Cheer up, kiddo.

Poop. Poop is funny!!

I fall out of the bed today, again.

This is funny. Oh jeez.

McCain Palin

I have 2 funny things to tell you!! 1.) We had a woman come into the emergency room today because she injured her knee kicking a dinner roll!!!!! 2.) We have had a guy coming to the emergency room for 5 weeks now 3-4 times a day for getting drunk off listerine and passing out at places like big lots, wal-mart and other local grocery stores. Hope you giggled. I got TONS of emergency rooms stories if ya ever need a laugh

no I had to take it off the frame just because I always fall out of it. Hell Im ashamed to admit I walk into walls as well. And Im always spilling shit.

TWENTY EIGHT LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, how the F**K did I wind up on the kitchen floor medicine. 12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it! 17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 18 . Procrastinate Now! 19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. 25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music. 28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

That was funny, Thank you! I loved the Nyquil one. lol.

http://www.break.com/index/try-not-to-laugh.html omg the last lady http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iys86OcXPY8 40 seconds omg

This will not make you laugh, but it will make you feel better. Axe

A guy goes to the Local Council to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?' He answers 'Yes - caffeine' 'Have you ever been in the services?' 'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.' The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points towards employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way? The guy says, 'Yes 100%...a bomb exploded near me and blew my testicles off.' The interviewer tells the guy, 'O. K. In that case, I can hire you right now. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan to start at 10 AM every day.' The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?' ' 'This is a council job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.'

Lol

An old priest who for years had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital, lay dying in the hospital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse. "I would really like to see Barack Obama and Joe Biden before I die," he whispered. "I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse, and she respectfully forwarded the request to the DNC and waited for a response. Surprisingly, soon the word arrived. Obama and Biden would be delighted to visit the priest. As they made their way to the hospital, Obama commented to Biden, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but the media coverage will certainly help our images." Biden couldn't help but agree. When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Biden's hand in his right hand and Obama's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the ancient cleric's face. Finally Biden spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?" Taking a deep breath, the old priest painfully replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior." "Amen," said Obama. "Amen," said Biden. The old priest continued, "He died between two lying thieves and I would like to do the same."

Eddie always cheers me up...

YOUR FACE