Consider the following questions, answers, and poem (from my profile): Are women who continually date men who are abusive, or put up with abuse, or make excuses for the guy, naive? Can they really not see the signs or just don't know what to do? Or do they think it's "love"? - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3047295 Signs of abuse, even early on - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2872392 and http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3766947 (controllers) Signs of abuse, and what to do - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3384385 Just to make you think about abuse: A poem © 1992 by Paulette Kelly I Got Flowers Today I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any special day. We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real. I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today, and it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’m afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today. Ultimately, it's up to you whether you leave or not, but from your description, I'd say it is time, and you know it. If you need permission from someone, you have it.