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by polishdude20 on December 20th, 2006

polishdude20

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Anyone know any "Your Momma" Jokes?

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Answers. 52 helpful answers below.

  • by TheAnswerer on December 20th, 2006

    TheAnswerer

    Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone!

    Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear!

    Yo mama's mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound!

    Yo mama's teeth are so yellow she spits butter!

    Yo mama's so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared!

    Yo mama's so short she does backflips under the bed!

    Yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her drivers licence!

    Yo mama's so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

    Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!

    Yo mama's so greasy companies buy their Oil from her!

    Yo mama's so flat she's jealous of the wall!

    Yo mama's so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers!

    Yo mama's so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning!

    Yo mama's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs!

    Yo mama's so bald you can see whats on her mind!

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  • by Why Should I on March 31st, 2008

    Why Should I

    Yo Mama's so stupid she sold her car for gas money.

    Yo mama so fat that she haves to give directions so you can shake her hand.

    Yo Mama so skinny and ugly that when she turns sideways, you can't see her. And when she turns toward you, you wish she'd turn sideways again.

    Yo mama so stupid that she threw all the MnMs with W's on them in the trash.

    Yo mama so stupid she spent all day putting the MnMs in alphebitical order.

    Yo mama so fat that when she was at the beach, the whales pulled her in the ocean and started singing, "WE ARE FAMILY, EVEN KNOW YOU'RE FATTER THAN ME!"

    Yo mama so ugly that you got your looks from her.

    Yo mama so fat that when she saw a yellow bus go bye, she started running down the road screaming, "GET THAT TWINKIE!"

    Yo mama so stupid, that when she was getting ready to go to the super bowl, she brought a spoon.

    Yo mama so ugly and fat that there isn't a single joke to explain it.

    That's all I got.

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  • by Rayray07 on August 10th, 2007

    Rayray07

    Yo mama so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

    Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

    Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on to her good side!

    Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

    Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

    Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

    HA! Great jokes, love the fat jokes the best. You should totally come check out this new site, http://yomomma.tv/ – you can battle other people with your yo momma jokes and even tell them how whack their jokes are.

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  • by Kevisaurus is a Carnotaurus today on July 3rd, 2007

    Kevisaurus is a Carnotaurus today

    Yo mama's so stupid she fell up the stairs.
    Yo mama's so fat that every time she walks it's a seismic event.
    Yo mama's so ugly that she had you. (oh feel the burn)
    Yo mama's so dense that she made the periodic table as a new element.
    Yo mama's so old that paleontologists keep wanting to examine her.

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  • by Fun on July 3rd, 2007

    Fun

    Yo momma is so dumb that she got lost in the supermarket and starved to death!

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  • by Smart2 is back! Did you miss me? on July 3rd, 2007

    Smart2 is back! Did you miss me?

    yo momma is so fat - she needs her own zip code

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  • by unwantedguilt on July 3rd, 2007

    unwantedguilt

    yo mama is so fat you need a plane and two grayhounds to get on her good side.

    yo momma is so stupid she stared at the orange juice bottle for an hour and a half because it said concentrate.

    yo momma is so stupid she lost a game of tic tac toe one in a row.

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  • by Starmaster on May 24th, 2007

    Starmaster

    Your momma sucks...but I didn't have the five dollars...

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  • by Nickr893 on December 20th, 2006

    Nickr893

    Yo momma's so hairy, shes got afros on her nipples.

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  • by ShikkaBoomBoom on August 17th, 2009

    ShikkaBoomBoom

    Yo mama so ugly when she went to the psychiatrist they had to make her lie facedown

    Yo mama so ugly they moved Halloween to her birthday

    Yo mama so fat when she had the flesh eating disease the doctors gave her 87 years to live

    Yo mama so old when she was in school they had no history lessons

    Yo mama so old when I told her to start acting her age she died

    Yo mama so ugly when she goes to the bank they turn the cameras off

    Yo mama so old when she went to the antique shop they kept her there

    Yo mama so old when she was born, rainbows were black and white

    Yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor slapped her parents

    Yo mama so fat she wore a brown suit and played as the rolling boulder in Indiana Jones

    Yo mama so fat she has to use a map to find out where her ass is

    Yo mama so skinny wen she took a shower she fell through the drain

    Yo mama so stupid she got hit by a parked car

    Yo mama so fat when she ate a handful of skittles she farted out the rainbow

    Yo mama so tall she did a jumping jack and double-slapped God

    Yo mama so ugly she's the reason why aliens haven't invaded our planet yet

    Yo mama so fat her shadow weighs a hundred pounds

    Yo mama so old she left her purse on Noah's ark

    Yo mama so fat she became the 8th wonder of the architectural world

    Yo mama so stupid she ate hot cheetos and got brain freeze

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  • by africalicious on September 17th, 2008

    africalicious

    yo mama's house is so small,when u turn in bed u fall out of the house.
    yo mama is so poor,when i came to visit and asked to use the toilet she told me to pick a corner.
    yo mama is so tall,god gives her a slap at the back of the head when she sins.
    yo mama is so tall,when she swallows fresh milk it gets to the stomach sour.
    yo mama's so black,god sends her a bill for using up the sunlight.
    yo mama's so skinny,she has to run round the shower to get wet.
    yo mama's so tall,when she takes a photo,the words "to be continued" appear on the picture.

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  • by Matt Adore on July 3rd, 2007

    Matt Adore

    Yo Mamma so fat, they needed a satellite to take her passport photo.

    OR:

    Yo Mamma so ugly, when she was born, the midwife slapped yo Grandma.

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  • by El Soupy spanish for the soupy on July 3rd, 2007

    El Soupy spanish for the soupy

    your mama is so fat she uses Mayonnaise as toothpaste

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  • by Elleonora on July 3rd, 2007

    Elleonora

    there are none.

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  • by thatdruidgal on July 3rd, 2007

    thatdruidgal

    This site for a huge resource...
    http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html

    or for the T.V. show

    http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/yo_momma/videos.jhtml

    Not that the show was any good, but that should fill you up and entertain your need to crack Yo Mama jokes.


    By the way, yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

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  • by slothmister on July 3rd, 2007

    slothmister

    Your mum is so dumb she tried to board a plane with her bus pass!

    Your mum is so fat her waist size is equator!

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  • by Koz - Passion Perseverance Patience on July 3rd, 2007

    Koz - Passion Perseverance Patience

    Your mama so big, she wears her house.
    Your mama so old, her first boyfriend invented fire.
    Your mama so mean, she wears a surgeon generals warning on her chest.
    Your mama so ugly, the Swan uses her as a template.

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  • by jtolb65 on July 3rd, 2007

    jtolb65

    Yo mama so fat...

    when she wears high heels she strikes oil.

    when she walks backwards there's a beeping sound.

    she has to wear commercial license plates on her ass.

    I leave more for others who want to post.

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  • by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on May 24th, 2007

    Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today

    Yo mamas so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.

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  • by I'm Just Along For The Ride on August 15th, 2011

    I'm Just Along For The Ride

    I do remember this company memo passed around years ago concerning the employee restroom..

    "If you sprinkle when you tinkle clean up after yourself..Your MAMA don't work here!"

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  • by Friendly Stranger on August 15th, 2011

    Friendly Stranger

    This one made me laugh when I first heard it:

    "Your mamma is so fat that she has to iron her pants on a driveway"..

    Its funny because when you think about how big a driveway is, then this joke is completely absurd.

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  • by car audio crazy on December 13th, 2007

    car audio crazy

    yo momma's so fat when she walked in front of my favorit show i missed the whole season

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  • by Zandalee.Lonely.Lunatic.3yrs-here on November 7th, 2007

    Zandalee.Lonely.Lunatic.3yrs-here

    Your mom is so poor I saw her kicking around a can, I asked her what she was doing and she said "moving".

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  • by ben 10 freak on November 7th, 2007

    ben 10 freak

    ya mums so fat she brought a spoon to the super-bowl

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  • by ben 10 freak on November 7th, 2007

    ben 10 freak

    ya mum so fat she had to be babtised in sea world

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  • by Znicest on July 9th, 2007

    Znicest

    Your mama is so fat she fell in love....and broke it!!!

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  • by dreamtxhim sends love to the dance floor on July 8th, 2007

    dreamtxhim sends love to the dance floor

    Yo momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she saw her phone number.

    Yo momma's like a ceiling fan: turn her on, and she'll blow everything in the room.

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  • by unknown on July 8th, 2007

    unknown

    Yo Mama so skinny..She turned sideways, and disappeared.

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  • by Tren10 on July 8th, 2007

    Tren10

    Yo mama has more chins than a chinese phone book

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  • by BrokeDog on May 24th, 2007

    BrokeDog

    Yo Momma's so big, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck!

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  • by Inspector Javert on May 24th, 2007

    Inspector Javert

    Yo momma's so fat, she played the moon in E.T.

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  • by J and B on May 24th, 2007

    J and B

    Yo mama is so short she can walk under a shadow!

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  • by BenThere HR on May 24th, 2007

    BenThere HR

    Your Mommas so fat she beeps when she backs up.

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  • by pRiNcE fan on May 24th, 2007

    pRiNcE fan

    Yo mommas so fat, she went to an all you can eat resteraunt and she ate ALL YOU CAN EAT!
    Sorry, that was kinda corny, im not the "yo momma" type! =)

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  • by Kevisaurus is a Carnotaurus today on May 24th, 2007

    Kevisaurus is a Carnotaurus today

    Your Momma's so fat:
    she sits 'around' the house.
    her blood type is Twinkie.
    she has to do the ironing in the drive way.
    she affects the Richter Scale when she walks
    she needs a crane to get out of bed
    she has her own zip code.
    her belt size is the equator.
    she has more Chins than a Chinese phone book
    her picture is posted at every buffet to not let in.
    she had to buy a whole graveyard for when she dies.
    she can touch her head with her own belly fat, by having it go under her crotch, and up her back till it touches her head.

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  • by TERRYTUKER on August 17th, 2009

    TERRYTUKER

    your momma is so ugly she uses a line of make up named why bother.
    Your momma is so bald even a wig wouldn't help.
    Your momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush.

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  • by curiousjc on January 10th, 2011

    curiousjc

    Yo momma so stupid she tried to pay off her credit card debt with her credit card.

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  • by CaRbOnPrOdUcK is Baccuss on August 17th, 2009

    CaRbOnPrOdUcK is Baccuss

    I'd be lying if I told you I didn't....
    LYING ON YO MAMMA

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  • by Cal on August 15th, 2011

    Cal

    No. Too immature for me. I'm into sophisticated sarcasm and puns or nerd comedy.

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  • by SillySusy on May 24th, 2007

    SillySusy

    your momma's so fat, when she stepped on the scale,i t said to be continued...

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  • by formichinoo on August 15th, 2011

    formichinoo

    Mama arrived home at LAX from her holiday in Mexico, immigration when searching her, poked around a little too hard, and two illegal immigrants fell out.

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  • by debodun on March 31st, 2008

    debodun

    Yo momma's so dumb she though "The Sopranos" was a show about opera singers.

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  • by anurag on September 17th, 2008

    anurag

    Yo Mama
    What's the difference between yo' mama and the Titanic?
    The Titanic sunk and yo' mama floated.
    Yo'mama so dumb that the psychic friends only charge her 1/2 price to read her mind.
    Yo' mama got such bad dandruff, the principal declared a snow day!
    Yo' mama's so dumb she thought Subway made trains.
    Yo' mama's so dumb, she went to a movie that said, "Under 18 not admitted," so she left to go get 17 of her friends.
    Yo' mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.
    Yo' mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

    For More ... Visit http://sweet-jokes.blogspot.com/

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  • by eltarua on September 17th, 2008

    eltarua

    Your Momma's so fat, I wear her necklace as my belt.
    Your Momma's so ugly, your dad brings her to work just so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
    Your Momma's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat everyone thought it was a taxi.
    Your Momma's so fat, children hide beneath her to shelter from the rain.

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  • by curiousjc on January 10th, 2011

    curiousjc

    Ya mommas so stupid she thinks all organic food comes from Oregon.

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  • by Takei-Shihan on August 31st, 2009

    Takei-Shihan

    Yo Momma is so ugly that she has little red circles on her body from where the brave people would touch her with a ten foot pole ...

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  • by Fiddle Playing Creole Bastard on August 17th, 2009

    Fiddle Playing Creole Bastard

    Your mama is so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

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  • by Slipshod Wombat and Co. on August 17th, 2009

    Slipshod Wombat and Co.

    Yo momma's so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone!

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  • by redsox on January 22nd, 2008

    redsox

    No i do not know any yet.

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  • by mrsrossiii on March 24th, 2008

    mrsrossiii

    Yo Mamma is fat her belt size is equator.

    And I can say this because my mother finds them hilarious as well!

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More Questions. Additional questions in this category.

You're reading Anyone know any "Your Momma" Jokes? - which can also be phrased in the following ways:

  • Does anyone know some "your mommas...." ?we have an on going battle at work as to who can think up the most
  • Does anyone know any good ya mum jokes?
  • Do you got any mama jokes?

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