My friend currently commited suicide. He had schzophrenia and depression. And anger issues. is it my fault that he did it and i couldnt help?
by 
89bravo
ANSWERS: 18
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Absolutely not. I have no idea what your situation was but I can tell you from experience that when dealing with an illness like schizophrenia, there's little to no chance that a person with no training in this area can handle the situation. I'm very sorry for you and for your friend but please don't blame yourself.
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You can't ever blame yourself for someone else's actions even though that's always our first reaction. You are no worse of a friend for not being able to control what someone else decides to do.
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It is not your fault he committed suicide. Please do not feel guilty or think you could have prevented it. I do not understand how someone could actually carry out such a final act but I am sure they must feel as though their misery is overwhelming and unending. It is tragic and so many victims (such as you) are created afterwards. If coping with this becomes too much please talk to someone about it. You do not have to deal with it alone. Not to sound so common but something of this nature can be hard to handle and talking it out .. especially with others who have went through it may help. When someone commits suicide it is their inability to handle things emotionally I believe and not caused by you. If you are not sure how you feel about support groups and the like.. there is one that will help you via email and you will get feedback from many of the members.. not just one. I urge you to try it so that you are not feeling guilty and adding to your grief. Sorry for your loss griefnet.org
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no, not your fault at all. He must have had a chemical imbalance in his brain that lead to his other mental sicknesses. The suicidal tendency is very common in such person. It can never be your fault. He needed medical intervention and medical attention. You could have done only as much as you could do have as a friend. Seek some counseling for yourself and take comfort to know he is at peace now and you were the best friend he could ever had.
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Suicide is a very sad and tragic end to issues that can be dealt with and solved. If those who commit suicide could look back prior, and see the hurt left with those that loved them and tried time and time again to help, they would never take the move. Please do not think that it is your fault. Sadly if someone wishes to take their own life, there is sometimes very little that can be done to stop them.
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oh gosh, honey, no. schizophrenia is a terrible debilitating illness. this unfortunately happens to a lot of people with schizophrenia. trust me, you did everything you could by being his friend. I'm very sorry for your loss but really, don't blame yourself. there was nothing you could have done. take care of yourself, i know what it's like to loose a friend.
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i recently tried to commit suicide myself and almost succeeded... and i know that your friend would never want you to blame yourself. especially with having schizophrenia he was pretty much in another state of mind. he probably wasnt thinking clearly and was consumed by and fighting what was going on within himself (as i call it personal/inner demons. there was nothing you could have done. i know your friends death may be hard to deal with and you are blaming yourself for not being there to stop him. but you arent superman. sometimes you cant always save the person you care about. which sucks. anyway... it may be good for yourself to find someone or a therapist who you can talk to about this... it may do alot of good. i wish you the best and im sorry to hear about your loss.
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I am so sorry for your situation. The guilt you are experiencing is normal. You had no way of knowing what he would do. Mental illness can make people do things that they would not do under normal circumstances. Below are articles that I hope you find to be of some comfort. I am sure you were a good friend to him. http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2001/10/22/article_02.htm http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2001/10/22/diagram_03.htm
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No, no, no, it is definitely not your fault! While I have great compassion for you and your friend, your answer is right in your question. Depression and schizophrenia are mental illnesses, and can only sometimes be helped by medication. Jaimelynn is right. Your friend probably wasn't thinking clearly, and there was nothing you could do. Please don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure your friend didn't want you to feel this way.
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The other answers here are fabulous. It sounds like your friend had a very dangerous mix of emotional and chemical imbalance issues. There is absolutely no reason for you to blame yourself for his death. He must have been hard to be friends with, with so many problems. You should pat yourself on the back for having been his friend and caring about him. Blaming yourself, going over the should haves and what ifs, will not bring him back. The link below is to a list of numerous suicide support groups you may want to check out or if you're still in school, perhaps a peer counselor could help. I'm sorry you lost your friend. I sincerely hope this helps. http://www.webmd.com/hw/mental_health/shc54.asp
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My younger sister's first husband committed suicide, and it became a huge shit fight in the family because my dad and youngest sister insisted that she should have saved him. It went on for 10 years until my dad died and my youngest sister gave up. What a waste of time! My BIL who died suffered a bipolar disorder all his life, and wouldn't get help because he was afraid he'd be locked up. How was my sister supposed to save him from himself? She might have done it once or even twice, but eventually he'd have gone through with his wish to die. For your own sanity I believe that you must accept that their suicide was ultimately their own choice and decision and be at peace with that fact.
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Don't assume that anyone is blaming you or thinking ill of you. They probably are hurt for you, but don't know what to say or how to say it. Be prepared that his family may say seemingly cruel or thoughtless things because of their own pain, frustration, or anger. Work on your guilt. Something beyond your control has happened. Blaming yourself for the actions of another is illogical and dangerously self damaging. You had no choice in the matter and you had no control over the suicide, but you do have a choice to survive and live through it. It may be the hardest task that you will ever have to perform, but you will survive! Do not be afraid to tell those around you exactly how you feel.
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A very good friend of mine got killed a few years ago cause he owned some money to the wrong guys as he was a drug addict and he needed money from everywhere he could get it. I didn't helped him when he needed me the most but i cannot blame my self for that even if i did for some time. To answer you i would say that you did all you could and you shouldn't be blamming your self about it cause you did not killed him/her. I have depression and if that kills me,it will be my fault cause i let it get me and didn't fight back at it. In the case of your friend,his schizophrenia didn't helped him at all,instead it made things worst that they could be. Don't worry.Even though i sound like a jerk and what i will say now will sound bad to you...he is happier where he is now at peace.
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No its not you're fault. I understand how you feel i have a friend who is a drug addicted and i did everything to warn him and to help him but now hes really sick and hes at the hospital and i think you can't blame on yourself what people does even i have first reacted like that.sometimes you just can't do anything for someone untill that [prson makes a huge mistakes and realizes the consequences. I had suicide willing when i was younger in spite of all the love my freinds and familly have given to me. Only you can decide what you do with your life.
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When my young SIL committed suicide, I felt similarly. I couldn't have done anything from a distance and didn't know I needed to do something. The answers here are very good. We can only control ourselves and sometimes not even that. Over time, I have come to accept my powerlessness in what my SIL did. I wasted some time being angry with my ex-husband. I have come to realize that there really was nothing any of us could have done. I am sorry for your pain. Get some help or check out some of the suggested websites. You don't deserve to suffer for something you had no control over. One thing I have done since then is insist that my close friends CALL ME FIRST before they do anything in the direction of suicide. My arguments are often not rational, but so far, several decades and counting, I haven't lost anyone yet. I hope that your heart heals soon or at least eventually.
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You can never blame yourself for anothers actions. You can only commit to your own. Suicide is very tragic but not uncommon. If you habor the feelings that you could have changed things you will only be hurting yourself. And don't you hurt enough now over the situation? Better to kwon that they are now at peace. And you can be too.
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My brothers girlfriend did the same 2 years ago and he asked the same question. I dont believe anyone is to blame blame does not set things right I believe if anyone wants to go badly enough then there is nothing you or anyone else could do. Although sickness played a great part in his/her demise, the lesson for us all is to enjoy our lifes as much as possible
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No. It was his choice to commit suicide, not yours.
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