shes 11 your her mom not the other way around.You make the rules and if she feels that uncomfortable when she give him kisses let her kno she doesnt have to after all that is not her father. But she still has to respect him.

You have to remember that you're her mother, not her friend. She will still love you if you are strict with her. Her love for you will not disapear just because you don't allow her to have her way. She's going through a lot right now, school, separate parents with separete rules, body changes... it's a hard time in any child's life. I'd recommend you take her to a couseler. They have them at the health department if you can't afford one otherwise and seeing one would probably help you find a way to deal with her unruly behavior.

Daughters are a nightmare, I have been in your position and its not easy, the one thing I remember my mum telling me is that my kids will eventually "up and leave" at some point so its a good time to prepare yourself. My mums quite hard. My daughter went to her fathers, then came home for 2/3 years and all was well, then a year ago (because she couldnt get her own way) he took her back yet again. Just before Christmas 2008 he threw her out and now she is back with me ( her mum ) and I'm left with picking up the pieces. (as always) Its been a hard month so far just getting some sort of organisation in our lives again. It's good for you that her father has said no, at least he is backing you up, I never had that support. Every child needs stability but both parents need to deal with the unruly side, and say the same things to your child so there is some uniformity. It's easy for a cild to bounce between parents if you let them, I have three children and I havn't experienced any problems with my boys who are now 17 and nearly 16. Girls I find are always wanting or chasing something somebody else has got, their needs are much greater and girls are much less appreciative, whereas the boys are happy kicking a football around. You must sit down as parents and decide what you are going to do and not let your child dictate. Me and my Ex dont get along and this has been our problem, he thought he was a FAB parent but he finally admitted defeat. I want more than anything for my children to be happy, my daughter is miserable now that her dads side of the family are no longer talking to her, but this is her own doing and she has learnt the hard way. You also have to remember that children will lie to get their own way. When my Ex got re-married he used to make the children say goodnight to his new wife on going to bed & give her a kiss on the cheek, and when they came home they would bang on about it between themselves for hours.. they hated it. Step-Parents have the worst time ever, I live on my own and shoulder the stress alone. I have no idea what this is like. So I cannot comment. My daughter is now approaching 14 years and she doesnt get any better, we have our good days and our bad days together, we sit down and talk a lot we do things together, today we have discussed activities for the New Year. To get her focused once again. Good Luck!!

Although your husband and you are divorced your child is still required to respect the wishes of her parents. Likewise, your daughter should not be forced to kiss your new husband if she feels uncomfortable with it. Have a talk (not a yelling match) with your daughter and your current husband. Explain to your daughter why her father will not allow her to live with him. Likewise, tell your current husband to not expect or approch your daughter for kisses as it makes her uncomfortable. The main thing you must do is keep the lines of communication open with all involved. Talk about everything openly and NEVER allow talks to become yelling matches. If talks do become heated take a break and calm down and discuss only one topic at at time...several topics muddy the waters. Make an appointment at a conveniant time for all in the discussion to be present, never spur of the moment when there is anger. Often it is good to have a moderator (someone everyone trusts but not involved) to keep things in order during the discussion. You will find these processes work very well.

Try to sit down with your duaghter on a one on one conversation and discuss the issues with her first and listen to what she is saying and try to understand we as parents want to rule and control everything that goes on with or children but sometimes that can cause a lot of unneccasary stress. Remember even though she is a child she has her own emotions that at this age are probably hard to control. Try to keep an open mind for there may issues that you are not aware of that she is going through. and if that doesn't work try to get her to talk to some she can trust most kids don't like talking to thier parents and might be uncomfortable with a counselor(they are a complete stranger)and rebell even more. Wish you and your family the best. Remember to say positive and listen to her.