How do I deal with a husband who undermines me when I attempt to discipline his unruly kid?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 11
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Discipline him too.Cut him off if ya know what i mean ;-)
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You need to have a one-on-one frank conversation with him to iron things out. Do it without allowing emotion to take over -- just lay your cards on the table and ask for his input. If you keep moving forward under these circumstances things will only get worse. You need to communicate with him about this.
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Kids and finances ... the two most frequent problem areas which bring down second marraiges. My youngest daughter had the same problem and wound up getting a divorce because her first husband would allow his two children from a previous marriage to disrespect her. This is one of those things which should be settled PRIOR to the marriage.
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you are doomed! there is no hope sorry! move on
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I am guessing here that since you say his kid that the child is not yours, that being so, he should be discipling the child not you. Talk to him and explain how you feel, you need to both agree on what is unruly and what punishments are warranted. I also find it a little disrespectful to refer to the child as his unruly kid, perhaps the child feels your animosity towards it.
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Maybe he doesn't want you to discipline his kid? I think you should have a conversation with him about this. If he says he does want you to take on the role of discipline, he'll have to make a commitment to stop undermining you, because that's not a functional way to raise a child. But if he doesn't want you in that role, you should leave it up to him.
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Kick him in the nuts and tell him to shut the F*ck up.
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If you've married somebody who had a kid from a previous marriage and that child lives with you both, then you and he both have to accept that you are now both responsible for the child's upbringing. You clearly want to have a say in this, as the child's behaviour has a direct impact on you. The kid probably sees you as the stereotypical stepmom, but that's irrelevant. He's in your house, and he should abide by your rules. You and your husband need to discuss this and find a solution or it will lead to increasing tension, or worse.
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Tell him that if you have to discipline the kid because he won't, that he has to live with your methods. If he says that you have no right to discipline the kid, agree with him, all the while pointing out that marital privileges aren't a right either. Have him sleep on the sofa. You have the right to live in a household without all this drama and conflict.
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marriage comes first in every aspect, you cant be wonderful parents when one of you is not supporting the others judgement. You need to explain to him that your his wife and that if your bothered by his children then as his wife you should be able to teach them responisible behavior.
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Is this "his" child or a mutual child? If it's his child, he needs to take over, and you need to detach yourself.
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