That is a tough one. Some girls are simply predisposed to think NO. I just answered another anal sex question... I'll review it here for you in a moment. The first problem you need to overcome is her worry that it is degrading. If you can prove to her that you love every inch of her and this is one are you want to try then you may be able to make a deal with her. Try it once, if you don't like it we won't do it again. If she agrees you are set but you had better not screw it up. (read below on prep). If she doesn't then ask her if you can use a finger up there. She might get to like it and get curious about having you up here. That is sort of what happened to me. When I was 16 and dating this guy I REALLY liked had me on his lap and as we kissed he pushed his finger up my anus. At first I was so embarrassed I didn't know what to do but I just sort of endured it as I didn't want to lose this guy. Well he did it more and I kind of got to like it. Later when I was almost 18 I was having sex with this guy and he asked about it. I remembered how good the fingers felt so I said yes. It hurt so bad... we were clueless... Luckily I knew a girl that had done it alot and she gave me this advice: 1) Girl need to clean herself prior to it. This means an enema. I usually get the guy to give it to me and make it part of the foreplay. 2) Lots of lube and lots of time. This is one time where the girl gets to be passive and lay there and take it. I lay on my side and my guy spends like the next 45 minutes gently pushing his fingers and dildos up me to get me ready. 3) Finally he gets to push in me. Doggy style works best. I get on my hands and knees, he comes up behind with a finger full of lube and puts that up me then puts some on himself. Then he SLOWLY pushes in. The bad thing for the girl here is air. As he pushes in, any air inside of the girl tends to want to come out and sometimes rather loudly. This is where she needs to trust that you will not laugh. It will be embarrassing. It always is. Once in you are ready and can go but be gentle and ask her if ok to come inside. It can feel pretty weird for the girl when it comes out. Hope that helps.

OH god I feel so sorry for you. Only time will help you on this one. If it took three years to just get oral then your gonna have a tougher time with anal. I would say in this you should just not say anything but every once in awhile try it when she's not expecting it. The other thing you could do is ask her when shes really horny. Get her almost to orgasm when her heads not right and then drop the question. Most ladies will say yes to anything as will men too.

Harrassing her about it will get you nowhere. At best it will cause strain in your relationship. It is one thing to talk about sex with your wife and discuss desires and another thing to not respect her limits and wishes. Not every woman is going to do anal, just something you have to accept.

If she is not into it... how do you know you'll enjoy it? It will very probably be a disaster. How hard core is your love making? . I know this will sound crazy... but I would recommend saving up some money and going to a pro. . You sound like you have a good marriage (three kids!) and this is a strain that might not be necessary. . Truthfully...I have never been married... so I may be spouting junk.