If i love my b/f with all my heart but i cheated on him with out him knowing should i tell him.
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 35
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Yes. You must take responsibility for what you have done. Otherwise you will feel the guilt that I sense you are feeling right now and your relationship will suffer.
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BenjaminMiller is right. You have to tell him. Shame on you for cheating but at least you feel a moral obligation to come clean and are seeking help the way you are. Tell him and suffer the consequences.
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Hard question.. giving advice on other people's relationships is tough to do.. I would say do what feels right in your heart because your choices effect you. I would tell my significant other because I would not want the lie between us and I feel that lies put up a wall between two people and even if the other person does not know what you did.. they will feel the wall between you and it will cause even more discord in the relationship. Sorry I could not be more helpful.
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wait, look deep into yourself and find all the answers for the questions that will come, know that you will hurt and that your relationship will probably end. then be prepared to help the healing and possible the lack of confidence. and know that sometimes you do better just by doing no by telling. Then make a decision whether to tell or not. These type of things happens, sometimes even if we don't want them to happen so do what's best for both.
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I agree with BenjaminMiller, the guilt will cause problems for you, as well as the fear that he may find out. If you tell him, then you might actually learn something from this situation, whether or not this relationship survives it.
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Great answers...also do some major soul searching to figure out WHY you would do such a thing in the first place... If you don't get a handle on the why...you'll be more likely to repeat your mistakes because you'll still be searching for what ever IT is that you'd hoped to find in the act of cheating!
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I can only add to other answers......you say you love him with all your heart - yet you cheated on him (assuming the "if" conjuncts with the "but") then maybe you need to re-assess the "all my heart" bit - you might not love him as much as you think.
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Well, first of all, I would have to disagree with your statement that you love him with all your heart. If you loved him at all, you would not have strayed from him. I just find that difficult to believe. Regardless, if you want to make amends, the best bet would be to tell him, be honest. Besides, do you really think that you would be okay with yourself in the relationship, know that you have cheated on him. Wouldn't you feel so guilty? Sorry if I came off a little harsh, I don't mean it to be.
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Do you have that much honor? If so then yes if not then no. You have to decide alone how much that relationship means to you. If it fails because you cheated on him after you 'told him' then at least you can walk away with a clear conscience.
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I think I wouldn't tell him, but make sure you don't do it again.
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I would say, if you dont know the right thing to do, you are too immature to be in a relationship. And by the way, people who LOVE people dont cheat!!!
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Is everybody here a goddess? We're humans, and humans make mistakes, who said one cannot cheat when she's in love, of course it's possible when the temptation exceeds her ability of resistance!!Believe me one can always be tempted no matter she's in love or not, it's just human nature. So, tell him if you think he can handle this and still trust you. Otherwise keep it to yourself ... yes, every girl is allowed to have some secrets.
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I don;t mean to be blunt....but I don't think you love him as much as you do. Not cheating on a person you love "with all your heart" shouldn't be that hard...why don't you do him a favor tell him and then leave him alone. Sorry.
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I AGREE WITH YOU TOTALLY PEOPLE SHOULD STOP BEING SO SELF RIGHTEOUS. HOW DO THEY NO THAT THEIR BROTHER,SISTER,SON,DAUGHTER WOULD NOT DO THIS,HOW WOULD THEY LIKE IF ALL AND SUNDRY LOOKED DOWN ON THEM, JESUS WE ARE ONLY HUMAN NOT BAD EVEL PEOPLE JUST FOOLISH
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Depends if you still want him to be your b/f. Confess and then prepare to kiss his azz gbye.
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if he asks, tell him the truth.
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yes you should tell him he has the right to know beside if you do not the secret will rip you apart trust me I know
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By not telling him you are basically lying to him. You can have some secrets, but when it could possibly affect him (thinking STD's here) then you have the responsibility to tell him. Besides, keeping such secrets from one another is no way to build a relationship.
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I think that if you want a true, long-term relationship then you should tell him and work it out together. If the two of you really do love each other with all your heart now, then you will be able to overcome the problem and have an even more fulfilling relationship. If you can't, then it is probably best to find out now rather then later. But also ask yourself the same question, if he did the same thing would you want to know. Some people wouldn't but I personally wouldn't recommend starting a long-term relationship like that.
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I will be blunt too I know people make mistakes and they look at other pople blah blah whatever. My ex husband cheated on me numerous times once while I was going through a miscarriage with his child. He has also given my a virus that I will be stuck wiht forever because he cheated on me. It is not right by any means and you need ot tell him the truth. 1: He might stay and try to gain your trust back and make it work. 2: He may kick your @ss to the curb. You never know but you will be hurting him worse by keeping this from him and living a lie. I am not judging you I know sometimes you may make a mistake but I am jusging your decision. I mean you say you "love him with all your heart" yet you crushed his heart in a million pieces. TELL HIM!
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No. You don't love him. You couldn't cheat if you did. Don't tell him. It's none of his business
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honestly we are all human,no one is perfect. some things are better left unsaid.you know what you did was wrong you have to live with that guilt.dont do it again though.what he doesnt know wont hurt him.fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me
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You cheated on your boyfriend,... but you love him? You got a twisted perception of love.
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Don't do it again!! And keep your mouth shut. Deal with the guilt as best you can.
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You would crush his soul. By doing so, if he dosn't kill himself, he will get stronger, but your guilt may never die.
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To say that you don't love if you cheat is a very idealized black and white attitude. Love is complex and there could be all kinds of factors that would lead someone to cheat on someone they love which more than likely would make it all the more painful and regrettable. As far as telling him. I would say that would partly depend on him. If he is the jealous type that will not be able to handle the information in a constructive manner then telling him MIGHT not be the best way to go. If there is a chance he could/can find out he probably will so it is probably better just to fess up. You do owe it to both of you to go get a checkup ESPECIALLY if you don't tell him since he will be at risk without knowing it. Also, use this as a learning lesson and don't do it again, first time it is a dumb mistake after that you have other issues.
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yes you may love him, but it was a selfish act that has lead you to cheat. you can't have the best of 2 worlds. tell him now. either way he will be hurt. keeping it a secert is not fair to your committment. it will be devastating to hear now by you or by someone esle later. telling him yourself and sooner rather then later will show him you realised it was wrong and love him enough to tell him. please, finding out by other people hurts really bad, i know my husband was cheating on me, he didn't have the guts to tell me because he was selfish. he wanted to sleep around because he wanted to think with his dick, but he also wanted his wife and children. he needed to grow up. you need to understand what you want, a committment and open communictaion with this guy or to totally keep it a secret, which may eat at you forever until you do something about it! good luck, and i hope you find happiness!
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In my view, its not possible to genuinely love someone and cheat on them at the same time, whatever the temptation. Therefore, you can't really love your boyfriend. You may feel other things for him, which you may have interpreted as love, but love doesn't cheat, love doesn't demand, love doesn't take and love doesn't hide or conceal. The rest of your question is therefore academic.
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just remmember this "u left the one u love for the one u like n the one that u like will leave u for the one s/he loves"
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You should tell him...guilt is very powerful and soon he will be able to tell there is something wrong. even worst, he can find out from someone else and that will hurt him more than hearing it from you. he'll be hurt when you tell him this but love can conquer all-im not gonna lie, you'll probably be away from him for a while but at the end it will work out.
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Must be some part of your heart, that does not love your boyfriend. Tell him and then he will tell you goodbye. If you did it once, you will do it again.
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There are many times in life when it is best to keep things to one's self, this may be one of those times. Only you can answer the question, however, you might want to consider a few things: first, would telling your partner achieve anything positive? If the answer is no, then I wouldn't tell him. Everyone makes choices that they regret later. Try not to beat yourself up about this mistake and remember how it makes you feel if you're faced with this choice again. It may also be helpful to try and learn why you made the choice. If you can't find the answers yourself, consider a therapist. Good luck.
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This actually happened to me many years ago. I cheated because I had horrible self esteem and thought that's what I had to do to get people to like me. A "friend" (now used so lightly) hubg out all of the time and helped me out around the house. Then he kept flirting, and eventually I gave in so that I wouldn't feel guilty. Very bad time in my life. I never told because it meant nothing, excpet that I had SERIOUS issues, and telling would have hurt him so much just so that I could get my conscience clear, which wouldn't have happened anyway, because the whole thing made me feel so dirty.
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NO! You're not married yet. Some people tell things to get it off their chest to ease their guilt. Why put this on him? I do think you should re-think this love thing though. This isn't love. Love isn't something you feel 1 minute and not the next. Or oops I did it again. Give yourself a break too, don't put so much presure on yourself, ease up, look before you take your next step.
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YES :)
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