I think it's menatally, emotionally, psychologiclly,and sexually damaging to everyone. Doesn't matter if they're the one s making it or the ones veiwing it, or the families of both.
Let's start with the women involved. Most of them grew up in households with two kinds of fathers, the absent or the abusive. Both are poor male role models for girls.
With the absent father he could live in the house with her or not, but if he never bothered to be a part of her life she will seek the attention that she's missing some where else. And this usally means attention from boys. She's so starved for that attention that she will do anything to keep it once she gets it. And the downward spiral begins. Especailly if her father keeps porn in the house or goes to strip clubs while ignoring his duties as a husband and a father. He's just taughter her that if you want a man to pay attention to you you must give him sex. And that wives are not worthy of such attention, therefor it's better to be the stripper or porn star.
If the father is abusive, especially sexually, what she learns is that she has no control over her own body and that all she's good for is sex. Most of these women go into the adult industry to try to regain the control that they lost not realizing that's exactly what they give up as soon as the go to work. They're paid to let someone else contol their sexuality.
And here's what happens to both. The lose of control and the guilt over letting themselves be used like this leads to even more mental, pscycological, and emotional damage. Depression is very common among these women which makes them more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol and leads to them becoming suicidal. Not to mention the rates of sexualy transmitted deseases is highly underplayed and reported. All of which leads to serious health problems or early death. Most of these women don't live to be 50. They also have problems with relationships because they never learn how to be anything, but a sex object. Sure they can get any guy they want. But to him she's just something to show off to the boys to prove his manhood not a person. The life may look galmorous and exciting, but that's just a facade. It's reallt the exact oposite.
Now to the men. It's perfect natural for men to be attracted to beautiful and sexy women and to want to have sex with them. What is not natural is the seeking out of images of these women that are sexual degrading and dehumanizing. Especially if it comes before the company of a partner. The use of porn actaully locks a man into a fantasy world that is so far from reality that he can't function in a relationship.
Let's explore why. Human sexuallity is mostly a mental and emotional thing. The physical asspect is really only a small part of it. The way sexual attraction is suppost to work is visual, mental, emotional, and then sexual. Porn only focuses on the visual and sexual aspects. What happens when a man's first sexual experiances are not based on emotional and mental ties is that his brain rewires it's self to cut out this part making it almost impossible for him to bond with his partner through sexual activity. He also doesn't not learn how to communicate with a partner or to develope sexual empathy for her and he loses respect for women on a sexual level. And when pressed by his partner for what is missing from their sex life he will retreat post haste to that fantasy world. He also will become desensatized to normal sexual activity and normal women's bodies because of the kind of sex and women portrayed in porn. With porn he starts out in the normal and gets burned out by it so he needs more of it and the images have to become more graphic and degrading to excite him. Evevntually it can become an addiction and lead to his relationship falling apart. He will also be more likely to cheat because he hasn't been taught to be manogamous. This is especially true if porn is accepted as part of their sex life by his partner. And the rate sky rockets if she veiws it with him or goes to strip clubs with him. After all she gave him permissoin to go outside of the relationship for sexual gratification. And here's something most people don't realize, if a man is not fully bonded to his partner he will never fully bond with his children.
The partners of both also have dificulties due to the porn.
For the partners of the women jealousy becomes a real issue. There's this constant need to try and regain contol of their sex life that is lost through her line of work. How would you feel if your partner had sex with six strangers in one day and then didn't want to with you? Or knowing that she's selling what is the right and privlage of a partner to all takers? That is if he even realy cares about her.
For the parteners of the men there's not only the jealousy that he'd rather look at other women then spend time with her, but a feeling of inadaquecy that goes with it. There's also a constant need to compete with these women to get back her rights and privlages as his partner by becoming hypersexual herself or by shutting down totally. In some cases she will try to get his attention back on her by veiwing the porn or going to the clubs, and to also degrade these women and put them beneath her. Which nine times out of ten backfires. It just makes her feel worse because at some point she realizes he's using her too. There's also the fact that because he can not bond with her or have emapthy or respect for her on a sexual level that her sexual pleasure is greatly hindered. Wopmen need that in order to have full sexual satisfaction.
And are last, but most greatly to be effected, the children. And don't kid yourself, not only do they know what goes on in your sex life, but it also shapes their's. I'm going to lump them all in one catagory since they're basicly effected the same way. They learn that the only person who's sexual satifaction matters is the man's and that they have rights and privalages over all women. Especially if he gives her money in some way. And that he should be allowed to go outside of the relationship for sexual gratification any time he wants. He also bears no responsability for fostering the sexual realtionship, that's the woman's job. They learn that women do not deserve the right of "No" over their own bodies, that they are not to be respected, and don't deserve feidelity in their relationships. That wives are to be ignored and are boring while porn stars and strippers are to be revered as Goddesses. And when they become teenagers they are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviour including promiscuity and unprotected sex.
I, for one, decided after years if dating men that looked at porn that I was tired of being a second class citizen in my relationships and will no longer date men who do this sort of thing. I was lucky enough to find a man who really didn't care for porn or strip clubs. And it was the best relationship I was ever in. The communication was wounderful, he respected me, I never had to worry about what was going on behind my back or if I was good enough, and the sex was awesome. He also was one of the most loving and caring fathers I have ever seen. In a nut shell, he completely spoiled me to the point that even though he has died I have no interest in other men.
Comments
Wow, could you expand on that?
by casual hero on April 26th, 2007
i'm sorry to hear about the nut shell.
by Midnighttoker on April 26th, 2007
Sorry, I got carried away. This is one of my soap box subjects and areas of study. And thanks to both for the points. Toker, thank you. I really apreciated that.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on April 26th, 2007
you're very welcome.
by Midnighttoker on April 26th, 2007
You out did me on the prostitution question and you really out did me and anyone else on this one. You go girl. I agree with you and I even think you were holding back a little. I know you really want take these people and smack some sense into them. <wink>
by unknown on April 26th, 2007
Wow, thanks for the answer. You really put alot of time and thought into getting to know about this issue. Thanks for sharing it with us.
by Penny The Wise on April 27th, 2007
You're welcome and thanks for the compliment. Maybe this will get people to realize the truth and not belive those studies the porn industry paid for that say how wonderful and healthy it is. I like how the last study they put out says that women enjoy porn just as much as men. Funny thing is a woman's sex drive is not visually driven. It's touch driven. Like to know how biology changed that much in 20 years.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on April 28th, 2007
I may be an exception to this rule, but I think I'm more visually driven. I prefer not to be touched first. I think I'm a little bass akwards. :P
by Penny The Wise on April 29th, 2007
For attraction everyone is visually driven, but when it comes to sexual arousal women are way more touch driven then men who rely on the visual.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on April 29th, 2007
i must be back-wards too. oh well i don't mind. at least i'm not touching pictures.
by Midnighttoker on April 29th, 2007
Hey, midnighttoker, for guys it's very much visual when it comes to sex. That's why ya' all like it with the lights on so much. And why it's so easy for the industry to snare guys. But as Jay would say "What the hell good is a picture of some phoney chic? Real thing, please."
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on April 29th, 2007
Like I said, I may be the exception, but there isn't a 100% to anything, I suppose.
by Penny The Wise on April 30th, 2007
Oh, but of course there are exceptions to every rule. Part of sexual desire and arousal also depends on how much testosterone your exposed to for both men and women and what your first exposer to sex was like and at what age.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on April 30th, 2007
Hey, I've got two trolls running around down rating my porn and prostition answers. Feeling a little guilty, you nasty little freaks? Or is it that you can't handle the truth? Show yourselves in the light my slimy little friends so I can whack you with my stick. Cause I'm guessing it's two guys who can't get dates that aren't paper.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on May 4th, 2007
lmao I think you hit the nail on the head.
by unknown on May 4th, 2007
More like the pin on the head. As in itty bitty pin head.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on May 4th, 2007
lol
by unknown on May 4th, 2007
I think I have a troll too. I looked at my page and I have quite a few downrates. Not sure if it's coincidence, or if I have a troll. Maybe someone is just pissed about what's going on in my mind...
by Penny The Wise on May 4th, 2007
Are they all in a row and the same rate? I'm getting threes and fours all at the same time onthe same subject. It's like we've got two working together.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on May 4th, 2007
No, all the same.. I realized that it was sporradic, but there were more -'s than I thought there were. I guess some people don't like to hear that someone else feels differently about things. Sorry you have a Troll, Pasobrio.
by Penny The Wise on May 4th, 2007
I'm not. I'm in bad mood and it gives me someone to insult.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on May 4th, 2007
Why the mood?
by unknown on May 4th, 2007
What mood? Just bashing a troll. Like how the one's who don't agree don't have the guts to leave a comment.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on May 19th, 2007
That's what makes them a troll.
by unknown on May 19th, 2007
So true. And that's what gives me the right to get my bag and stick and do some troll hunting.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on May 19th, 2007
You go girl.
by unknown on May 19th, 2007
Ha, it's goin to take alot for them to get me on this one. I got 17.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on May 19th, 2007
Thanks for the answer. I like it.
by Peetee on November 19th, 2007
You make an extremely good argument based on general observations. Although you are clearly biased all your arguments do add up.
I originally came here to consider for myself 'was it OK for me to view pornography, while apart form my long distance girl friend. (Whom I believe, I love). in order to alleviate sexual frustration and avoid potentially cheating.'
Well not only have I come to a 'No' conclusion.But what you wrote here has made me realize a lot about my self. Such as mental / behavioral problems, her sexual behavior, my apparent addicition and the moral aspect. I relies that viewing pornography would actually make the situation worse.
Although I would conclude... you make the assumption that everyone is wired the same way and hold the same values.We all know this is not so... therefore for some people this activity is acceptable without causing personal or social problems. For me however it's not.
Thanks this really helped me more than I expected .
by Hypothesis Theory on November 19th, 2007
00000
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on November 19th, 2007
Son of a Bitch! I had a great reply and it didn't post!
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on November 19th, 2007
I'm going to start off with I'm glad I helped you before you fell into that trap that some many guys do these days. It makes me happy to know that if out of the hundreds who sse this I at least helped one guy to see the harm he was doing to himself.
Actually, HT, those maybe my words, but they aren't my ideas. That's fifteen years of research of other people's work on human sexuality, biology, psychology, sociology, and the effects that porn has on it. I did start looking onto it to understand why it was causing problems for my relationships, but in reality the research just backed up my observations.
As to the wiring and morality thing here's the skinny on that puppy. Sure we may not all the believe the same, but what we believe doesn't mean a hill of beans to biology. We all have the same basic biological make up with only very slight diffrences in structure and function based on genetics.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on November 19th, 2007
The only real diffrence is the rate of effect. One person it maybe five years. Another ten. But the end effect will be the same just like it is for everything else we "injest". The deception lies in believing we are some how "special" or "diffrent" because we think we are. All those people who claim there is no problem are lying through their teeth. They just don't want to admit it. However, the longer you talk to them the more it starts to slip out about the truth of it all. They may not see it, but you will. It really it is like talking to a drug addict in the throws of addiction who can't see past the addiction. And just like with drug addiction the problems are also across the board demographicly. Biology doesn't care about what you think, it cares about doing what it's programmed to do.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on November 19th, 2007
A pat on the back for m'lady!
by Midnighttoker on November 19th, 2007
Thank you, Sir Toker.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on November 19th, 2007
:):):)
by Midnighttoker on November 20th, 2007
:):):)
See, ladies and gentleman, Toker is an example of what a guy who doesn't like porn is. Manly, respectfull of women, caring, compassionate, and mature. So was Jay. That's why they have all the ladies so under their spell.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on November 21st, 2007
I wish i could root off all those offensive materials from this world for ever.The main reason the younger generation is getting wayward is due to this menace.I fully agree with Mam Paso and Sir Toker.
by engineer is Terminator on November 22nd, 2007
Thank you engineer. Nice to see you around. Hope all is going as well as it can.
by Midnighttoker on November 22nd, 2007
Yes Sir,for the time being lets hope so.
Regards.
by engineer is Terminator on November 22nd, 2007
It only mentally damages men who view pornography too early, read some studies. You also used "most, mostly, usually" and words of the sort a lot(and when they weren't used, it was because of a implicit "always"), without providing any data, so I'm assuming these are all solely from your belief system and come from little scientific data. I agree with about 50% of what you say, but I disagree with the way you say everything. @engineer: I would say having a broken home, or two parents that work 50 hours a week is more to blame for my generations problems than porn. @midnighttoker: I know your name is from a song, but how can you rally against pornography and at the same time help glamorize drug use?
by afghani_stan on March 24th, 2008
this poor, poor uptight woman. I feel sorry for her.
by MargaretMcGhee on November 27th, 2010