Friend with drug problem question, see answer for details. Just a few characters too long for this space.
by 
FaerieWhings
ANSWERS: 9
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A friend from college has a drug problem but he's in recovery. Called me when I was 8 mo's pregnant to tell me he's in town and wanted to get together but then called next day asking me to take a trip to the Bronx to give him cash because he and his friend spent it all. I didn't respond because there was nothing to say. He never called after that till a couple months later to congrat me on the baby and then again text me on easter. I'm hurt that he never apologized for asking such a thing of me. Would you try to open communication with him again or just let it go? *********** Just to clairfy I knew that he and his friend used all the money they had on drugs. They live in VT and were in NY. Asked for gas money to go back to VT.
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Say something to him. Its good to make sure that a person who is ill with addiction is held accountable for his actions. I wouldn't expect an awful lot though...
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You still call him a friend :-) It sounds like he was messed up, but if hes in recovery and doing ok, then if it was me I would at least talk to him and take it from there, good luck :-)
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Dont blame the sober man for the behavior of a drug. It's not fair. however its up to you if you want contact with him or not
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Having been one of those people, I can tell you that they do indeed change, and that I'd never behave that way now, but if he's still in it, you'll have to wait a good while before trying to be his friend again, and by then it will be too late. I'm sorry for your loss, but drugs make people do shitty things, and they don't even feel that it's wrong, yet. It'll be 10 years or so before he realizes why he doesn't have that friend anymore. (I'd also like to add that with a new child, you've got enough on your plate, and just don't need that kind of drama around. Best to just let him hit his bottom on his own.)
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I guess it depends on how significant the friendship is to you. If it means a lot to you, then you should just tell him, "Look, it really hurt me that you've never apologized for this." It's possible that he may not even remember the situation or realize that it hurt you. Whether or not to mend things depends on how much it's worth to you.
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I had a friend who was an alcoholic. Being the person I am I was convinced I could help him turn his life around. To make a long story short he was turning my life around. My squared away life was being damaged because I'd make sacrifices for him - helping him with gas or food money, taking my time to help him with his errands. Whatever the case, one day I cut the cord. He called me one more time asking for gas money which I turned him down for and I haven't heard from him since. It's been years. Seems I wasn't a friend as much as I was his wallet and servant. Find yourself some real friends. That kind of friend isn't really a friend.
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Let it go. It's not that big a deal. I mean, his drug problem IS a big deal, but it's not like he singled you out to take advantage of. Drug abusers use every person and every resource they can to feed their habit, so it's not like he picked you because he though you were weak enough to give in or something. It isn't like he asked a BIG thing of you anyway. Just money. Of course, he didn't have money to begin with because of something you don't approve of, BUT if any other friend asked for money because they didn't have any, you wouldn't be offended would you? When friends ask to borrow, you either give with no question, or don't give for some reason, but you don't hold it against the person for asking, for whatever reason. If this was a repeated thing that you actually GAVE him money for, and then EXPRESSED that it upset you, then maybe you'd have a reason to still be angry. But I don't see a reason to now. It might be a mild irritant that they asked you to fix their problem, but what else can a person do? You probably would've asked a friend if you were in the same situation.
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I think he used bad judgment when he asked that of you. A good friend would not ask someone to comrpomise their safety for any reason. Let it go though. It's over and done and you were right not to honor such a ridiculous request. If you really must get it off your chest, I would approach it calmly and just let him know that it hurt your feelings that he would ask for such a favor. Then leave it and hope he never does it again and stays clean.
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