I recently found out that my 16 yr old daughter spent the night at an ex boyfriend's house 4 months ago (she told me she was to her friend's). Should I punish her in some way or let it go because it was quite a long time ago?
by 
Christina
ANSWERS: 14
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give her a warning. put a red slip on the refrigerator door. sixteen year olds need some lee way, ask her to tell you when she is gonna lie to you so you two can discuss it first.
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no deed goes unpunished - ground her and give her extra chores and take away her comp&cellphone. Do it before you have a way bigger problem on your hands. Let her know that trust has to be earned.
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u might want to have a talk with her about birth control
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She isn't a young child who doesn't remember the bad thing she did two hours ago. Fact is, she broke your trust in her, and, regardless of the fact that it was 4 months ago, she still has to earn it back. Put restrictions on her, make her ultra-accountable to you until you feel she is trustworthy again. If she isn't punished for it, what reason would she have not to do it again?
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I am 18 and I say you have to punish her!! If teens get away with it once they will do it again and again and again!!
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Yes she is on birth control, and I know she isn't a virgin, we had the talk. I frequently see condoms in her purse or bedroom or whatnot. Lord knows I would rather my baby not having sex but at least she's using protection.
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Take her to church, I have found that helps mold impressionable minds in the direction of our savior.
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I would sit her down and have a nice long talk about being honest with you about these kind of situations. would also explain to her that she needs to trust you enough to discuss these things. Ultimately though, I would make sure that if this behavior is not acceptable by your standards that she understands that. I would also consider having a discussion with the young man's parents as well to ensure that they are aware of what he is doing also.
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I'd still punsih her. The thing is, by not punishing her you're letting her know that it's ok and that you'll let things slide if she withholds information from you long enough. Now I know this is a worst case scenario but what happens if she decides to sneak out again, and she tells you shes at a friends house but is actually at a party/friends house/club. What if something happens to her? Are you going to know where she is? Not only is this a trust issue but it should be a saftey issue as well. Not to mention that the fact that she lied to you proved that she knew it was wrong.
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punishment. or else she'll think she can get away with anything and try to test what else she can get away with.. 4 months is nothing, she could still be interested in him.
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punish. Just think how many times she has done it since then...
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I'd laugh hysterically, grab a knife and drive it various times into her body and then throw her corpse into the train tracks.. LMFAO Just playing around everybody..
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Every time I was punish as a teenager and it was for something that related to my relationship w/ my boyfriend I would just rebel. I don't think punishment is the way to go when the child is a teenager.....Why?- rather than looking within themselves...they are being told how to act by authority and IMO punishing your teen in this way will only drive them further away from you. my suggestion- Make an agreement that is based on persuasion so maybe You could say, "I will not ground you but, there are obvious reasons why I will not accept you staying at his house....so, I would like to make an agreement with you he can stay over 1hr later (than when you usually kick him out) as long as I have your word that I don't ever hear of you spending the night a his place again. If she breaks the agreement he won't be able to stay that extra hr anymore and there will be additional consequences.
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She'd probably just rebel. I did that too when I was 16. I did all BUT have sex with the dude and got caught by my mom the next day. I rebelled as much as I could then. I think the best thing to do is to just sit down with her and tell her all the things that went through your mind when you found out. Tell her that everyone's actions have consequences, and sometimes that you can't see them, but that they're still important. You should also tell her that you love her, and that you really just want the best for her, but that she needs to be truthful with you. Ask her if anything happened that she'd like to talk about. Tell her that you'd rather be her friend than a parent, and I'm sure that if she wants to talk, she'll talk. Just be honest and try to make her feel like your friend rather than your daughter.
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