A Preist and a Rabbi walked into a bar...Does anyone have a good old fashioned completly offensive, truly awful, you kiss your mother with that mouth joke?
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ANSWERS: 8
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I don't know if its a joke but: it takes a brave man to swim in the red sea But it takes a real man to drink from the red sea.
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Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says "hey buddy you know you have a steering wheel in your pants"? Response - " Aye, it's driving me nuts".
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I heard this one last night: "Did you know that if Michael Jackson had had sex with just five more little boys that the Pope would have made him a Bishop?"
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OK... I am totally offended by this but it is actually pretty darn cunning... and Dane Cook's Catholic so its even funnier... this is from My Best Friend's Girl: A priest and a rabbi are at a wedding. They see a little boy bend over to pick something up, and the priest says, “I’d really like to screw him.” The rabbi asks, “Out of what?” LMAO...
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Sorry to double post but I just remembered my favorite Priest and Rabbi joke: A Priest and a Rabbi are sitting next to each other on a long plane trip. They start to converse and soon become trusting and start to really explore the others beliefs. The Rabbi asks the Priest "Did you ever break your vows ... just once ... and have sex with a woman?" The Priest says "No, I have not. Never." After a few minutes the Priest asks the Rabbi "Did you ever break your vows ... just once ... and have even a little taste of pork?" The Rabbi replies "Well .... I confess that I have. I have tasted pork. And I can tell you, without a doubt, sex is better." Not foul but funny, I think. And right on topic!
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I do remember one like yours but it included a blackf guy also.
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A Priest a Rabbi and a Protestant Minister are talking about how they pay themselves salaries. The Minister says "I draw a line on the floor from east to west and throw all the money from the collection plate into the air. Everything that lands south of the line is mine. Everything that lands north of the line goes back into the church and back to the Lord." The Priest says "I do something similar except I draw a circle on the floor and throw all the money in the air. What lands outside the circle is mine and what lands inside the circle goes to the Lord." The Rabbi thinks for a second and says "I do about the same only I throw all the money in the air and what the Lord wants he keeps and what fall back down is mine."
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Four Nuns die in a car crash. They go in front of St. Peter and he says to the first nun, "As a bride of Christ have you defiled Christ Brides body with the body of a mortal man?" The nun replies yes I touched a penis. St. Peter said wash you hand in the well of everlasting forgiveness and say 10 hail Marys and go on into heaven. At that point the nun at the end of the line starts shoving her way forward. St Peter said please sister wait your turn. Peter and he says to the Second nun, "As a bride of Christ have you defiled Christ Brides body with the body of a mortal man?" The nun replies yes I touched a penis. St. Peter said wash you hand in the well of everlasting forgiveness and say 10 hail Marys and go on into heaven. At this point the nun at the end of the line shoves the other nun out of the way. St. Peter looks at her and says Sister you have all eternity to get into heaven what is your rush? The nun at the end of the line says ... I just want to gargle before she washes her ass.
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