could he not be proud of you darlin' - you have shown your son so much love and support - when he's older he'll realize just how lucky he is to have you as his mother - if he doesn't already realize in his own little way. For your son's sake I hope that his father will grow up and be the father that your son needs and deserves. If not, I bet you have more than enough love to fullfill both jobs - at least is seems that way to me. With your help your son can realize that his father's actions are in no way his fault. You're an awesome mother and your son will be an awesome man because of that!!
  
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  by Damiana on January 17th, 2007
- thank you soooo much!
  
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  by littl_foggy on January 17th, 2007
- Your very welcome!
  
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  by Damiana on January 17th, 2007
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by msummers10 on January 16th, 2007
No kids of my own. I do help my sister raise her son, but it's not too hard. He's only 14 months old. His father lives about 100 miles away, so he only gets to see him about twice a month.
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How many of you are raising children without the other parent there? How do you deal with birthdays or special moments they would be spending with the other parent?

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How many of you are raising children without the other parent there? How do you deal with birthdays or special moments they would be spending with the other parent?

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