My younger cousin (16 smart pretty virgin) was telling me about her bf...she feels hes not taking her seriously b/c they arent having sex. i told her i didnt think she should partly b/c i dont want my fam mad at me 4 telling her to do it...how do i deal?
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ANSWERS: 4
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Wow! A 16-year old smart pretty virgin who is not being taken seriously by her boyfriend (who is probably 11 smart pretty and a virgin too)! That's unbelievable! What's this world coming to, eh?
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I'd explain to her that having sex shouldn't make her boyfriend take her more or less serious...perhaps she is just hoping someone (you) will tell her to go for it! You did the right thing...I assume your older then her and a trusted adult so keep the lines of communication open, let her know you won't judge her no matter what she chooses to do in the end, let her know the precautions she should take to not get an std or pregnant while still doing all you can to discourage her from going too far with a boy that's probably an ass anyway and will break up with her once he's gotten what he wants...hence the he should take her serious rather he gets sex or not...if he's not taking her serious now there might be a reason there.
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NOT having sex with a guy, especially a young guy, is actually a GOOD way to see how serious he is taking her. If he actually cares for her, he's going to stick around whether she has sex with him or not. No one should be having sex, at any age, for the sole reason of proving something. If she doesn't want sex because she cares for him and wants to share that experience with him, or she hasn't taken steps against STDs and pregnancy, talked to her bf about his sexual past, and thought about the emotional and physical consequences, then she's not ready. And trust me, most high school boys aren't worth it if you're unsure about them in the first place. But that's my opinion. Give her yours, but tell her that's it's her choice in the end, and to make sure she's smart about it.
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She doesn't have to prove anything to her boyfriend because it's her decision whether she wants to have sex or not and if she wants to be a virgin till she feels that he or who ever is right for her then he should respected her for what she decides because there are a lot of thing to think about before you jump into a sexually relationship and pregnancy and STDs and there a lot of feelings that go along with a relationship like that to. In the long run she need to tell her bf either he respect he decision or else. Also if she feel the need she should talk to her mother if they can talk about it.
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