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  • Some men like to do that and I think they need to be able to express themselves up to a point. But if that becomes their whole approach it is not very socially aware and certainly I would not want a continuing relationship with them. Does nothing for me. Perhaps I should qualify. I want first and foremost to be enjoyed and if that is part of it then OK. But for a regular continuing relationship I want it to be about more than just their enjoyment - in other words my enjoyment too. And what has always done it for me has been slow and very steady over a long period of time. Only in situations where I have been going for a long time and have had several Os can I really get into them going hard and fast. Which it seems a lot of young men are into these days which was not the case when I was young. Oh like I said some is Ok for them but if they are interested in making it about me as well then I need to slow them way down.
    • dorat
      Thanks. There is really a lot of nuance to your thinking. It is interesting. Here you are a woman who enjoys giving her body to be used by a man - but there is more to it than that. You always remind me that there is more to women - and people generally - than the impressions they leave us with. Thanks so much.
  • I love rough sex. It's not something I want all the time, but I like variety in my sex life, and it's fun when my husband and I get a little rough from time to time. I don't care for being bitten, not hard any way, but I like everything else you describe. I like it hard and fast, with some dirty talk too, and being held down and smacked on the butt.
    • dorat
      Thanks for replying. You seem to be where my gf is. (By the way, I am always careful not to bite hard.) You ladies must do a mind-meld or something. By the way, (I am doing a little cutting and pasting here, but I wanted to pass on something I said earlier to Officegirl too. Specifically, to totally switch directions - I just wanted to thank you for your honest and polite answers. You have been a real gem. Frankly, I wonder - maybe more than I need to - about what my questions make me - and my gf - sound like. I wonder if you and others think, "These two are rather unusual, to say the least." Truth be told, my gf and I are more like Ward and June Cleaver than anything from an R (or X) rated movie. As I am sure you are tired of hearing, I love my gf with all my heart. She came into my life at a time when I had really hit bottom, and she was understanding and loving and compassionate and I can never repay the love she has shown me. As to my kids, I am a 100% certified miksop. It is almost painful to watch. (Somewhat literally, I like to make funny faces to make my daughter (age 4) laugh, and my gf just rolls her eyes and say's, "Honey, if you keep doing that your face is going to stay that way forever." My gf is probably right - she usually is - but I'll risk it just to hear my little angel giggle and see her smile. As for the boys, they are the lights of my life. The little guy (6) is a snuggler and hugger and he always makes me feel like a super-hero. The older boy (7) would rather walk through obstacles rather than around them, and he gives me gray hair - and I would not have it any other way.) So as you can see, I am a pretty conventional guy, but my gf and I decided we were happier without all the trappings of marriage, and we just so happen to really enjoy our sex life. How that comes out sounding in these pages, though, I can't say. So I really want to thank you. You've (and Officegirl) have been great to talk with and have given my gf and I some perspective on our own sex life. Thanks so much.
    • ladyEmma
      Don t worry about what you sound like. I think you and your girlfriend seem like an awesome couple! :) I'm not tired of hearing how much you love your girlfriend. That's really sweet to hear. And by the way, I can relate you what you are saying about feeling like Ward and June Cleaver, than anything from an R or X movie. My husband and I are the same way. I think people who know us would be surprised at some of our sexual activities, but outside of the bedroom, we are a pretty ordinary couple. We're actually a pair of goody goodies. We don't use foul language, we don't go out partying (although I do enjoy an occasional beer at night to unwind), we're into gardening at our house, I knit, hubby builds wood crafts, we have people over for dinner parties. So any, it's nice to chat with you about all of this and know that there are other people who can relate to being living a Ward and June Cleaver lifestyle while being really kinky in the bedroom. So thank you as well.
    • dorat
      My gosh - we sound like clones of each other. (I'm kidding - I think.) My gf and I live in Washington, DC, and obviously socializing is part of the scene here, especially for me as my job is political - but we are happiest when we are at home with our little munchkins. We do date nights once a month, and as our "anniversary" is right around Valentine's Day - conveniently - we always do a couples weekend that includes dressing up for dinner, maybe seeing a play or dancing either by staying at a hotel in town, or sometimes going to a B&B or resort on the bay or at the ocean. (Oh yeah, and we have sex, too.) My gf is part of a mom's group - and she has started back to work recently - she's an economist for gosh sakes! Oh yeah, and we love to garden.... and you've already heard that we are as annoying as any two proud parents can be when it comes to our children.I mean seriously, do we sound more 1950s? So right back at ya. Cannot thank you enough - June - and my best to Ward, too.
    • officegirl
      You sound to me like you are like you are just interested in finding out what we all think - as we interested in finding out what others think. there is no one single way that works for every couple but I would guess every relationship is different. Strange as it may seem my husband and I are really very conservative people politically and morally and socially. He came from an old money - political family where they all had to be achievers and exemplary in behavior and give back. My mother was a socialite and my father started a very famous tool company. In addition to running an office for an industrial design/equipment brokerage company I volunteer fund raising for the arts and I sit on the board of a concert organization. A long way from being a 1970s hippie! We attend concerts and operas or plays weekends. And go shopping together - Gerry dozes in the show dept while I scour Lord and Taylor etc. If you are Ward Cleaver I must be "Auntie Em".
    • dorat
      You wrote: "You sound to me like you are like you are just interested in finding out what we all think - as we interested in finding out what others think. there is no one single way that works for every couple but I would guess every relationship is different. " Guilty as charged. I am curious because while everyone will be different, there will also be similarities - see also the similarities between LadyEmma and her husband and my gf and I - and that interests me for a variety of reasons. For that matter, although we are younger, my gf and I live in DC and are not unlike you and your husband. That is interesting, we are, as I told LadyEmma, more like the Cleavers and yet, when it comes to sex, we break the mold a bit. That is hugely interesting - especially when you see how it intersects with what we know about human psychology and human evolution.
  • Most of the time I love it.
  • It can be fun sometimes.
  • I love sex rough or romantic no matter what it depends on my mood
  • The golfers walking past, shouting "get in there!", kinda ruins it for me. I prefer to do it in a bunker, where there is more secrecy.
  • Sometimes I really like it.
  • It can be very good sometimes.
  • I love it sometimes.
  • I like it sometimes.

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