If you had cheated on your partner and they found out about it, would you expect them to 'get over it' fairly quickly, or allow them to grieve through it their way, especially if you were going to stay together?
by 
munchkin_kids_downunder
ANSWERS: 10
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firstly I wouldn't cheat, but as a hypothetical, i would allow them whatever time was necessary, and try to do whatever they needed me to do to help them get over it. I hope you have not been on the receiving end munchkin_kids :)
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Well.. if the decision was made to stay together, I would expect my partner to deal with the situation the best way they knew how, if it means grieving through it, when someone cheats on you it's very traumatic. I would allow as much time as my partner need.
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The "injured party" is entitled to a reasonable period of anger, grief, loss of trust, etc. It may take other advice to "move on." Professional. It takes as long as it takes and may never heal or be the same as it was. How could it be? If the injured person feels they are still hurting after a year, they are not healing and should seek help for themselves. One year is arbitrary, but setting a limit on how long you will tolerate a situation is helpful in resolving it.
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I wouldn't cheat. Even in my horrid marriage, I never did. However, let's say, hypothetical scenario, that I did. I would expect a long grieving process, a huge amount of energy to rebuild trust, and would simply be thankful that he was willing to try to forgive at all.
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i definitly wouldnt excpect them to get over it just like that. i mean i would think about how bad that would hurt me!
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there are many things to consider and think about when someone has been cheated on. the first question ia why? After you find out(if they tell you the truth)then you have to way all the decisions,this process can take months.but i should think that after a year is up, that decision to stay or leave should be answered fully.if you stay with him or her,you must forgive in your heart and never bring up the past.sometimes, the partner that's cheating is not at fault,sometimes they are.good luck
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i have the same problem. my boyfreind found out yesterday, i told him after a month of keeping it from him. he says he is going to start hanging out with his friends more ike he used to before we started getting serious. he also says he was starting to see me as the girl he would marry. i dont know anymore...
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I you decided to stay together, it must mean that it has been forgiven. It should never be brought up again as the wounds will not heal. Trust is something that is hard to get back once it is lost, so allow them to get through in the way that's best for them.
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They need time. Trust me, I'm on the recieving end. And expect them to have really good days where everything is ok and other days where they are a wreck and ask lots of questions about what happened. If they have decided to try and stay with you, the least you could do is be patient with them and not rush them trough their grieving process.
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I'd allow him to grieve over it but I wouldn't allow him to throw it on my face constantly!
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