This is a decision you're going to have to make. IF it was myself AND KNOWING what I know today about my Grandparents, I would keep it to myself - until I had to tell them. What do I mean? Perhaps the following true story will enlighten you. Over 40 years ago, one of my cousins was in the service. He met a wonderful lady. They dated and eventually they fell in love. BUT THERE WAS A HUGE BARRIER to overcome: they were from totally different religions and backgrounds. Michael went to Nancy's parents. He asked for her hand in marriage. I don't know how long it took to convince them, but eventually they agreed to give their daughter's hand in marriage. Barrier Number 1 was overcome. The next step was Michael's parents. With little resistance, they agreed - with ONE condition: The marriage MUST be approved by the patriarch of our family, David Berue. Barrier Number 2 was overcome - kind of. Before continuing I feel I MUST tell you a little bit about our Gran'pop, Mr. David Berue: 1) In the early 1900's he immigrated from Europe to the United States. 2) He was a plumber for the City of Philadelphia. His work ethic was impeccable. He worked when he was scheduled to work, rarely missing any days. 3) He was an EXTREMELY loving, devoted, affectionate and demonstrative husband. He ALWAYS told his bride how beautiful she was, how caring she was and what a wonderful helpmate she was. They held hands and cuddled ALL THE TIME! They were constantly on their honeymoon! 4A) He was a TRULY devoted father of 6, uncle and loving grandfather. 4B) His bride was just as devoted and caring to him, her siblings, to her children, her siblings' children and ALL the grandchildren. 5A) He was an EXTREMELY religious man! EVERY morning and evening he went to services. Every Friday afternoon, he made sure he was home early enough to get ready for the Sabbath and Sabbath services. He NEVER, EVER worked from Friday at sundown until Saturday's sundown. As usual, he would return to work on Sunday when he was scheduled. 5B) He ALWAYS scheduled his days off to observe the Jewish holidays. 6) Rumor has it he could learn ANY foreign language at a very, very fast pace! 7) He had A WONDERFUL sense of humor. 8) NO ONE EVER heard him utter one swear word! Keeping all that in mind, Michael called Gran'pop Berue. He wanted Gran'pop to meet Nancy. He asked if he could come and see him. A meeting was arranged for a Saturday afternoon - after services and religious studies were over; before the Saturday evening services. To say Michael and Nancy were scared to a state of numbness is putting it very mildly. They were petrified! The appointed time arrived. They went to Gran'pop's and Gran'mom's home. As usual Gran'pop was in his chair. Gran'mom was sitting next to him. Michael had some remarks prepared. He introduced Nancy to them. Gran'pop asked Nancy to sit down in the chair next to him. Michael made his points very clear. Nancy was not Jewish. BUT they were VERY much in love. They wanted to get married. THE ONLY thing standing in their way was the Gran'pop's approval. Very patiently and quietly Gran'pop and Gran'mom listened. Michael finished his remarks. Michael sat-down next to Nancy and took one of Nancy's hands in his. I never asked how long it took for Gran'pop to give his approval, but this is what I was told: Gran'pop reached over and took Nancy's forearm in his hand. His hand gently glided down to her free hand. He took her hand in his, squeezed it very gently, looked at Michael and said, "So, tell me . . . does she have a sister?" Gran'pop gave his approval! At that time I'm sure there were tears of relief AND joy! A short time later Michael and Nancy were married! To this day they are married. Like all living things and human beings, Gran'mom and Gran'pop "went to their final reward". There isn't one person in our family who doubts where they are. Gran'pop's remark and his approval OPENED THE FLOODGATES! I can honestly say our family is about 80 strong! AND A WHOLE LOTMORE diversified and culturally richer! We have Jews, Catholics, Protestants, Baptists and a few other religions! Alphabetically, there are black, brown, red, white and yellow folks! No one was ever told he or she had to convert or change their religion or religious beliefs. Some have converted from their religion to Judaism. Some of my cousins converted to other religions. AND everyone is permitted to practice his or her religion (or no religion). I THINK there is an agnostic and an atheist. Our family has same-sex couples. They don't pose any problem. IF there was or is a problem, I don't think it's anyone else's business what goes on or what those folks prefer. BELIEVE ME: As far as our family is concerned there aren't any hard feelings or regrets. Thanks for asking your Q! I enjoyed answering it! VTY, Ron Berue Yes, that is my real last name! Sources: My wonderful family! Some personal observations and conclusions. "THE University of Hard Knocks" Also known as ("a/k/a") "life's valuable lessons".

are you actually atheist? your parents seem to think so, but are you? i think that you do not have to lie to your grandparents. you go to church, leave it at that. if the conversation steers towards religion and what you believe, steer it away. if they ask you if you go to church, can you not quite honestly say "yes"? if you can't avoid deeply religious questions, you can say that you are still on your spiritual journey. i think the odds are good that your grandparents went through something similar. quite a lot of people do. your beliefs are not set. they can still change. tell them you are still learning and figuring out what feels right in your heart - while still going to church. i don't think you should outright lie to them, but you know them, and this decision has to be made to you.

How old are you? As you get older, you're going to find more and more situations where you need to choose between being true to yourself vs. letting others keep their illusions. Your grandparents are old enough to know that life throws lots of curve balls: things they didn't expect and don't want. They will not die... at least, not from this news. Neither will your parents. The truest religion is being true to yourself. If they haven't learned that at their age, they've missed the point of all those church services.

Ain't that sad? Not only are they living a lie but they also force everybody around them to live one too, still, they see nothing wrong with that. And, if that ain't religion in a nutshell, I don't know what is!