by browneyedbeauty on December 20th, 2006

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What would you do if your straight A 16 year old daughter came to you and confessed she was pregnant? would you cast her out? (dont worry I am not pregnant..my friend does not know how to tell her parents. I need to help her)

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Answers. 23 helpful answers below.

by Darryl61 on December 20th, 2006
My children and I have always had a policy of total honesty, and my love for them is unconditional. Nothing that could ever happen in their lives could ever change that. I don't know what the relationship is between your friend and her parents, but I can only recommend the open, honest approach.

Edit: Goody! Some little coward actually downrated me for being open and honest with my kids! Bet I know who it was!
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- are you referring to me? because i dont do that sort of thing, even if i dont like you.
  
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  by keetypie1 on December 21st, 2006
- I rated you up, D.
  
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  by debsmooth on March 19th, 2007
- who knows why some idiots do what they do? They just do. Go figure/
  
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  by Rebelheart on February 24th, 2009
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by --PEACHES-- on December 20th, 2006
If i was your friends parents i would want her to come to me and tell me she is pregnant i won't cast her out our anything i will like her to come and tell me everything like that i won't want her to hide it from me .......... but if she is very close to her parents she should tell them that she is pregnant don't be scared to tell them..... if she is not close to them then she should ask someone to come with her to tell them but she should tell them and let them know she is pregnant and how she feels.... Don;t give up your baby if you don't want to...... Do what is right in your heart if you want to keep it then do if your parents should understand and and supported you all the way.....
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by keetypie1 on December 20th, 2006
most people arent that understanding. i suggest getting an abortion, 16 is too early to have a child. if shes worried about the moral issues of the situation ask her what kind of life she could provide a child after being thrown out of her home, especially when, even if she can get a job, she would be paid the minimum junior wage, before being sacked before 18 so the company can save money. otherwise, let her bunk with a friend until she can find her feet. it's a bit of a controversial issue really.
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- I dont know why people would downrate your answer when it is just as logical as being honest.
  
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  by browneyedbeauty on December 21st, 2006
- i make enemies easily - it was probably because im prochoice.
  
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  by keetypie1 on December 21st, 2006
- hm. I make enemies easily too simply because I speak whats on my mind when I feel. I get in trouble with authorities and teachers very often simply because of that fact.
  
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  by browneyedbeauty on December 21st, 2006
- yay someone else like me :) its so irritating when people automatically rate you down without giving you a good reason, eg this answer^^ honestly, grow some balls and tell me what your problem is, and ill do my best not to bitch about it if its within reason.
  
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  by keetypie1 on December 21st, 2006
- haha true, its just that your answer is most likely what will happen too. the most true to the issue.
  
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  by browneyedbeauty on December 22nd, 2006
- thank you, its nice to acknowledged when im right, even when right wing prolifers rate me down for it. folks, if youre arguing that its against gods will, he was all for abortion! See:
  Hosea 13:16 God promises to dash to pieces the infants of Samaria and their "women with child shall be ripped up"
  Numbers 31:17 (Moses) "Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every women that hath known man by lying with him".
  Hosea 9:11-16 Hosea prays for Gods intervention. "Ephraim shall bring forth his children to the murderer. Give them, 0 Lord: what wilt thou give? Give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts. . .Ephraim is smitten, their root is dried up, they shall bear no fruit: yea though they bring forth, yet will I slay even the beloved fruit of their womb". God obeyed Hosea's prayers by making all unborn children miscarry. Isn't that classed as unnatural causes for a miscarriage? wouldn't that mean ABORTION?
  
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  by keetypie1 on December 23rd, 2006
- pretty much Im thinking..but its such a controversial issue that people get so offended.
  
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  by browneyedbeauty on December 23rd, 2006
- im beyond caring anymore. im tired of all the whiny right wing, bush loving prolife tools that refuse to accept that i think differently to them. i dont know why im even here anymore, i dont even like this website...
  
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  by keetypie1 on December 23rd, 2006
- why not? they're not all like that. im not.
  
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  by browneyedbeauty on December 23rd, 2006
- i dont even like the computer. the only reason i use it is to talk to people at midnight, when i get home from work and 9.30am when im about to leave. answerbag, msn and yahoo fill in the space.
  
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  by keetypie1 on December 24th, 2006
- and merry christmas. dont you just love pagan holidays altered to suit bible stories?
  
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  by keetypie1 on December 24th, 2006
- haha I know huh? wow you have some good points! im on here because I cant go anywhere else..my dad is psycho and just because I slept in till 11 am today he thinks I am hungover..or on some new drug. even tho he knows Im done with that..its so lame. ive been clean and sober for 3 months now and he just likes me to not have a social life..but merry christmas my good-point friend.
  
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  by browneyedbeauty on December 24th, 2006
- :D my parents are worried about me coz im going to japan on exchange next year and one of the interview questons was "if some american soldiers asked me to wop school to go out with them would you?" my dad nearly had a heart attack coz i said yes. cheers to you my sober friend, have a marvelous xmas!
  
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  by keetypie1 on December 24th, 2006
- haha I would so do that too! and marvelous xmas with my family? ha nice one. more like screaming and bitching the whole damn day. just like every other day. christ's so called birthday is no exception to my family.
  
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  by browneyedbeauty on December 24th, 2006
- lmao christs birthday was in september! my xmas is just about over, its 5pm now, YAY!!!!!!! today i found out that my cousin is a racist cousin. apparently my uncle taught him to be a racist, homophobic christian. along with my pop and other uncle i now have 4 racists in my family that i know of. peachy. im the first non-christian in my entire extended family, i love the religious arguments i have :)
  
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  by keetypie1 on December 24th, 2006
- wow that makes pleasant family discussions, ya? xmas is tomorrow for me..in 2 hrs to be exact..but my grandma (by marriage) is super racist. she blames every problem she has on "colored people". she also gets completely pissed off when a clerk at walmart or some place similiar says happy holidays because she says we celibrate xmas and if they dont like it they can go back to their own countries..which is very embarassing while standing in line at kmart or walmart..fun fun fun.
  
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  by browneyedbeauty on December 24th, 2006
- wow ouch. where i live is predominantly white but my racist relatives only whinge when none are nearby. if any of my relatives did that while i was there i would yell and scream and nearly kill them. clerks are obligated to say merry xmas! i work at a thai restaurant and every time someone leaves i feel obligated to say "merry xmas". i feel like biting my tongue off its that cliched. are you american? coz if you are mention something about the native americans being there first and that technically shes an immigrant too. i should try that on my uncle... he'll probably say smething about aboriginals being alcoholic derros, sadly... terrible catholic school upbringing in a white suburb... racism usually ensues :(
  
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  by keetypie1 on December 26th, 2006
- I know..I work at a smoothie place and for the last 2 weeks before we closed for the holidays I have been supposed to been saying merry xmas but there is a lot of different types of people that come into our shop and I just dont like the feeling of not knowing whether you offended them or not so instead I have been saying happy holidays..my boss hasnt said anything about it mainly because I think she would look bad if she tried. But yeah my grandma was just raised in that time era..but it is still annoying and totally wrong. I wonder how much it is really going to affect you if you change merry xmas to happy holidays to make at least a few people feel better..its a little sacrifice and its so stupid when people dont, I think personally, its LAME.
  
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  by browneyedbeauty on December 26th, 2006
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by Damiana on December 20th, 2006
Try my best to help her figure out what she now wants to do and what is best for her. I would be a supportive parent, but I realize that's not always the case in most families. Some parents may have extreme reactions. I feel honesty is best, but it depends on her home situation and whether or not her parents have expressed their views on the subject. It's really nice that you're wanting to help your friend.
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by Rebelheart on February 24th, 2009
For the life of me, I don't know what having straight A's would have to do with it. But, to answer your question, we would face that difficulty just like we face everyother difficulty. Together, with love, with understanding, and with all the help I could offer.
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- Great answer.
  
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  by Spicy Hot on May 18th, 2009
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by singwell-is off researching a lot on March 19th, 2007
Naturally, I would be pretty upset...but I couldn't throw her out. There would be some difficult times before we all accepted the idea, but she is my child, and her child my grandchild.
Your friend is going to have to bite the bullet and tell her parents. Maybe you and your mum could go with her, to make the telling easier, and calm down anyone who needs to be calmed down. It won't be easy. But she isn't the first, and she won't be the last. All the best.
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by spooner on September 20th, 2009
The worst thing she could do is not tell them as soon as possible. I can't say how she should tell them exactly but she should be straight forward and honest with them. Maybe she should have a friend with her for moral support if she thinks that will help. Only she knows how her parents might react but I bet that after the shock and disappointment they will be supportive. I'm sure they love her and won't dump her for making a mistake.
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- good answer. True as well.
  
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  by Rawwr on September 20th, 2009
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by brian646 on September 19th, 2009
if i had a 16 yr old smart pregnant daughter, i would not cast her out.........that is kind of abandoning your family.........your friend needs to tell her parent's.......if she does not, they will obviously know this in a few months......take care.....Brian......
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by stagood on May 18th, 2009
Since we do not know what her parents are like we can't say how they will react. If they are good loving parents they will be there for her and being she is a straight A student might help, she has brains and potential going for her, she just made a mistake. No one is perfect
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by Empress of Everything Ever on March 19th, 2007
Well, they would not be much as parents if they cast her out. Disappointment would be there and your friend must prepare herself for that. But I would not cast a daughter out. I would ask why she let herself get pregnant.
Your friend must tell her parents that she is pregnant, but before she should talk to her partner and tell him, she should be thinking ahead of time about what she wants to do about her pregnancy, about what her partner wants to do. Your friend should research for herself what to wexpect from each option she faces, ie abortion, adoption, keeping, so she can talk to her parents about it. I imagine that they are going to be shocked, and angry and probably loud about it, but in the end she and they have to sit down and work out the best possible solution that satisfies everybody concerned. Remind your friend that in resolving this solution she may need tact and patience and counselling from an outside source and that in the end it is her decision that SHE has to live with and that SHE has to look at herself in the mirror and live with her decision.
I am not advocating having or keeping or abortion, merely living with the decision. Whatever course she chooses should be best for her (not her parents or the neighbours) and if she chooses to have the baby then her decision must encompass her baby's welfare too.
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by Anonymous on September 20th, 2009
I'm not a parent, but I'd like to think I would help her. Moral beliefs should not get in the way of helping others who need it. I'd take her for counseling so she could learn more about her options, and then I'd talk with her about what she wants to do. I'd let her make the final decision, but if she wanted to keep the baby, I'd make her work to support it.
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by cArAmEL_bAb13 on September 20th, 2009
wow her parents are going to be really dissapointed she should tell them soon when my friend got pregnant she got an infection from not knowing how to take care of herself
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by domino47 on May 18th, 2009
you can be with her for moral support when she tells them. maybe it was a mistake, but it happened, and you need to discuss where to go from here.

i heard a story of parents who had a daughter who got pregnant, and she had an abortion w/out telling them what happened. Turned out it was an illegal abortion, things went wrong, and the girl either had serious complications or died (can't remember). the parents just wished the daughter would have told them from the beginning so they could help her.

sorry about the situation. you're a good friend for trying to help.
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by KathrynS on March 19th, 2007
I would not cast daughter out for anything she did, everyone makes mistakes, I would be upset about it, I would hope my daughter would wait ,but things happen. It is another life that you have to take into consideration. It is something we already have discussed since she was 12. Pregnancy is a life changing thing for the whole family, Your giving 18 years up at least, the girl needs to tell her parents, get a doctors help, and discuss her options, its hard to tell the parents but they will find out sooner or later. You can`t not tell them because of fear of their reaction. If your old enough to get pregnant and be a parent, your old enough to talk to your parents.
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by Anonymous on March 19th, 2007
I would not cast her out at all just kind of wounder where her common sense is at!!
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by Magicialsoul on March 19th, 2007
if i am her,I would tell my parents about it.I would not cash her out.
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by MyGiveaDamnsBusted on May 18th, 2009
If I were the parent I would be upset and disapointed but happy she was able to come to me and tell me rather than have an abortion behind my back or run away. I would most definatly help her...once the shock of the situation had passed. I know it's tough for some teens to talk to their parents about things but it's the best thing to do. I'd still love my daughter nothing would change that and I would definatly not cast her out of the family.
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by hartdaniel on May 18th, 2009
As a parent placed in a similar situation in which my daughter did not do the right thing, I will tell you she needs to tell her parents.
The reaction may not be what she is expecting.
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by Anonymous on June 27th, 2009
If the parents did kick her out, they wouldn't be true parents. And if they do, she needs to get over it and forget them... (which they probably won't kick her out.) Yes, her life is going to be total drama. But her parents will probably understand if she tells them the positive and not the negative.
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by molly on May 18th, 2009
she may just tell them
there not gonna kick her out and disown her - shes carring there grandchild one that they are goin to dote over when it is born.
i got pregnant when i was 17
my parents were super supportive thank god
but they were obviously very angry at first - thats natural .
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by Ditto on May 18th, 2009
I would accept it immediately and assist her in any way I can.
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by Factotum on May 18th, 2009
I could never do such a thing, and I would find a way to make sure she could continue to go to school.
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by keithold is a prodigal bagger on March 19th, 2007
G'day Browneyed Beauty,

Thank you for your question.

It is hypothetical in my case but I would offer to support her in whatever decision she made. If she decided to have the child I would help her look after the child and encourage her to continue studying. If she was in love with the father of the child, I would let them stay with me while they get on their feet. If not, I would encourage her to get effective birth control but I would do that earlier.

It is in crises like those that family support is so important. She isn't the first sixteen year old to get pregnant and she won't be the last so it is important for her family and friends to be there for her.

Regards
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Question

What would you do if your straight A 16 year old daughter came to you and confessed she was pregnant? would you cast her out? (dont worry I am not pregnant..my friend does not know how to tell her parents. I need to help her)

Answers. 23 helpful answers below.

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