ANSWERS: 24
  • Wow! Lots of bitterness here. I assume you daughter is old enough to have expressed some opinions that you don't like to hear. Consider a few things. First, no matter what legal papers you might sign (and I'm not familiar with any "disowning" legal optons) your daughter will ALWAYS be your biological daughter. Ask yourself what kind of relationship you would like to have with your daughter, that is, what kind of relationship that is different from whatever it is now? Emotions that run this deeply usually spring from love and fear and lots and lots of pain. Look how strongly you are feeling. Something is behind that and I would guess lots of pain. She must have been vicious. I'm sorry. Look inside yourself and possibly see a therapist. Might help more than legal papers. Cheaper too.
  • wow...my dad was like this to... why the hell would you ever want to dis own your own child? my dad did it to me and I Have never ever been so HURT in my life..wow
  • You need to start with an attorney. Usually a first visit is free, and you will find out what you need. I suspect it should be where the daughter lives, but a lawyer will know for sure.
  • Why would you want to do this? My kids have done some pretty bad things to me but they are still my kids. I couldn't disown them. She's your daughter for God's sake, what did she do to deserve this?
  • It might be helpful if you explained why you can no longer take care of your daughter. Is it because of a health condition. Is she totally out of control and you can't handle her anymore. Is it for financial reasons. I am asking these questions so I can better help you find a solution not to pass judgement. I think if someone truly can not take care of their child it is better for them to find a different home for them than to put the child in a dangerous situation. I am not saying this is your situation but sometimes parents become too physically or emotionally sick to be able to care for their kids. Other parents do not have the capacity to love and care for a child. Again I don't know your situation so I don't know if any of these things apply to you. All other feelings aside. If you truly feel that you are totally unwilling or unable to be a custodial parent than I think it is better to give up custody than to harm your daughter. Sometimes even though it is painful it is better for a child to be removed from home than for them to stay in the current situation. I do encourage you however to do some research and try to find as many resources as possible to help you raise your daughter. If you feel the situation is unsalvageable even with outside help or if you are afraid that you will seriously harm your daughter than go ahead and start the process. I am guessing that your daughter is living with you. If you do not want to wait and try to find help then I would suggest either sending her to her father or finding a trusted family member or friend to take care of her until things get settled. If you can not find anyone and you are unable to keep her at home then you are going to have to call child protective services. Please only do this as a LAST RESORT and only if your child would be in danger by staying at home.
  • do not believe in california you can disown, you can however relinquish your parental rights, put you still have to financially take care of her. i'm in the same situation, just waiting till she's 18, 15 more months to go
  • I never thought in my wildest dreams that disowning a child has even been made legal! What is this country coming to? Let the child suffer through divorce... yes i think they would be able to handle that, because it is so commonplace, and there are help groups out there ready to help with the emotional things that the child will go through...but, being disowned? How can you ever explain that to someone? If there is something that is sure in this earth it is that your parents love you no matter what. Being disowned shatters that. I admit to be ignorant in so many things...I just cannot comprehend this...please can someone explain why you would want to disown your child?
  • take her to the mountains and drop her off and speed away in your car...but don't leave her anything, no clothes except the ones on her back, no cell phone, no money no anything...that should help. get real why would you want to do that you son of a bitch?
  • Be careful with whom you cut out of your life. You may regret such hostile actions. Take a year of patience from her if you must.
  • I'm pretty sure it's impossible to divorce your daughter where you live. You're not married to her. She is your child. Anyway, I am using the word "divorce" because your question is currently in the "Divorce" category, in case there is any confusion.
  • Lemme guess... She's lesbian?
  • disowning your child?? hmmm.. thats the kind of men that give us good men a bad name, im going to be a father by december and the mother and i are no longer together but im going to fight to see my child, i will see my child, you cant disown your child, even if it was a mistake you made the mistake and you have to live with it, be a good father and be a bigger man and work things out with you daughter. having a child is a blessing, may sometimes be a blessing in disguise but still. stay with your children!!!
  • My husand disowned our children very easily. I am thankful that he was not around to poison their values or degrade them. I was with my husband through college, medical school, internship, residency and then his own internal medicine practice. He then fell in love with a possessive woman who did not want him to have any connection with his friends from childhood or even his own children. He then ran away to Saudia Arabia so he didn't have to pay child support. Rather than go to jail for non-support, he chose to disown his kids when the war forced him to come back to the States. He was the loser not the kids. When he disappeared, I had to pull myself and the kids up by our bootstraps and I am a very successful person in my own right today. My daughter has a Ph D and 2 eautifu daughters and my son has a masters in architecture. Some of the things my kids' Dad did make me believe that he was capable of killing us. However, we are alive and now successful without him. I know that he is just a shell of a man and not the really great person that I once married. No one can not hold a parent in a marriage or relationship with children by legal means when that parent doesn't want that responsibility. You will find after you disown your kids they will eventually think of you and say "good riddance".
  • Hi I fully understand why you would want to disown your child/children. They can be vipers in the nest and can systematically destroy you. All you have to do to disown them is just not having any contact with them or their children; then refer to them as your stepchildren when the occasion arises. Legally, all you can do is leave them nothing in your will and let them waste their time energy and money contesting it. I live in Scotland and it is impossible to cut children out of a will.
  • Wow!I feel sorry for your "daughter" to have a serogant like you because you cannot call your self a mother. Regardless of the situation you may be in that is a horrible thing to want to do. My parents have done some messed up things to me and never once have I thought about diss-owning them. Yah you really need help...soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • I lost my little girl 9yrs ago her dad took her and I would do anything to see her again so I don't understand how in hell a person could disown there child for any reason it takes a cold hearted bitch do do that and I only hope she is not old enough to know what you are doing!
  • u guys are just so selfish i understand the mother in few ways. My parents are good Christian who adopted my younger sister when she was 4 years old. We nurtured her and loved her. I even thought that my parents loved my sister more than they loved me because they wanted to show my sister how much they loved her and always rebuked me for lots of thing. now I grew up old enough knowing that they still loved me and they also loved my sister dearly. but over the past 2 years, she started to act out entering her 'teenage years' she did things my parents never understood that a child can do as a good Christian, but we learned that we are of the same sinner as she is(one of the main thing people should learn in Christianity) it came to the point where my mom and and dad couldn't sleep because every time they sleep, my sister would go out of house and go to bar and hang around with wrong sort of people. they prayed over and over again, and they ended up temporarily switching guardianship with someone in other states since in the place where we live, there were bad friends of my sister, and we wanted her to move away from them. She is currently with basically what we call god parents or maybe foster parents but she still refuses to behave there and don't go to school. It is legal that she should be sent to family court or even juv. at her current state, but we still don't want to do that. we still want her to change. but it is now my mom who's sick because of her. she has heart problem; she is constantly having abnormal fast hear beat, and she wants to let my sister go so that she may understand what kind of harsh world she is living in. But that's not even possible because she is still under 18, and legally disowning is not available.
  • I can understand what you are talking about.my daughters have all basicily ostersized me.16-18-22 years.even though I have been there for them all their lives.I have had no income for over 2 years.while trying to get my disability.so my kids dont want nothing to do with me.and the animals at child support.better said mother support.will not quit threatening me.but you must remember that kids can divorce their parents.the state can practicly hang a father for being poor no matter the reason.but when a father wants to protect himself no one has compassion for him.so dont worry about it talk to a family law lawyer.and pray to the lord JESUS for strength most people would rather judge you than help you.
  • Go see a lawyer. Make sure that when you write you will you explicitly leave her $1 period! Why should any other children have to deal with someone who couldn't see beyond and realize what they were throwing away. You betcha I'm bitter and as far as I'm concerned such action is right if it is deserved! Forget this "forgive and forget" crap! That doesn't happen - why the heck should I let myself be fooled twice! That would be stupid on my part. My daughter was my life but because I expressed concerns about her choice of spouse then she walked out! She made a choice and that choice was final after 5 years as far as I'm concerned!!!
  • California.
  • As a mother of two daughters I am shocked at this, it doesn`t matter what your child does, it is still your child, you may be angry or disapointed in what they say or do, but nothing...absolutely nothing ...should stop you loving them.
  • Rarely have I heard so many judgmental biased opinions based on few lines of a stranger. I am not saying it is the right thing or the wrong thing to do. I do not have the right to do that. I do know that I have been through my own share of neglect, threats, and unhealthy parenting. I have wanted to be disowned as an adolescent. It took years and age on both of our levels to finally start seeing the world in another person's eyes; to finally realize that my parents are human who make mistakes and vice versa. Yes, maybe with hope and luck if you do not disown your child you will one day discover this ever growing acceptance. Maybe not. If you are absolutely positive that your life and hers will be better if you are disowned from each other, then by all means speak to an attorney. Only firm advice I place is to make sure she knows your sincere, unbiased feelings (no hurtful comments just for the sake of hurting) before hand. Write her a letter, email, message, anything to help her gain closure and tell your side. It is only fair for the both of you and the biggest effort to get over is pride (which is often blinding). Give it awhile to sink in for both of you. Then, make your choice and live with the consequences.
  • Think long and hard about it first.
  • If your daughter has not come of age, which is 18 in the state of California, you cannot disown your child. Once your child has come of age you are free to disown. By disown that meaning going to an attorney and writing a will that cuts her out of ever receiving anything from your estate. You need a lawyer to do it, writing it yourself doesnt work and easily challenged in court. http:// econlog.econlib.org/archives/2012/05/the_freedom_to.html

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