ANSWERS: 4
  • Yes! Don't put it off, get some professional help now. Often couples are afraid to admit that there is a problem and they wait too long. The distancing increases, things are said and done which are hard to take back. The right time to start improving the relationship is now! Mostly, [they] help you talk about the current situation in a new way. Providing a new perspective on the situation is the first step in change. [They] also help to increase the level of communication so that the thoughts and feeling which have previously been unspoken are brought out into the open. [They] also work towards lowering the tension level so that old issues actually get resolved. Sometimes [they] will also explore the differences in the families of origin and the results of our upbringing. Normally Marriage and Family Therapists like to schedule one appointment each week for the first few weeks. (Sessions are generally about 50 minutes long, thus leaving the therapist 10 minutes to make some notes on the session.) The average number of sessions is usually around 8 - 10 sessions. Often by that time significant changes have been made in the relationship. [ Source: http://www.interlog.com/~emmaus/MFT.htm ]
  • Couples counseling can indeed work very well to rescue a faltering relationship. It can also improve relationships that aren't particularly troubled. Of course, there are no guarantees in life, so whether it is successful for any specific couple will depend on a number of factors. There are several things that it helps to know when beginning couples counseling. One is that if you're expecting the counselor to agree with you about all your mate's shortcomings, you're going to be disappointed. A good counselor will help a couple recognize the real problem areas and find ways to deal with their issues appropriately, often in ways that can actually strengthen the relationship. But it's not about who's right and who's wrong or taking sides in any way. It's about the relationship and making it as good as possible for both partners. Another good thing to know is that often whether couples counseling is successful or not depends on whether both people are willing to see it through and work at it. Even the best counselors can't fix the relationship for you; all they can do is help you recognize the issues and learn to work them out in constructive and positive ways. A partner who is dragged unwilling to counseling will just about ensure a lack of success. Both sides really need to be open to counseling and willing to give it an honest try. In fact, it's best if the couple picks out the counselor together. One final thing it's good to know: going to counseling doesn't mean someone's a bad person or a failure of any kind. Despite what most people seem to think, successful and long-lasting relationships don't "just happen." They take certain skills and understandings, and in this day and age many of us haven't had the chance to learn how on our own. Going to couples counseling isn't an admission of defeat, it's a demonstration of one's desire to have a satisfying relationship.
  • YES!! Although you *both* have to *want* it to work - otherwise it's pointless. One thing to remember is that the counsellor is not there to make decisions about your relationship for you, nor will she judge you on what you say. You need to be totally honest in order to get the most benefit. What the counsellor will do is help you to look at the situation in a way that will help you come to your own decisions. A counsellor will also offer an unbiased opinion (if you want to hear it of course), which is often all that a couple needs to set their problems straight. The only other think I can say is to be open to what your partner and counsellor say, as you'll both get the most benefit than if you go in with your minds made up that the 'other person is wrong' or something similar. Good luck :-)
  • No, it will not help. There is a lot of people out ther who think this works. How can a person who don't know you tell you how to be a petter person or spouse. Get the same answer by answering your own questions. Don't yell as much and that will pretty much do it in a lot of situations. Save 2 grand and do it yourself. They are a joke.

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