Should "until death do us part" be taken out of wedding vows, since divorce is an everyday occurrence?
by 
Surgeon General
ANSWERS: 37
-
maybe instead of taking out "until death do us part", we should also add in "or until divocre do us part"
-
This is a hard question to answer, But here is my story- I was at a friends wedding where the Minister was from a Unitarian church. She said all the normal stuff "do you Rose take this man ......" but when it got to the "untill death" part she said "until death or just cause do you part" I liked it!
-
There is a funny "Curb your enthusiasm" episode, where Larry David is excited because after death he's single. haha
-
At my brother's wedding, the priest added a line about "God allowing divorce because of the hardness in people's hearts."
-
I don't think so. People may not take their vows seriously these days, but that doesn't mean that what the vows stand for isn't important.
-
Why bother getting married if you're not going to commit yourself to it?
-
Overwhelmingly, about 3/4 or first marraiges are "til death do us part." In this case, majority should also rule.
-
I think it should remain as part of the ceremony. Twenty two years ago I went to a wedding that one of my cousins filmed on a VHS tape. It is dramatic when you see the Priest, who was a kind of funny, easy going guy, saying in Spanish, at the same moment of pronouncing the vows, something like: "Now comes the part of this ceremony that is getting to my nerves...people keep failing to keep and respect what they are about to say...buy I am going to ask again and please, please, look at the people in this Church, think of God and please...."Do you....."... and he pronounced them husband and wife. They got divorced in less than two years.... Oh my....
-
No, it's a good reminder that you were a hypocrite. And not to be one again:P
-
This is interesting. It's a bit old fasioned. I think most people intend to remain together with no intentions to putting an end to their relationship but stuff happens. Take it out? Why not? I guess it really doesn't matter one way or the other.
-
some vows say, "for as long as we both shall love" rather than LIVE. the contract you have is for as long as you live....then death is when the marriage is over. If you get a divorce you are breaking your contract like if i got my license and it said expires in 2020 but I got a DUI in 2012 and it was taken away we wouldnt start changing when the license expires would we?
-
let's not make it easier - they are vows ,you are supposed to keep them!
-
Why get married and make vows at all...? why not just live together..? Be easier than arguing about the bits to leave in or out (and there is no divorce lawyer costs !!!!!)
-
No, I'm for changing divorce procedures to fit the phrase.
-
I think that this is a similar question, ethically, as a prenup or postnup. It may then bring into question the sincere desire of the other person to have a lasting marriage. However, some people have no problem with it. If that's the case, then they should remove that phrase. It should be up to each couple, however.
-
NO, it's part of the commitment, the contract terms. Many people do vow till death and mean it. Half of all people do stay married.
-
May even stop husbands killing their wives?
-
people get to write their own vows now. Most people do not have all the traditional vows anymore. No reason this could not be taken out or modified.
-
That doesn't make any sense. People generally do not marry with the idea of divorce as a foregone conclusion, and if they do, they shouldn't be getting married in the first place. Divorce should be an option only when all other attempts to save the marriage have failed.
-
if you're willing to stay married until death parts you, then use the phrase. if you aren't willing, don't.
-
Outdated relics like wedding vows should be abandoned.
-
we wrote our vows to include til death do us part. after 15 years, she now wants a divorce. i really believe in the vow. i think that partners ought to discuss til death do us part and the possibility of divorce before they get married. i also think that partners have a duty to try to work out difficulties in a relationship (e.g., counseling) rather than run off with the first guy she meets on the internet, especially when she shows the kids that its okay to cheat.
-
In my wedding it was "for as long as you both shall live on earth according to God's marital arrangement". The word death is kind of icky when you are trying to be happy. I plan on staying married.
-
no but it can be added later
-
No. It should just be enforced. If someone wants out of a marriage, without a reason, such as infidelity, abuse, etc. then the other spouse should have the right to 'let them out' of their contract. :)
-
well it kinda is death..the death of those feelings that keep a couple together and the death of a relationship
-
No - why should we assume that all marriages will end in Divorce! :P
-
I personally think it should stay in wedding vows, and always should be that way. True, divorce IS an everyday occurence, but let's face it - people who are going to marry and be divorced almost immediately after (for example, celebrities) should not marry in the first place unless they are for sure its for love, and are willing to stay with their partner for (at least) a long while, and hopefully until death. On the other hand, if divorce does happen for a good reason - (bad husband/wife, abuse, house problems, etc.), then their wedding vow (including the 'until death do us part' section) would make the couple think twice.
-
I would suggest that it read "stay together as long as possible."
-
No. The vows are traditional. It is just that morals are by large not as traditional, not as loyal. Marriage has become a money making racket, and a status symbol and less of a thing of holy matrimony. In order to change this, I believe there should be a more rigorous pre marriage counseling process. Leaving no stone unturned, maybe even turning over every proverbial stone twice to five times each. You could call this the wedding vetting process. :)
-
I thought people could use whatever vows they want.
-
You can make your vows say whatever you want them to say, but making it read like that would sound like you don't intend to try, i suppose.
-
Perhaps more realistic, but if you're going into this relationship believing it is "as long as our love shall last," don't do it!
-
no way
-
No. Even with the religious aspect aside - If a couple want to change the vows and have their own vows which say "as long as our love shall last" then that is up to them, and they are of course allowed to marry with those vows. I wouldn't be willing to bet on the marriage being a success if they enter with that kind of mentality though.
-
I believe yes if they are both in true love!
-
show this question to your "future spouse" and see how they respond to it, you will find the answer you need.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC