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  • Eff it man, I'd tell her. He sounds like a huge gigantic douche anyway.
  • She's your friend aand if he's threatening to do that clearly he isn't your friend, so be a friend to her and tell her what's going on so she doesn't get more hurt down the road finding out another way and that you knew and didn't tell her too. If you were in the same situation as she is now wouldn't you want her to tell you?
  • next time you three are all together tell her in front of him that he is having an affair but didn't want you to tell...that way it can be right there on the secrets. No he said she said...just plain and simple.
  • If he had throw himself on your mercy I would have more trouble answering this question. That he THREATENED you tells me that he is a cheese-ball bully right down to his toes. Tell her.
  • Tell her. Don't respond to threats. If she's really your friend, you owe it to her to look out for her best interests, not those of her S/O. If he tries to make your life difficult (whatever that means), your friend will get your back.
  • Asking you not to tell is one thing...BUT threatening you is an entirely different matter. How close a friend is she? Would it feel like a betrayal if you don't tell her what you know? Do you think you'd feel better by simply walking away & avoiding further drama?
  • Put yourself in you friends shoes. If your s/o was cheating on you and threatened your friend, what would you want your friend to do? That's exactly what you should do.
  • Send her a an anonymous type-written/printed letter from a post-office not near you. (You could send it to a friend/family member in another town/state in the stamped and sealed envelope, and ask them to drop it in the mail for you (and NOT to put a return address on it). Tell them it's a surprise, and you don't want them to know who it came from.) There's no way he should be able to trace it back to you (unless he's a CSI), she will know and can react in whatever way she wants, you can be the supportive friend - and if she asks if you knew, you can say you recently found out, he found out you did, and he threatened to make your life "difficult" (and NOT to tell him). He can't blame YOU for telling her, originally, so the threats should be null and void. NOTE: DO NOT forget to NOT sign your name, NOT put a return address on it, and NOT use any other identifiable information/marks - like unusual stamps, ANY handwriting, etc.
  • "If you don't tell her, I will." Who cares about his threat? He's scared shitless. Obviously he's going to say anything to make you keep your mouth shut.
  • Well its like this..the both of them are supposed to be your friends right? This is hard,I've been there and I also had a friend who knew my spouse had stepped out on me and she told me in a way that got me to thinking,so she really didn't come out and tell me who it was. Just ramdom chat is all we were having,and then she ask me what I would do if I found out my spouse had cheated and she proceded to tell me what she would do. After this she started talking about the other affair partner who happened to be a neighbor of mine. And it clicked.
  • So, you are caught in the middle? This sounds like blackmail for you. I would not offer this information freely. If she asks you about this, then tell the truth. You are not obligated to withold this information. It will only give you headaches and ulcers and its not worth it.
  • it has been my experience that the bearer of bad news ends up being the bad good of friend is she your best friend and you would expect her to tell you then tell her...he is threatening you because it's all he's got...if she is not a close friend then i would stay out of will cause lots of fighting and heartache and in the end she will more than likely stay with him and you will be the 'cause' of all that 'conflict' that they just 'worked' through...
  • I would be a friend to my friend and tell him/her the truth. Thats what I would want them to do for me!
  • It depends on how much you feel for your friend. I have friends that I would run into a burning house to save, so threats by a jerk would mean nothing to me. I would tell my friend. Besides, your friend probably has a bit of dirt on him, too.
  • Keep your mouth shut! You stand to loose the friendship of both he and her. It is none of your business anyway what he or she does. so tend to your own knitting as the saying goes and you will be better off in the long run.
  • I would tell her. Doing the right thing is rarely easy. But you should be prepared for the possibility that she may *choose* to be in denial and distance herself from you. But, as her *friend* you should tell her, and let her make the decision as to whether or not to be in the relationship. IMO there is a HUGE difference between a "one night drunken thing" and an "affair." Both are wrong, but the affair is ongoing and purposeful. She absolutely should be told.
  • You're kidding me. This guy is in this position and then he threatens you instead of negotiates? Tell your friend about the infidelity, then tell your biggest friend to take a baseball bat to his knees. What a little scumbag.
  • I would keep life simple try and stay out of it she will find out on her own good luck!
  • Obviously, you know that if anything violent is being threatened you need to do something to protect yourself right away. K, so we're clear on that. How close is this friend? THere's a good chance she will be suspicious if you share this info, so just consider what kinda reputation you could end up getting if you tell this to someone you're not very good friends with.

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