I'm not sure it could be done, short of intensive psychotherapy and maybe electroshock! (Just kidding about the electroshock - or maybe not!) However, I assume you mean what can the average person do about someone in their life who chronically lies, even when there is no reason for it. Long ago and far away, one of my college roommates was a pathological lier. Her friends and I could have understood lying to get out of something, but she would lie about everyday things like where she went over the weekend, what restaurant she went to with a date, what she ate, who she met/knew, where she had bought something and how much it cost, how she did on a test, etc. The thing was, she came from a well-to-do familly and we knew for a fact (some of us having met them and stayed in their home) that her parents were well-connected in Washington society and she had a pretty exciting life for real! She certainly didn't need to lie about that part, but she did! To top it iff, sometimes the lies made her life look worse than it was rather than better! We tried a number of things, none of which worked, so I guess this answer is about what probably isn't worth trying! 1. Outright disbelief - "You're making that up!" - This only made her deny the accusation, elaborate on the lie, and/or get mad. Didn't change her behavior. 2. Going along with it. Obviously THIS didn't work! 3. Appearing to go along, but letting your affect express disbilief. "Oh, yeah, right...." (Like I believe that.) - She ignored the scepticism. 4. Ignoring her lies, i.e. not paying any attention when she told one of her "whoppers". This might have stood a chance of working, but not everyone was in on our plans, so she was still free to tell her stories to others and get the gratification she wanted. Also, she was GOOD. Often you couldn't tell if what she was telling you was a lie or not so you didn't know how to react - or not react, as the case may be. 5. Not believing anything she told you. This made her frustrated, didn't stop her from telling lies to other people, and alienated her from our group. This wasn't acceptable to us, as she was fun to have around and in other respects a good friend. Also, I don't ever remember that any of the stories she told were malicious. OK - so I suppose we could have gotten really tough and all confronted her together in a "tough love" scenario, but we were just a bunch of college kids in the 70's hanging out together!

Usually people lie because they are afraid of the consequences of the truth. The only way to get someone to stop lying to you, is to change the reactions that one might have after hearing the truth. Therefore causing the person doing the lying not to feel compelled to lie in order to protect themselves from the potentially harmful negative emotional reaction of the other person. There is a quote that I find fitting about this subject: "The [person], whose behavior indicates, that [they] will make a scene if [they are] told the truth, asks to be deceived.” ~~Elizabeth Jenkins.

The quote about the recipient of the "lie" being responsible for being lied to - is ridiculous - i understand it totally ---- but regardless for the reason for the lie or the consequences arising from the recipient -----the lier is still afraid to face the truth --and it is their personality that needs correction here. they need more confidence in themselves ---to tell the truth --regardless of the consequences.

The number one rule of therapy is "You cannot change anyone except yourself" The only thing you can do, is not engage or interact with this person, which will prevent you from enabling their lies and manipulation. Or you can just take everything they say with a grain of salt and take the attitude that there really is nothing you can do to stop their lies....

First off, I agree with the person who wrote that we cannot change anyone else; only ourselves. WE have choices of whether or not WE will allow others to be dishonest with us. Our life is in our own hands, but we give so much power over to others by worrying over their disfunctions. I have a compulsive liar for a husband. I used to beat my chest and wonder why I wasn't worthy of honesty from him. I am a good and honest person who shared everything with him. Once the lying was uncovered (it took awhile - he is phenominal at lying, which is not a compliment to liars by the way)I tried to "show" him with love and gentility that it wasn't necessary in our relationship - that he was "safe" with me. Then it became glaringly obvious that it wasn't about me or how he felt about me. It was (is) about HIM. When he lies now I will a) Immediately tell him that I know he is lying and I don't want to hear anymore - then I walk away. b) Bring the inconsistencies to his attention and tell him that he cannot hurt me with his lies anymore. c) Tell him that I am not going to stroke his ego by pretending to believe the b.s. he is saying. I don't care how harsh this sounds, because if someone wants to be treated with dignity, they should behave with dignity. That is my new mantra. :)

my question is how do you deal with a family member who is constantly telling mean awful lies about you? ignoring it doesn't make it go away, just got more crazy, and confronting it has brought my whole family into hell.

ive my fiance stop lying compulsively.i was always ture and honest with him.when i wasnt i felt like i was the bad guy,i thought he always turthful to me until he grew up and told me the truth.i was blinded by love and i didnt notice that he was takeing advantage over me.when he told me everything hed lied about i was hurt and i was also proud. i was proud because he loves me enough to feel guilty of diseveing me.i think he told me all of the truth for what he had lied about because i strated to relize he was lying i was falling out of love with him i was just opening my eyes. i caught him in a couple lies and my trust for him declined.he was getting worried and he didnt want to loose me.so he confesed about everything.he knew i was gunna hurt but he also knew it was the right thing to do. so i believe love has the power to change someones compulsive lying.