• I got married before I finished college, and later I felt like I had missed out on being an independent person. I went directly from being a child of my parents to being a wife, and never got to just be me. Also, I got pregnant 6 mo. into being married, and became a mom before I had a chance to ever have a job or even just be a wife and enjoy that. 13 years later, I wish I had waited a little longer to get married, and quite a bit longer to become a mom. It took away my confident accomplished attitude I had before, and makes me feel I am nothing but wife and mom, not a person in my own right. I thought back then that I needed to skip all the extras and get to the "real stuff" of life, but the real stuff can also be the hard stuff, and the extra stuff I skipped would have let me be a more content wife and mom later, I believe.
  • Guess it depends on what part of the country you are from as up ther they marry and work through college.
  • I think it is their way of saying to put marriage off so that you can get your 'youth' out of your system while you can still enjoy it with all of the freedom you have. There are young people who are ready to get married, but in this culture, many young people ARE NOT, no matter what they think. I used to think I was ready for marriage, too. I was so sure of it. However, I'm not. Not yet. No. I personally want to finish school first so that I can get it out of the way because when you get married, you have all these new responsibilities that come with it! Why would you want to still have school in the way along with it all? What if you end up having children? How much time would you have for them if you're a full-time student? Marriage does not mean "You have a free ride now! You get to do whatever you want because you are away from your parents!" No, that's silly. Marriage doesn't solve your problems. In fact, more may even arise because you have to learn to live together with someone else! This may be hard because many people finally reveal their total and true self after they are married because they have you now, so what have they got to lose, right? Rushing into marriage just because you think you're ready is one of the stupidest ideas ever. Marriage is a HUGE decision -- ideally, it's a lifelong commitment to ONE person for the rest of your life. There are times when this doesn't work out and the two people go their separate ways and sometimes even remarry. Right now, you need to focus on yourself...learn about your interests, ENJOY your freedom while it lasts... work on yourself... make yourself the best person you can possibly be! Don't treat marriage like a fairytale. That would be a mistake. A fancy and amazing wedding means nothing if you just find out later that the person you're married to was faking who he/she was the whole time just to impress you so that he/she could be with you and be the one who is married to you. I know that not all couples lie to each other before the wedding, but there are MANY, MANY people who do. This is a decision that you definitely shouldn't be careless about. You need to make sure it is what you WANT if you want to ensure a marriage that will WORK. If you happen to have a man or a woman who will support you through college, that's GREAT! However, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's the best idea for you to get married to that person right here, right now. I have a boyfriend in college right now. I still want to wait until we're at least done school so that we can put that behind us and move on with our lives together. I don't want children in the picture at the moment because I am not ready to be a parent right now. He doesn't want children right now, either. Anyway, I should probably shut up now. I just hope I made at least some sense!
    • Army Veteran
      Thought you might appreciate this quote: "You spend years wishing your parents would get off your back, only to realize that they're the only ones who ever really had your back." - unknown
    • Charin Cross
      excellent point and saying...
  • Because if you get married while still in college, the odds are AGAINST you that you'll actually FINISH and get your degree. People get "bogged-down" with married life, earning a living, and, usually, a child or two comes along which creates another mouth to feed, take care of, and SOMEONE needs to stay home and take care of it or afford child care fees! It . . .just. . .starts. . .getting. . .R-E-A-L-L-Y difficult. Trust me!
  • I don't know why they say that as I like the idea of growing up together once you know you have found that one person you will spend your life together. I never had to 'get anything out of my system' or needed to sow some wild oats. I wanted to grow up and enjoy life with someone. I did that, marrying at 18, soon after high school. It's been lovely for nearly 36 years:-)
  • Because, contrary to pobpular belief, marriage is HARD WORK. Married life isn't some kind of fairy tale reality where you live happily ever after once you say the magic words "I do". There is a great deal of work and communication, of hardships and pains, of loss and revelations. By waiting until AFTER college, if that is your situation, you have allowed yourself more time to grow and learn some of the lessons in life you will need to deal with the concept of marriage AND you allow yourself to focus the majority of your energies and efforts on completing your education so you can provide a better life for a family and make it a little bit easier for the two of you.
  • maybe they think it will distract them from school
  • Marriage requires focus and attention. So does school. It's not fair to the marriage if one has to study, go to the library, be in study groups and otherwise pay attention to getting your degree. One couple I knew darn nearly got divorced while the husband was in law school. She went everywhere by herself because he was in the books constantly.
  • maybe cause theyre too busy to finish college if theyre married
  • Nothing should interrupt your studies.
  • best to get that expensive thing out of the way and all the studying ..marriage is not real easy ya know ,lots of work keeping marriage running smooth ..its not like the movies . song i love ↓and it seems fitting
    • avatar
      So you want to be in love like the movies But in the movies they're not in love at all And with a twinkle in their eyes They're just saying their lines So we can't be in love like the movies Now in the movies they make it look so perfect And in the background they're always playing the right song And in the ending there's always a resolution But real life is more than just two hours long So you want to be in love like the movies But in the movies they're not in love at all And with a twinkle in their eyes They're just saying their lines So we can't be in love like the movies Well you can freeze frame any moment from a movie Or run the whole damn thing backwards from reel to reel But I don't see one single solitary light technician Or one single camera in this moonlit field I don't want to be in love like the movies Cause in the movies they're not in love at all With a twinkle in their eyes They're just saying their lines So we can't be in love like the movies. And with a twinkle in their eyes They're just saying their lines And so we can't be in love like the movies. Nooooooo We can't be in love like movies
  • Because the brain doesn't finish developing until age 25-30 Besides, if its true love it will stand the test of time.
  • So many cases of someone "using" another person to make college life easier and then ditching them once they get their degree and a well-paying job.
  • Too many people rush into marriage. Back "in the day", couples would date for more than a year before getting married so they could get to know each other - today, people "fall in love" too easily (because they had sex for the first time and it clouded their common sense) and get married at the drop of a hat. But the divorce rate tells the whole story - couples who waited stay married longer than couples who rush into marriage. Marriage today has become a throw-away ritual that no longer regards the vows made to God as sacred.

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