ANSWERS: 46
  • Yes, do you want me to?
  • Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A: Divorcee'
  • Yes I can. Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing out the W's.
  • I'm sure you can
  • Why did the blonde keep going out to her mailbox? Because her computer said "You've got mail"
  • I don't happen to know any but even if I did I wouldn't because I'd screw up the punchline. :)
  • Yes you can!!
  • Yes, go ahead, I am listening.
  • One day a blonde was hired to work in the tickle me elmo factory after a while on the production line she is called into the managers office, a little worried she asks him if everything is all right? He asks her what she is holding marbles and a sewing kit? She hold her Elmo up smiling at what a wonderful job shes done, The manager informs her shes fired when shes asks why "I told you to give him two test tickles!!"
  • Why do blondes have sore bellybuttons? Because blonde men are stupid too!
  • Yes,,How do you tell when the Blonde is done having Sex,,, , , She turns the doom Light Off;) Your Turn;)
  • You can but she may not get it... they are more visual. Do charades, that always gets them going. :)
  • I do not know any jokes I have a mind that just does not remember them I am afraid.
  • As a matter of fact 30% of blondes are from a bottle. So what are brunettes? Wanna-be blondes.
  • How do you get four blonds to sit down? Turn a chair upside down. What happened to the blond who got herself a vibrator? All her teeth fell out. Why does a blond wear green lipstick? Green means go. >_>
  • What do you call a blonde haired skeleton in a wardrobe??.... ...Last years hide and seek champion:)
  • A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet." So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
  • A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet." So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
  • Not really. It's hard b/c I am a blond.
  • how do you confuse a blonde? but them in a round room and tell them to sit on one corner how do you know if a blondes been eating m&m's? you find their shells all over the kitchine floor
  • "Naturally blond, please speak slowly." I used to have a tee-shirt that said that. Only it wasn't a joke.
  • No..LOL :)
  • Two blonds were on a clear night looking at a full moon. One asked the other: Here we are in California, and I wonder....Which one is farther away....the Moon or Japan? The other one looked at her and said: Come on....don't be silly, that's a very easy question. Can you see Japan?.....The Moon is right there, so Japan must be farther away!
  • A blonde was driving along a deserted highway in a volkwagon beetle, when it suddenly stopped. As she popped the bonnet a second blonde, also in a volkswagon bettle stopped to help. "What's happened?" "My car suddenly stopped working and I just found out why. There's no engine in it!" "Don't Worry!" said the second blonde. "I've got a spare one in the boot!"
  • No, I'm not blonde. Only a blonde has the right to tell blonde jokes without being offensive. I lived in a Jewish household for two years. They told Jewish jokes all the time, without offense. I can't repeat the jokes I learned there without giving offense, so I don't. Neither will I tell Blonde Jokes.
  • How about a few more: Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work? A: In case she had to draw blood! Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
  • 3 women are on death row and its the day of execution, The red head stands before the firing squad and says shes ready no last words suddenly she yells Tornado! as everyone ducks for cover she escapes, The brunette stands next and also says no last words as the squad aims she yells Earthquake! again escaping while everyone scrambles around The blonde thinks she has it and when its her turn she yells FIRE! a blonde brunette and red head are stranded on a desert island for many months when one day a bottle washes ashore and out pops a genie "since there are 3 of you I shall grant you each one wish" Thhe brunette goes first I miss my job terribly and wish to return to work, poof she goes back to work, The redhead is next and says I miss my family so much all I want to do is be home with them Poof off she goes, The genie turns to the blonde who is crying and asks Whats the matter my dear? "I'm all alone now I wish my friends were still here"
  • Q: What do you call the dead blonde in the closet? A: The 'hide-and-seek' champion of 1977! ;-)
  • Joke! See I told you. Here I cannot tell a blonde joke because there are only black,gray haired and bald ones! Hilarious stuff in your answers. Thanks!
  • Yes I can, but it's more brutal to tell Essex Girl jokes. Example: Q: Why does an essex girl wear panties? A: to keep her ankles warm
  • How do you keep a blonde in suspense...? .... keep waiting....
  • How are a blonde and the Burmuda Trianle the same? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
  • If a blonde and a brunet jumped off a cliff...who who hit first? The brunet...the blonde has to stop to ask for directions. What does a blonde wear behind her ears to attract men? Her ankles.
  • A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over, and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune..... Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse. And you thought all they did was say Hello.
  • Q: A blonde says who are you? A: I am blonde
  • A blonde went into a barbershop wearing headphones. It was her turn, so the barber told her to take the headphones off or she wouldnt get her haircut. The blonde responed saying she would die if she took them off. The barber urged her to take them off, then finally did, and the the blonde fell to the floor, dead. The barber picked up the headphones and put them on and heard a voice saying, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.
  • A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde all want to be nuns. The head nun tells them they must do something bad, then drink the holy water. The redhead comes back and says she killed her husband. The head nun tells her to go drink from the holy water. The brunette comes back and says she robbed a bank. The head nun tells her to go drink from the holy water. The blonde comes back and the head nun asks what she did wrong. The blonde replies, I peed in the holy water.
  • A family goes into a motel lobby in Las Vegas, and sees a blonde putting money in a soda machine. On the floor beside the blonde are stacks and stacks of soft drinks. The man asks the blonde, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" The blonde stops, looks at the man and says "Duh, I'm winning!" From A Prairie Home Companion
  • A blonde telling a joke: To get to the other side? Why did the chicken cross the road.
  • A blond, a redhead, and a brunette were hiding in a barn, throwing a party, unknown to the farmer. However, around midnight, the farmer heard noises and went out to investigate. He brought along his gun. When the blond, redhead, and brunette heard him coming, they each jumped into a sack. When the farmer poked the first bag, the brunette hiding inside it responded, "meow." The farmer, thinking it was a cat, moved on. When the farmer poked the second bag, the redhead hiding inside it responded, "woof." the farmer, thinking it was a dog, moved on the the last bag. When the farmer poked the last bag... the blond cried, "Potatoes!"
  • ha blonde
  • how do a blondes brain cells die? alone
  • You can but she might not listen. Besides it would be no fun because she won't get the joke.
  • A blonde enters a small appliance store and says she wants to buy a tv. "We don't sell to blondes" the salesman said. She left disappointed and returned in a scarf. I'd like to buy that tv. "We don't sell to blondes" the salesman said. She left confused and returned in a black wig. I'd like to buy that tv. "We don't sell to blondes" the salesman said. How do you know I'm blonde she asked? "Because it's a microwave"
  • There was a blonde and brunett and a red hed. They all died but before they went to heaven jesus said they had to make it all the way up the steps and reach the gate with out laughin at his joke. First, the brunett started walkin up the steps and jesus said his joke and the brunett left so she went to hell. Next, The red head went and jesus started sayin his joke and she laughed and went to hell too. Then, the blonde went up and started walkin and jesus started his joke and the blonde started to laugh and jesus said "why are you laughing, i havent even finished my joke" and the blonde said " Because i just now got the first one"
  • A woman is driving her car down the street when she noticed another blonde woman rowing a boat on the road. The woman gets angry and says to the other woman "you know it's girls like you that make us blondes look stpuid. if i could swim i'd go over there and teach you a lesson!"

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