ANSWERS: 9
  • Have you tried reward instead of punishment? Psychologists tell us that it works much better. When she does all her assigned chores for the day (you are doing this too, right?) and otherwise behaves, you rent her a favorite movie or play a favorite game with her that night. [Rewarding with food can cause food issues.] If you haven't tried this, give it a whirl!
    • Sammy
      Agree, you need to point out the good things she done. Now are you a single parent. That play a role in it. You need to see what type of friends she has and if they are the values, and morals you teaching her. How is she with her brother?
  • You know what..I have a 12 yr old daughter and 3 boys between the ages of 10-6 I have no words of wisdom. But you do have my hope..my daughter is out of control now. I would say it is a mother/daughter thing, all my friends have the same issue with their daughters...yet they are daddys little girls (act like it anyways) Good luck, Im rootin for ya!
    • Sammy
      Our culture here in the USA is playing a big role in this. The television shows, music, community activities. She under a lot of pressure. You need to pull your sons to asile and talk to them and explain things they can do to help her. She bless to have three brothers. You need to explain to the boys that their sister need support and love. Get them to do things for her. I know this is shocking but you need to see if other girls are harassing her with sex. Today it the elementary kids and when I was in elementary school we did not have to deal with this. Now kids under 12 are dealing with this. You also need to talk to her about family privates. That she need to be careful what she share with others. Other girls can be ugly and said things to a girl who has brothers. I mean gross things can be said to her.
    • Sammy
      Our culture here in the USA is playing a big role in this. The television shows, music, community activities. She under a lot of pressure. You need to pull your sons to asile and talk to them and explain things they can do to help her. She bless to have three brothers. You need to explain to the boys that their sister need support and love. Get them to do things for her. I know this is shocking but you need to see if other girls are harassing her with sex. Today it the elementary kids and when I was in elementary school we did not have to deal with this. Now kids under 12 are dealing with this. You also need to talk to her about family privates. That she need to be careful what she share with others. Other girls can be ugly and said things to a girl who has brothers. I mean gross things can be said to her.
  • They need time and patience. They want to be "all grown up" and still want to be a kid. Take her out to paint her nails or other semi-grown up things. Its not about being her friend its about being her mom and being around she will learn to respect you again. I have spent some time with children in this age group and will gain their respect again.
  • Alright..I have read all 3 responses and all of them suck. While it is good to reward good behavior, it is just as important to discipline the bad. Sure take her out for fun mom/daughter time. Nails, movies, whatever. But if she get really out of control then take things away. Designer clothes are a luxury, not a necessity. TV and video games. School activities, allowances. All of these things can be taken away. Also where is the obvious answer?? Smack her ass. ITS NOT ABUSE!!! My mom used to smack my butt and still would if needed. It only took twice. I got it once for not listening and a second time for mouthing her off. And my grandma once for disrespect as well. Time out and going to their rooms is not real punishment for all cases. Also when doing things with the daughter be sure to have the same time allotted for your son. Don't want him to do the same things. Hope this helps and remember. You are the mom..You are the boss..You reign supreme. What you say goes. And if anyone tells you that giving your child a good whack on the ass is abuse. Give them one too. Good Luck.. Dave
  • i think you should talk to her and say if you carry on like that example you aint going to your friends party and if she acts up stick to your word.
  • A swat on her rearend will work wonders, if you have the nerve to do so. its not child abuse, its correcting your daughter. If you do not do this now, i promise you will regret it later. She will only become more defiant as she ages.
  • im in the same boat with my 2 boys 6 and 4. i started this whole reward system. i use poker chips and when they are good i give them a poker chip and when they are bad i take one away but when we go some where like the mall and they ask for something i ask got a poker chip? IF they have one then they get it and if they dont have one then thay do NOT get it. they lose them oh well. they left them at home oh well. sooo far its working pretty good. good luck!!! :)
  • I'm sorry but i have to agree with the person that says to swat her on her rearend, you see taking her out and talking to her will only do some good if she respects you in the first place. Show her who is boss, she is nine years old, she doesn't pay any bills, she doesn't own anything, so take EVERYTHING she has away so she basically has a bed and books in her room, and tell her until she starts acting right she won't get anything back. However the key is to make her work for them so don't just take them away and give them back when she is good, make her work for them, whether it be straights As or chores, let her see that nothing comes easy, and that good behavior is rewarded.
  • You have reached the age of negotiation with your daughter, She's already half-woman, half-child. You need to move from ordering to negotiating with her. You want to do this? Then I will do this. AND FOLLOW THROUGH.

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