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by Frances on November 30th, 2004

Frances

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I'm a girl, and another girl kissed me at a party. I freaked and left immediately, but my boyfriend of a year feels betrayed. He's been cheated on twice before and wants to know everything in my past. Is this cheating?

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  • by clevergirl on December 13th, 2004

    clevergirl

    YOU did not cheat unless you participated willingly in that kiss (and it doesn't sound that way fromwhat you say), but good luck trying to convince HIM! My own feeling is that you should run, not walk, to the nearest exit. Your boyfriend sounds like someone who is looking for reasons to be suspicious, and I was married to one of those.
    To put it into the most straightforward, simple terms possible: YOU cannot make him feel secure! His insecurity comes from experiences in his past, which he will either deal with and overcome, or cling to as "proof" that women can't be trusted. Regardless of what he says to make it your fault, his inability to trust is HIS issue, but you CAN make it yours by hanging around ... and trying to show him how much you love him ... and how faithful you really are, etc., etc., and you can either wake up, or spend 20-odd years (as I did) trying to fix what is someone ELSE's problem. Incidentally, I am very happy with my life now that it's mine and not someone else's.

    Comments

    • your answer really does deserve to be the number one answer clevergirl,theres nothing more that i could add to that.

      the general

      by the general on April 15th, 2007

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