by SparkE on January 9th, 2007

SparkE

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My boyfriend promised me that he would get rid of his wedding ring from his last marriage, over a year ago. It has not happened. I know it must be difficult for him to do such a thing, but it is difficult to move on as a couple with that in the picture.?

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Answers. 4 helpful answers below.

  • by swabby429 on January 9th, 2007

    swabby429

    This is a part of why we customarily spend plenty of time between meeting and marrying. Your question is more like two statements. I don't know what your question is.

    I'm going to guess that you'd like for him to sell or otherwise dispose of the ring? If so, how long have you been engaged to get married? If he is NOT your fiance, maybe he's not quite ready to give up his prior LTR and embark on a new LTR. It would be wise of both of you NOT to move too quickly in this regard. If there is a lot of pressure from you, there is a good chance that he will internalize some resentment and/or might feel hurried into a committment. This would be a nasty poison pill for any LTR you two might belong to.

    If you are engaged or think you might be, this situation is a clear signal that you both need to take much more time to seriously think over the future you two will be spending together, hopefully for eternity.

    If you are NOT planning on marriage or becoming formal domestic partners, the implications are not good for a harmonious relationship.

    Mind you, this is the OPINION of someone on the Internet who has never had the pleasure of meeting either you or your boyfriend.

    Good luck,
    swabby

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  • by Teri00 on January 9th, 2007

    Teri00

    Is he wearing it still, or just keeping it in a box? If he's just got it in a box, ignore it. If you stress over it, then you are letting this simple object have control over your feelings. In truth, it's his link to the past to deal with and maybe a reminder of what he wants to do right this time around. Don't bug him about it though, since every time it's mentioned it reminds him of his other (and failed) marriage. Let it go, and eventually he will too.

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  • by BigDaddyBS on August 16th, 2008

    BigDaddyBS

    Only if he's still wearing it, should it bother you.

    If it's in a jewelry box, and he doesn't it shouldn't - ESPECIALLY if he and his ex have kids together.

    I still have mine, somewhere. If my kids want it when they get married, they can have it. Rings are expensive. Why make the kid buy a new one, if he'd be satisfied with and WANT to wear the one his MOTHER gave me when WE got married? By the same token, he could sell it and have the money to buy his fiance's rings.

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  • by Anonymous on August 16th, 2008

    Anonymous

    If he is still wearing the ring, he is still in that relationship, not yours. Unless he's trying to tell everyone he's not available. Have you asked him what's up with this behavior?

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