ANSWERS: 17
  • never.
  • Eventually, perhaps that your parents made you will over-ride the things one of them did. At least you were carried to term and you got to be born, and got to reach an adulthood where you could salvage your life.
  • Believe it or not but YES.I feel that you must forgive and try to forget.You must be a stronger person and not let that person get over on you.As sick as it may sound,you have to try to forgive.God Bless
  • I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm sure complete forgiveness would be extremely difficult. Just do whatever you have to do to get the greatest peace of mind. Some say that forgiveness is not for the abuser but for the person who was abused so that they can let go of the negative feelings that plague them. But your journey is your own and you must do what's best to relieve your mind of those horrible memories.
  • no... I dont think I could forgive them. Well..... I suppose it would be possible, but I wouldn't do it.
  • I have but they keep abusing me. Im 27 years old and my father gave me a black eyes and a blood nose for being too loud one night. Can i forgive him again maybe but i cannot forget. Should i just accept that hes a defective human being and turn my back??
  • Its a hard decision that its only up to you, do what you feel best and what you are confortable with. But i do want to tell you that forgiving someone is good because we all make mistakes in life and theres one god who sees it all and it will be him the one to judge. Talk with that parent and let them know how you feel and see what they feel also, trying to settle the situation for a healtier relationship is always the start of a new beginning.
  • Yes, I can forgive.......eventually. I work on it almost daily, as a matter of fact. I don't do it for them; I do it for ME. I really can't have any shot at a happy life without it. I have to let go of the bitterness and the evil that was perpetrated onto me. I am all grown up now, which is the good news. No one will ever be able to do that to me again. I also learned that forgiving is not the same as forgetting - not that I COULD forget. But neither do I have to sweep them up into my arms and profess undying love to them, like I did when I was a little bitty girl. If they want love, they'll have to look for it themselves, just as I had to. +5
  • It would depend on what type of abuse. I would forgive almost anything. But I would not forget it. Thankfully, I grew up in a home with loving and caring parents. It's hard to understand why some parents feel the need to abuse their own children. So sad. :-( I wish you the best. Have you spoke with a counselor about this situation? I'm not being nosy, just want to help a little if I can. It does help to get whatever is bothering you out in the open and not keep it bottled up inside you. You are safe with a counselor and can let everything out including your emotions. I go to counselling sessions for a different reason. They have helped me so much.
  • I went through the same thing, you NEED to forgive, not for them, it has nothing to do with them, do this for YOU, you dont deserve to have the hate eating away at you for the rest of your life, yes, what happen to you was horrible, and I am truly sorry you had to go through it, but you are a very strong person, dont let the hate control you, they win if you let it, they still have power over you as long as you hang on to the hate. Take back your power!!!!! You don't have to punish yourself anymore. The punishment belongs with the person who took advantage of you! Not with you! The guilt, the shame, and all of the feelings of worthlessness all belong with the person who hurt you!
  • If you do not forgive them you are only destroying your own life.
  • I wanted to update this and the other question. A friend of mine is in a divorce support group and the subject was forgiveness. He pointed out how I have not completely forgiven. Thus the questions. I strongly feel that complete forgiveness is not possible because the other party cannot feel remorse or guilt for their actions. I reached this conclusion through counseling. I have let go of anger and resentment and I feel I have forgiven her as much as I can, and laid the rest in God's hands. I have suspected that my mother is a sociopath for several years and now that I've looked into that more, I am sure of it. My biggest dilemma with her, stems from people not being able to accept my choice to not have a relationship with her. Now I understand why that is not possible.
  • Believe it or not, you probably already have forgiven them. Forgivness is easy, the forgetting is what stays with us 4-ever. These people who abused us are troubled, hateful, miserable human beings. Always remind yourself it wasn't your fault, you were just the object in which they could use as their instrument to play their misery upon. This doesn't take the pain away as it falls on our minds without warning or reason. It can help to heal the shame of our guilt as if we had in some way deserved this or caused it to happen. You are GOOD! For this there is no shame. Be proud your mind is strong, you are strong! YOU, survived!!!!!! ((((HUGS))))))
  • I think it is the only way to move on with your life. I think it takes a lot of time and a need to know it won't happen again. I am working on it myself but I blocked out what happened. That makes it more difficult.
  • Yes I can forgive, but it would take time. It's always best to forgive and forget, even though it is never an easy thing to do. :) ++
  • I have.
  • When a person forgives another they set two people free. The one needing forgiveness and the one needing to forgive. I forgave my mother.

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