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by Mallory Williams on November 28th, 2004

Mallory Williams

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I'm 15, my boyfriend is 18, and we're in love. My mom doesn't like the age difference. Is it illegal for us to have sex, or to be together at all?

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Answers. 17 helpful answers below.

  • by Merry Walker on December 12th, 2004

    Merry Walker

    In most states, yes, it's illegal for the two of you to have sex, and your boyfriend could be charged with statutory rape. While it's probably not technically illegal for you to simply be together, it's a gray area if sex is involved, and there are almost certainly other issues like curfew that could get you both in trouble.

    You mother is correct to be concerned about the age difference between you. There are many times in our lives when a three year age difference doesn't mean much, but the three years between 15 and 18 make a huge difference. During those three years we all do a lot of growing up and undergo a number of changes. That's why you don't usually see 18-year-olds hanging out with 15-year-olds. The 18-year-olds tend to look on 15-year-olds as 'kids' and have little in common with them.

    This is why adults get very concerned when they see an 18-year-old guy with a 15-year-old girl. From experience we know that unless the boy is very immature for his age, his primary interest in the girl is probably sex. I'm not saying that your boyfriend is only interested in sex, but you need to take a long hard look at him and ask yourself why he's interested in someone so much younger than he is. (And saying "we're in love" isn't enough.) If "being in love" means more than just being horny for each other, there will be definite qualities that can be identified like common interests and common life experiences. How does he handle being with your friends? How does he handle your being with him around his friends? Does he always treat you as an equal, or does he sometimes treat you like a kid? Is he pressuring you to have sex with him?

    I know your feelings for your boyfriend are very real, and that you probably feel that you're ready to have sex with him (and may already be having sex with him). At 15 I was certain I was in love and had sex with my boyfriend (who was closer to my own age than yours is), but looking back now I can see I wasn't really ready, and that doing it was a mistake, and that I was just very lucky that it didn't cause more problems in my life than it did.

    Your mother loves you and cares about you. Take her advice seriously. You could easily ruin your own life and your boyfriend's life be getting too involved too quickly. While it's hard to believe when you're 15, you have plenty of time to get seriously involved with someone. Take your time and be sure. If it's a true love, it will only be better for waiting.

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  • by happiness on September 7th, 2009

    happiness

    Ilegal cos it's outside marriage and Immoral and you are way too young. Too early to have sex.

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  • by Sunblynd 5.0 on January 31st, 2007

    Sunblynd 5.0

    You are not "in love", the peptides and hormonal chemicals in your brain cause the sensations of love. These sensations will soon subside, and then you will be left with your concious decision process', then you will realize that you were in a phase and not in love at all. You are to young to understand the meaning of what love is.

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  • by Answerbag Stuff on January 31st, 2007

    Answerbag Stuff

    You can date him but you have to be above the age of consent(in my state its 16) to have sex. I can see why your mother is worried, at 15 you're still a little girl and most people will wonder why this guy is dating you. So I'd consider either waiting or going separate ways. Talk to your Mom, she wants the best for you.

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  • by itinary on October 14th, 2009

    itinary

    You must be way too legal now

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  • by DudeLer 2 on September 20th, 2009

    DudeLer 2

    you are almost twenty now, how many kids do you have?

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  • by HrrdGrrl on January 12th, 2008

    HrrdGrrl

    This depends on the state:
    In Delaware Oklahoma Kentucky, Missouri, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, Texas and Washington, you would surely be LEGAL, check links below for more.
    So far, I haven't found a state which didn't have some sort exemption on this.
    They just don't wanna criminalize teen sex
    Also, 18 - 15 is perfectly normal, 18 - 13 would be kinda iffy.
    As long as it's consensual of course! no is no and rape is rape. but teen sex AINT rape.

    http://www.ctkidslink.org/testimony/040907judicspecialneeds.pdf
    http://www.oscn.net/applications/OCISWeb/DeliverDocument.asp?CiteID=69604

    "Delaware (where adolescents 12-years-old and up may legally engage in sexual activity with another adolescent no more than four years their senior),17 Kentucky (where persons 14 years of age or older may engage in sexual activity with persons no more than five years their senior),18 Missouri (permitting those 14-years old
    or older to engage in sexual activity with youth up to the age of 21 without criminal sanction),19
    New Hampshire (providing for a three-year age difference between sexual partners one of whom is
    aged 13-16).20 New York (providing an affirmative defense for defendants four years older, or less, than
    the “victim”),21 North Carolina (providing a six-year buffer for sexual activity with 13-15-year-olds),22
    Texas (providing a three-year window of consent for those under 17 years of age),23 and Washingt"

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  • by hotkittyinflames on February 21st, 2007

    hotkittyinflames

    its illegal for you to have sex. but you are less than 5 yrs apart so its not illegal to date.

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  • by Anonymous on January 30th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Fantastic Advise. I was thinkning about having sex with my boyfriend who is 21, but I don't feel it's necessary afterall. I mean we have so much more to focus on in our relationship. Sex maybe fun... I don't know, but just being by his side for us to be there for eachother is more than enough.

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  • by jaygee on October 18th, 2009

    jaygee

    In most states the age of consent is 18 so if you guys have sex your bf could go to jail for statatory rape. You guys can hang out together but we all know where that leads to. Your mom is right.

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  • by Vaporeongirl on September 7th, 2009

    Vaporeongirl

    You can be together, but, yes, sex with your age difference is illegal. WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE 18 and if he starts pressuring you, get rid of him. Older men take advantage of younger women all the time. Your mother is right to be concerned.

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  • by mrF4k3 on August 27th, 2009

    mrF4k3

    Not is it illegal for you to have sex, it is immoral. You arent in love, you are 15, you are way too young to have that feeling. Why dont you wait until you are able to change your own diaper first, before having a baby?

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  • by jojo on September 7th, 2009

    jojo

    yes it is illegal to have sex with you if your mom wants to take it to the police he can get arrested because i know your not going to date him and not have sex with him i know you are because that's a natural act your mom just wants the best for you good luck.

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  • by Ragerax on September 15th, 2009

    Ragerax

    It depends on the state. try looking up the state laws on age of consent laws.
    States usually enforce a law of 16-18+ being a consensual age for sexual intercourse. Some states also provide a law of common age which is as long as a couple engaging in sexual intercourse is a set age limit from one another then it is legal. EXAMPLE: if you are 13 years old and are having sex with someone between the ages of 13-16 then it is legal, because the two partners are within 3 years of one another.
    This may apply to you but it is better if you go out and look for age of consent laws for your state/country.
    And it is not illegal for you to be together, as long as their is no sign of sexual relationships including anything from kissing to sexual intercourse.

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  • by Gen.ButtNaked on December 5th, 2009

    Gen.ButtNaked

    Sex would be illegal if you tell someone, but it is far from illegal to merely date him!!!!

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  • by funnybunny on September 29th, 2009

    funnybunny

    Yes it is called statutory rape depending on what state your from, he could get in alot of trouble. But if your in love, just wait a few years then you can be together and noone can say anything about it. Check out this site.http://youngadults.about.com/od/legalissues/a/statutoryrape.htm

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  • by Chacotah_W on October 24th, 2010

    Chacotah_W

    I am 15 as well and my boyfriend will be 18 in janurary so i know how you feel. All of theses people are fools, they are adults and think they know everything. My boyfriend and I are engaged and I have a ring to prove it but they are just saying that we are childish and dumb. I know as well as you that it is love and that it doesnt matter what they are saying. I love my boyfriend and I even had my brother tattoo his initals on me but that is beside the point. no it is not illegal for you to to be together and to be happy but im not sure if you to are supposed to be able to have sex. Although if your anything like the teens i hang out with you will not care and do it anyways. Just be safe dont be like me i am pregnant now with my first and I dont mind but im differnt than most and even though you are young you can still feel love despite what theses know it all adults are saying.We are not babys although i can see your mothers point my mother has explained why she is concerned for my relationship over and over and her reason tends to be that i am so young and she just wants to look out for me
    but she understands that we love each other and she supports us. My boyfriend now lives with us and we all get along. I hope this helps. just ignore there rude ass comments they mean nothing its just them thinking they know how you feel and what goes through your head and they dont.
    PS to thouse who wrote decent comments this doesnt apply to you but that is only a few of you and you know who you are the rest of you are stuck on yourselves and i hold no respect you adults like you.

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