I am 16,married, and pregnant. me and my husband are very much in love... BUT we argue ALOT!! what can i do to prevent arguments?? please help me cuz i dont wanna lose my first love!!
by 
mommy2b
ANSWERS: 13
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After 23 years of marriage, i have realized one thing that really helps me in these situations. It sometimes is better to be happy than to be right. Me and my wife argued ALOT when we were first married and sometimes just biting the tongue and getting along is the best thing. Pick your battles, not everything is worth fighting for.
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If you argue that much then you may need to consider splitting. I know that if you bring your child up around this shit he/she will hate both of you. (I'd know)
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I married my first husband when I was 16, we fought ALL THE TIME..the reason I married was because I promised I would. He was very jealous which meant he was very insecure. You are very young, and to bring up a child in that atmosphere will only reinforce that childs idea of what a relationship is all about. If you truely want this work out the 2 of you should get some counsling, marriage/relationship counsling. Good Luck to you both, you've chosen a very difficult path.
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Learn to listen. Both of you. And accept that you (as in both of you) may not be right all the time. Try agreeing that you both have a turn when you get to speak without interruption. An agreed time that is yours to say what you want. And make sure you know what you want to say before you say it. Have a plan. And tell him to have a plan too, before he speaks. Be clear in what you say, and what you mean. Sounds like a bit of respect and patience is what's missing here, but I'm not there, so I don't really know.
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It seems like you have a lot going on in your life and at such a young age. You may be fighting more or a lot in general because of the mounting stress of your hectic lifestyle. You two might need sometime alone to reconnect. And as someone commented before me, pick your battles, it's not worth fighting all the time because it will just push you two farther and father apart. Also, be patient, your husband might feel an immense amount of pressure to be the bread winner, so definitely support him and show him you care. Fights are bound to happen, but they shouldn't be the forefront of your relationship. Also, consider talking to a counselor if you can't settle things. Hope this helps!
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At what age!? Goodness me. Slightly young? Slight rush? whats the rush?
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Try going and getting some marriage counseling. As you mature into marriage, it doesn't prevent you from disagreeing, but it changes what happens when you DO disagree. You have to learn to "fight" fair, and resolve the disagreement without making it a personal issue. Marriage counseling might help you learn to argue helpfully instead of destructively.
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ask yourself if it could concievably be all your fault... try to figure out how it is and what you are doing wrong. this is in addition to counceling. councelors are trained not to tell you "you are in the wrong" but they can tell you when you are not but think you are. if it takes 2 to make it work it only takes one to make it fail and that one never suspects it is them. sometimes it is both making it fail and it could very easily be him, but start by finding any possible way it might be your fault.
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If it's just differences of opinion you might try saying, "You may be right." I used to say "whatever" but that just set her off worse. But, over the years, we have found that "you may be right" generally gives some validity to the other persons opinion and eases the tension. It helps if you're not right all the time. But, you can't be wrong all the time, either. Try to find a harmony.
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Stop talking to the guy
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Focus on everything you hate about the guy. If you start to hate him enough, and the feeling is reciprocated, you'll never talk again.
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well when you are pregnant your hormones are going crazy. every feeling is more intense. Remember this is the father of your baby, you guys will fight. its normal. My sister is about your age and in the same boat. THey fight more than anyone i know, but i also know they are one of those few couples that find each other. Soulmates. Always remember the first couple years of marriage are the toughest, and throw a baby into the picture that makes it even harder. Dont loose each other. Its easy to do when everything turns into baby baby. Just have faith and if you love each other thats all you need
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try talking about things, if you find that an argument is starting then walk away until you both cool down.
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