want to help but i got one question do yu help his pornography addiction??

Smile what makes you believe it's an addiction?

1. are you jealous about this so called addiction 2. do you do your job,give him what he needs ? 3. just do what he asks for and im pretty sure that he will lower his pornography use

I have got an AB addiction. I spend time here while I should be in my bed. But I am not ashamed of what I do. Everyone can come and look over my shoulder. So if your husband only does this when he is alone at home, apparently he feels it is not good to do it when you are there. That feeling of guilt is bad enough to understand that things are out of control. I do not know how you are going to put this to him. But try to not accuse him.

I hate when women say that. Are you that insecure that you husband looking at naked photos upsets you? dont be a stick in the mud and join him, You might be suprised how it spices up your sex life.

I don't think that behavior can be classified as "addiction" unless it has a direct negative impact on one's life. To be honest, it sounds to me like the only negative effect of his behavior is your perception, which is not directly related to his behavior but rather your insecurities. I assure you that your husband has been looking at porn for DECADES, and it has not negatively affected his life until you decided it was your business.

Define addiction? What I have seen you say so far is, he won't share it with me, so therefore he has an addiction. Can he function? Does he hold a job? Give attention to you and any children you may have when together? It seems that this is how he wishes to spend his alone time. Perhaps for a better answer you need to explain more.

My husband finally admitted to being a porn addict - but not until he became my ex. There are occasional porn viewers and there are port "addicts".

You're his wife and only you are supposed to satisfy his sexuality, not images of other women or his own hand. So in a sense, he's cheating on you.

Im not trying to excuse this situation but I think this is pre-programed into men. It is nothing against you, they just do it. If it bothers you that much let him know how greatly this is effecting you.

start by not chastising him about it as it will only push him away and possibly worsen his addiction. See if you can subtly and indirectly get to the cause of his addiction. For instance: Is he is seeing things/acts that he is not getting satisfied in your relationship? Is he addicted to a specific kind? if so what kind and can you relate that to any problems you two have been having. Is he performing poorly in some area of your sexual interaction that is making him frustrated and therefor searching for a more comfortable outlet? In any of these cases the issues are almost always within him, so don't fall down the slippery slope of thinking there is something wrong with you. However, if you can figure it out, express that his actions are hurting you and ask if the reason is what you suspect (don't accuse). It may be a simple thing such as he has a longing to experiment with a particular position, or has a specific fantasy he is not comfortable asking you to participate in. These are easy to fix with communication. If it turns out he is having inadequacy issues, then be supportive and encourage him to little by little come to terms with them by rewarding his openness with compromises and sexual adventure. I'm not suggesting you use yourself to bribe him, but if you approach this from a nurturing and supportive angle, the process can prove rewarding by strengthening your relationship. If in fact it is an addiction and not an affinity, eventually he will admit it to himself if other areas of your relationship that are strengthening overshadow those areas where the problems are.

It just occured to me that if you have been trying things along this avenue to no avail, perhaps a more extreme approach may be necessary. If you are comfortable, try this. Ask to watch it with him. Not outright and confrontative, but maybe build up to it like kissing, teasing and eluding to your arousal, just wisper it into his ear. If he gets excited, stick with this groove. Kiss, touch and tease while he watches and try if you can to ignore what he is watching or that he is watching it. When he is getting closer to completing, he may start to avert his excitment towards you. On the other hand, this can be a good experiment as well if it goes the other way. If when you whisper the idea he gets instantly defensive and uncomfortable, that would be a good sign of true addiction and his discomfort regarding it. Or if he agrees and while you are "assisting" him he gets performance anxiety and wants to stop, this could also be indicating unhealthy discomfort and insecurity. I hate to say it, but if it goes negative this may be signs of a relationship that is not ever going to be healthy. On the other hand, knowing this for sure will allow you to make a level headed decision if you want to hang in there with someone who clearly has emotional problems and may not ever come to terms with them. At this point what do you have to loose? I say take the chance and get to the root of the issues. You owe it to yourself to always know where you/he stands in your relationship.

I have strong opinions on pornography. I have had my struggles with it, and that is why I am so outspoken about it. Many people say that it is not only harmless, but that it is a healthy thing for people to incorporate into their lives. That is a lie. There is a great book call "What's the Big Deal about Pornography" by Jill C. Manning, Ph.D. She has studied the effects of porn on the individual and society as a whole and it is not a good thing. She has also compiled the research of others in this book supporting her study. I have answered a question about porn before and I cited quite a bit of material from her book that you can see here: (and I got a lot of people upset with me about it) http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3465360 You shoud read this book and then have your husband read it. Even if you don't have a problem with porn, it is a fascinating read. If you have kids, you really need to read it. (It's a very sobering book about the realities and proliferation of porn in our society) I hope this helps.

If he is telling you he has an addiction it is a cry for help. i know I have been there you should look at sites like sca.com (sexual cumpulive addiction). Porn is very dangerous and will destroy your family. If your husband is willing to change then help him and support him with all your heart. If you enable him it will get worse and I can almost garantee that his addiction is worse than you think it is if he has been doing it a long time it is a deep habit that will scar your soul. Please help him!