ANSWERS: 9
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Take initiative. Suggest things to do, etc. Mirror his body language. If he leans forward when talking to you, you should lean forward. If he's relaxed and leaning back, you should do the same. It'll make the conversation more engaging. (I stole this tip from a collection of tips on college interviews and it works great.) Less can be more. Sometimes spending less time with a significant other can strengthen the relationship if you make every second you have with him count. So if you usually chill with him five days a week, try becoming busy so that you can only see him four times a week. This'll force you to get out and do things with him instead of just lazing around and appearing indifferent.
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I think one of the biggest fallacies about relationships is that we have to learn a whole pile of rules/behaviors/rituals to make them succeed. We are all individuals and none of us react exactly the same way to the same behaviors/inputs/stimuli. What might seem to be enthusiastic and engaged to one person might seem forced, melodramatic and disingenuous to another person. I think the key is for you to find someone who appreciates you just the way you are, rather than someone who is seeking more overt dramatic approval that you are willing to provide. Good luck. . . .
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Well J, the more I exercise with aerobics outdoors and cross-train with weights, the sexier I feel, the more interested, engaged, good humored I am. Also, the more I chant, study, take faith and leadership supporting others in my religious (Buddhist) community, the more alive I feel and the more I am living to my highest potential. The more I go out of my way and contribute to others in my job, the more valued and respected I am there. In essence, too much computer or not enough meaningful activity, as they say "makes Jane a dull girl". Note if you are indifferent at work, with your family, etc., etc.? Look at the whole picture, hun. (nb: My sense is that you are an awesome person J and I want to see you win in life!)
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My pointer is being yourself. A relationship should be acceptance not change. We always hear about how we should compromise but when we try to change ourselves we are not fooling anyone because we can not stop being who we truly are. Find someone who loves you for you and not what they want you to be. You deserve it. You should demand it.
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"Even though I don't try" Don't try to what, be enthusiastic, be indifferent....?
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I don't think it works that way..it doesn't come from outside in..it comes from inside out. If you aren't enthusiastic, all the pointers in the world won't make any difference. You've just apparently not been with anyone who floats your boat, rings your chimes or excites you. :)
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Certainly just think about me,and you will be happy.You have no idea what all the women of this world are missing out on!
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dont try to make it fit! when you meet someone you are enthusiastic about, you wont have to fake it.
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